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Mothering › Groups ›  April 2012 DDC › Discussions › NO sex drive, am I the only one???

NO sex drive, am I the only one???

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
So I hope this isn't TMI but here goes...

DH isn't particularly fond of sex in late pregnancy, and I was so uncomfortable at the end of my pregnancy, that his lack of interest was a relief. That said, I think we stopped having sex when I was about 30 weeks along.

Collin is now 3 months old, and we have only had sex once. that means that in 23 weeks, we have had sex once. That's nearly 6 months. DH is definitely interested, but I cannot seem to make myself *want* to have sex. It's uncomfortable and I'm just too stinking tired to care. By the end of the day I'm so touched out that the idea of having sex feels more like another chore than enriching our relationship. I have absolutely no desire, whatsoever. So, what should I do?? Will it get better? Is this normal??
post #2 of 7

In my experience, and that of most mothers I've talked to about it, it is completely normal.  It can take time to get your drive back. I always felt like I had to have my fertility back to have any sex drive at all.  Thank heaven for patient husbands!  I've found it sometimes takes real effort to get physical at all, and even just an evening cuddle is hard to get into.  This time, for some reason, I've felt so much better about it, but it hasn't seemed to matter when it comes to frequency, because there is still no time/energy for sex at the end of the day - so drive or no drive, I think you are pretty normal. 
 

post #3 of 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiromama01 View Post

So I hope this isn't TMI but here goes...
DH isn't particularly fond of sex in late pregnancy, and I was so uncomfortable at the end of my pregnancy, that his lack of interest was a relief. That said, I think we stopped having sex when I was about 30 weeks along.
Collin is now 3 months old, and we have only had sex once. that means that in 23 weeks, we have had sex once. That's nearly 6 months. DH is definitely interested, but I cannot seem to make myself *want* to have sex. It's uncomfortable and I'm just too stinking tired to care. By the end of the day I'm so touched out that the idea of having sex feels more like another chore than enriching our relationship. I have absolutely no desire, whatsoever. So, what should I do?? Will it get better? Is this normal??

 I feel like I'm going out on a limb here with my privacy but....   if you feel like you want to make him happy occasionally can you let him help you get into the mood or at least feel like following though with it. Believe me when I say I literally roll my eyes sometimes but DH works to get me there with him and then it's a bit bearable.  Jenny is correct in that it is so totally normal at this point. Nature pushes up to make our babies the center of attention.

post #4 of 7

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Edited by arbybee - 9/11/13 at 5:59am
post #5 of 7

You are not the only one! Isn't it awful to feel touched out? Sometimes I feel like screaming when dh tries to cuddle. But like the PPs, it does help to fake interest once in a while. It seems to get the ball rolling.  I always stop when I totally can't bear it any more, or try to finish him off another way. wink1.gif  And I definitely make sure to let him know when I am feeling like I'm in the mood, even when its a random time of the day (first thing in the morning? Hello!) Lol. 

 

It will get back to normal.  hug.gif

post #6 of 7
We actually tried for the first time last night and DD is 3 1/2 months. I was on bed rest and vaginal rest from 29 weeks on, so it's been since January for us. I haven't been interested at all, although it's not the touching part, 'cause I still like to cuddle. Anyway, last night I figured I would just go with it, hoping I would get in the mood...nuthin'. And it was relatively uncomfortable. I couldn't care less @ this point, but my poor hubby. At least he's being very sweet & patient.

Definitely glad to hear I'm not the only one!
post #7 of 7

I think what you are experiencing is normal.  I went through that after I had my first because of being tired and it was not "there", but I still made different efforts and with time the sex drive did come back.  I am 36 weeks this week and I have a sex drive, but unfortunately we are afraid it will put me into labor and we are trying to avoid it :(  It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you will get your sex drive back!!

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