New Exclusive Pumping Tribe! - Page 6

[clairebear3]

Originally Posted by MadelinesMama 

Down to 3 times a day which is pretty lovely for me. 

That's great MadelinesMama, hope you are enjoying the extra time off!

Originally Posted by Jessimaca 

Tried nursing again the other day and it was an epic fail.  I'm not sure why I do that to myself-- it always makes me feel really sad.

Thinking of you Jessimaca!

Well I think yesterday was officially my last day of pumping!  After my mum had visited I was down to two pumps a day.  I was going to continue like this until I stopped for definite a week before we go to the UK, around 17 Nov.  I had never really had any trouble with sore nipples when I was pumping 6 times a day but the less I pumped the more sore and cracked they seemed to get.  Yesterday I was getting the bath with DD and I kind of pulled her across my front and a 2cm crack opened up on the top of my nipple.  Then I thought enough is enough!  I'm not going to try and get it to heal up just for these last 10 days.  Ideally I wanted to taper off more, I'm pumping twice a day and get about 300ml.  I really hope I'm not going to have any problems now that I've stopped so abruptly.  I am drinking mint tea as I've heard that helps your milk dry up, I'm still eating oatmeal each morning but I have that for breakfast everyday (i love it so much!).  Anything else I can do?  It is seriously painful!

I never did get my lipase problem sorted, I tried scalding but it didn't seem to help, maybe I didn't get it hot enough, I was afraid of boiling it too much.  I have been mixing BM with formula.

My goal was to breastfeed for 6 months, DD is now 28 weeks so i got a little bit past my original BF goal

Ladies you have been an inspiration, I'm so glad this thread exists, it really made me feel like I wasn't alone in this!
 

[rgarlough]

Been a LONG time since I've been on the Mothering forums since my first ds is 9 and we just had our second ds on 10/22 :)  Had a rough emergency csection and my milk didn't come in for almost 10 days.  Lots of bottles in the hospital thanks to my exhaustion, pain meds and lack of patience... I exclusively bf'd ds #1 till he was almost 4 so I figured once we got home things would be a breeze.  Reality check and ds #2 is not into latching regularly, very impatient at the breast probably from the hospital attempts and he is a very fast eater to the point where he gets too much way too fast and is a happy puker.  I'm going to try the technique here https://breastfeedingusa.org/content/article/baby-led-latch-how-awaken-your-babys-breastfeeding-instincts over the weekend and hopefully get the little one off his boob aversion.  I'm currently pumping every 2-3 hours during the day and trying for at least once from midnight till 5 am.  While I'm slowly getting more sleep, I'm still exhausted so I focus more on my sleep than pumping during the night figuring I can't afford my supply to drop during the day too from not enough rest.  I can currently supply ds with about 1/2 of his feeding needs with my ebm so we've been supplementing with formula.  I have to head back to work at the 6 week mark and was so worried ds #2 wouldn't take bottles... my first ds REFUSED all bottles & cups and we ended up reverse cycling so he would only feed overnight and go without bf'ing during the day while I was at work.  It has taken me a while to get past my negative feelings about our bf'ing challenges and I still struggle with frustration which doesn't help anything.  I really miss cosleeping and the easy peasy night time feedings vs all this bottle feeding stuff!  I'm loosing my crunchiness!  Thinking of delayed vaccination schedule because he isn't getting straight bm... Basically I feel like I'm not doing my baby right by being 'so flexible' with the bottles and formula.  I've even been shoving a pacifier in his mouth because of his strong sucking instinct which normally I would never do.  I'm sorry to be such a downer :( and hope things will take a turn for the better soon!

Thanks for your patience!

Rhianna

[Bpoppitz]

Hi ladies! Its amazing how many other women are out there pumping! I really tried with the breastfeeding too but my son is so active and I had gestational diabetes so once he was born his blood sugar wouldn't stay up so he ended up in the nicu for 24 hours and of course they had us feed him formula when his blood sugar started dropping and in the nicu.  I made sure to pump every two hours though just like the nurses said and managed to keep that going to get my supply in.  Thank goodness I did.  Now I made about 45 ounces a day (10 more ounces than needed) and I only pump four times a day for about half an hour each time.  I was able to breastfeed for about a little less than the first month.  My son is such a slow eater even when we switched to the bottle it was taking him an hour and a hour each time he ate so like nine hours of eating a day! I had to switch to the bottle because he was taking so long at each feeding it became extremely painful so I went to rent a pump the symphony from the hospital.  I did that for a couple months then bought a refurbished lactina off of amazon for about 400 bucks.  I really really wanted to make sure I kept my supply up and that I didnt have to supplement with formula.  I was really sad and so frustrated with the breastfeeding.  My son also did this horrible thing where he would delatch multiple times during a feeding and with my nipples already being extremely painful and sore it was torture.  Then his latch just got messed up along with the taking forever to nurse and I just couldn't take the pain anymore.  I have had some diffuclty with my nipples with pumping but once I got the lactina I stopped using olive oil everytime I pumped like I had to with the symphony.  So good luck out there to all you ladies.  Pumping is for sure a full time job, just make sure in the beginning your pumping as often as you can/breastfeeding as often as you can to get your supply in!

[MommyofNRM]

Hi ladies! I've started lurking on this thread since I started pumping a few weeks ago. I have a few questions so I'll finally introduce myself. 

My ds2 was born on the 17th of October and I had trouble getting a good latch right away. By the time we came home from the hospital, my nipples were raw and bleeding. Long story short, I gave up on nursing and have been pumping. I'm only pumping enough to keep up with him and I struggle to even do that without my ds1 feeling neglected (I'm a SAHM). 

My questions are - 1) how often do you pump? 2) how much do you get each time? 3) how do you find time if you're home with kids by yourself? 

Also my ds2 has recently started having very watery stools, occasionally throwing up (maybe once a week) and he sometimes chokes and gags while drinking from a bottle. We're using the Medela bottles that I pump into. I've tried Avent, Tomme Tippee, and Similac bottles- Avent & Similac were slightly better, Tommee Tippee was no good though. I'm assuming now that the bottle isn't our problem now since the watery stools have started. I'm planning to call the pediatrician in the am, but what do you think? Does this sound like some sort of allergy? I'm at a loss. My ds1 wasn't breastfed so these issues are new to me. 

Anyone have any suggestions??

[Jessimaca]

Hello All!  It is so hard for me to get on her lately!  I will try to check in more.  Just hit the 7 month mark-- still going.

NRM~  How did it go with your first baby?  Is EPing your only option?  It's just so hard I always encourage people to expore every option before resigning to this fate.  That being said-- it gets easier with time.  It is MUCH MUCH easier now for me than it was in the beginning.  For the first couple months I pumped 9 times a day-- this is my first baby so I really wanted to establish a good supply.  At 3 months I cut down to 8.  Each pumping I cut out is such a relief!!!!  Gives me a little more life/time.  At 4 months I cut to 7 and now I'm at 6 feels really good-- I can get out a little.  I watched my output really close when I cut out a pumping.  I used to be averaging around 40 oz a day-- its dropped a little lately though.  Everyone is different of course.  But, if you can get over 32 then hopefully you won't have to supplement.

Have to run-- be back to write more in a bit

[Jessimaca]

NRM~ This is my first child. I have NO idea how you EP with other children. It's been really hard keeping my DD ok while I pump for her. 2-3 months was the worst because she wouldn't play with anything much. Now I can entertain her for 15 min a little easier. Maybe have a basket full of toys that you only pull out while pumping?  Maybe if they are old enough they can watch a tv show or a movie just during those times?  Anyone else have ideas?  The hardest times for me were when I was pumping a lot and DD was little and is high need and she would cry through my pumping :-(  I try to time it during naps as much as possible.  Leaves no down time for yourself though.  I also pumped during the night and still do at least once.  I use Tommee Tippee-- my DD chokes a lot too.  She is growing out of it now.  She also has a strong gag reflex.  I'm sure all these things are related somehow. 

[13pumpkins]

Originally Posted by Jessimaca 

Yes, also at the 4 month mark.  Had such a depressing day yesterday-- the 4 month mark is hitting me hard.  I just can't believe she isn't nursing!  It seems so impossible now.  I can't believe how much time and effort I've put into helping others and trainings...  and my baby won't latch.  Its so ironic and so depressing.

I'm just posting in this thread for the first time but I am feeling this very much so. It is hard as I am so proud of being able to pump enough for them, but then also wanting to nurse so badly.  As I near the 4 month mark, I do start feeling that nursing them is going to be a pipe dream.  It is odd for me to also accept that technically, by majority, I have nursed less children than I have pumped for.  Heh, the babies blew all my "standards" away.  Now, the majority of my children have been born tiny, born early, and not nursed.

Still, I am going to keep going for as long as I can.  I hate pumping but I love that I can feed my babies breastmilk.

[ethylester]

I have been pumping exclusively for 5 months now. My son was born 2 months early so his adjusted age is 3 months. He had trouble latching and eventually I just gave up trying. I used a nipple shield and met with a LC, but it just wasn't consistent. The baby would fuss and get frustrated very fast. I am most likely in the minority here, but I also did find breastfeeding to be comfortable at all. I never found a good position to sit in and it just wasn't working for me. I don't really like pumping either, but I am doing it because I know it is the best thing for my son.

My issue is that I've been involuntarily lax on pumping the last month and I am afraid my supply has gone down too low. I manage to pump enough for each feeding and end the day with an extra 6 ounce bag for the freezer. The problem is, my work is getting busier and some days I only pump every 4 to 6 hours, whereas before I was pumping every 2-3 hours. I am so afraid I am going to lose my supply because of my schedule. When he was in the NICU, I could pump over 1000ml a day! Now it is much less. I know that if you want your supply to grow, you should pump more often. Is that still true after I've already been doing it for 5 months? Can I make my supply go back up? I would really like to pump at least until he reaches 1 year adjusted age.

I had to buy a deep freezer and it is over halfway full of frozen breastmilk. I am hoping that when he starts needing more than I can produce, that I can just use the frozen stuff. I am just afraid of the day when I no longer will be adding to the stockpile. Also, I hear that frozen breast milk doesn't have as many antibodies in it as fresh milk. I'd like to keep giving him fresh milk as long as possible.

My biggest gripe with pumping is washing the supplies every time. My hands have become so chapped and cracked from having them in dish water several times a day. Two days ago, my finger just started bleeding because it was so dry. I put lotion on, but it just washes off 3 hours later as I have to wash the supplies again. I feel like I'm tethered to the pump. People don't really understand that you have to stay on a schedule for pumping and that you can't really be late or early. The most frustrating is when you are supposed to leave the house and you have to wait until the very last minute to pump because it would be too early to pump otherwise and you wouldn't get anything. So then you have to stress out and rush yourself. The other worst case scenario is something like what happened last night. My son did not want me to put him down and so I held him for five and a half hours from 5pm til 10:30pm. In the middle of this, he ate twice but I had to put him down to pump each time and he just screamed and cried and there was nothing I could do, as my hands are literally tied. It is maddening.

It is nice to read that I am not alone in my frustrations. Exclusive pumping is a big challenge but it is worth it in the end, especially for a preemie who can use all the antibodies he can get.

[13pumpkins]

Originally Posted by ethylester 

My biggest gripe with pumping is washing the supplies every time. My hands have become so chapped and cracked from having them in dish water several times a day. 

Hugs to you mama.  I fully understand what you are going through as your story is very similar to mine.  Preemies are very challenging and I'm proud of your hard work pumping for your baby.  I share your concern as I am returning to work next month and I am not sure I will be able to maintain the same pumping schedule.  If anything, remember solids are coming soon for your little one. I am planning on delaying solids for my babies at minimum the extra month to make their adjusted age meet 6 months...but I also wait for readiness like interest, being able to sit, pincher grip, swallowing, etc. so it might be even longer.

A couple of thoughts.

--Would you feel comfortable NOT washing every time you pump?  During the early colostrum days, the LC at the hospital indicated that I did not need to wash to avoid losing the precious drops of first milk.  You could also keep the pump equipment in the fridge ready to go.  There are many mothers I know who do this.

--Have you thought of getting duplicate pumping supplies?  That way, you could soak one set while you use the other and wash both after the second pumping.  That way, if you would like to have clean equipment at every pumping you would only have to wash every two pumpings.  Or if you want to wash less frequently, this also would help you.

--What pump are you using?  Many pumps have car adaptors.  Armed with my pump-ease (there are many generic versions it just happened to be the one I have) and a car adaptors, I often time the departure from the house with pumping.  That way, I have the freshest milk for my babies, I can pump multi-task, and our departure from the home has been timed to coincide with pumping time.  The last bit makes me feel like I have maximized my window of opportunity for an outing or errand because I arrive freshly pumped and have 3 hours until my next session instead of 3 hours minus the driving time.  As it takes 30-40 minutes to get the triplets (60 minutes when it is all 5 kids), this really helps maximize my time.  Since I am pumping exclusively, I got a Lactina on eBay and I leave my old Pump in Style advanced in the car.  Though, my Lactina did come with a car adaptor so I know they make them.

[rgarlough]

1) how often do you pump? i try for every 2-3 hours but overnight i go up to 5 hrs between if ds lets me sleep ;)

2) how much do you get each time? it varies from 1.5 to almost 3 oz per breast depending on how long its been between pumping session with an average of 3-5 oz total

3) how do you find time if you're home with kids by yourself? i sadly prop ds's bottle & end up pumping while he feeds otherwise he'll scream

[13pumpkins]

Originally Posted by rgarlough 

1) how often do you pump? i try for every 2-3 hours but overnight i go up to 5 hrs between if ds lets me sleep ;)

2) how much do you get each time? it varies from 1.5 to almost 3 oz per breast depending on how long its been between pumping session with an average of 3-5 oz total

3) how do you find time if you're home with kids by yourself? i sadly prop ds's bottle & end up pumping while he feeds otherwise he'll scream

1)  At first, it was every 3 hours religiously around the clock.  I kept that up from their birth late August to the end of October.  Then, I started working in a 4 hour night and now I have squeezed out 5 hour night every now and then.  I pump every 3 hours, 4 sometimes but my body reminds me this is not cool!

2)  9-12 oz from one breast 6-8 from the other per session.

3)  It is SO incredibly hard.  Sometimes I time errands with pumping so I can pump in the car while they fall asleep to the driving.  I bottle prop way more than I wish I had to but I am alone with three and there is only so much I can do.  It is harder when the big girls are home but at least with the entire family DH, DD1, and I can each hold and feed one baby.  The hardest is when two cry or I have to pump holding one while she cries :(

[ethylester]

Originally Posted by 13pumpkins 

Hugs to you mama.  I fully understand what you are going through as your story is very similar to mine.  Preemies are very challenging and I'm proud of your hard work pumping for your baby.  I share your concern as I am returning to work next month and I am not sure I will be able to maintain the same pumping schedule.  If anything, remember solids are coming soon for your little one. I am planning on delaying solids for my babies at minimum the extra month to make their adjusted age meet 6 months...but I also wait for readiness like interest, being able to sit, pincher grip, swallowing, etc. so it might be even longer.

A couple of thoughts.

--Would you feel comfortable NOT washing every time you pump?  During the early colostrum days, the LC at the hospital indicated that I did not need to wash to avoid losing the precious drops of first milk.  You could also keep the pump equipment in the fridge ready to go.  There are many mothers I know who do this.

--Have you thought of getting duplicate pumping supplies?  That way, you could soak one set while you use the other and wash both after the second pumping.  That way, if you would like to have clean equipment at every pumping you would only have to wash every two pumpings.  Or if you want to wash less frequently, this also would help you.

--What pump are you using?  Many pumps have car adaptors.  Armed with my pump-ease (there are many generic versions it just happened to be the one I have) and a car adaptors, I often time the departure from the house with pumping.  That way, I have the freshest milk for my babies, I can pump multi-task, and our departure from the home has been timed to coincide with pumping time.  The last bit makes me feel like I have maximized my window of opportunity for an outing or errand because I arrive freshly pumped and have 3 hours until my next session instead of 3 hours minus the driving time.  As it takes 30-40 minutes to get the triplets (60 minutes when it is all 5 kids), this really helps maximize my time.  Since I am pumping exclusively, I got a Lactina on eBay and I leave my old Pump in Style advanced in the car.  Though, my Lactina did come with a car adaptor so I know they make them.

Just wanted to say thanks for all your advice! It was very useful! I didn't even realize my breast pump had a battery adapter, but I looked in the box, and there it was! So I went out and got some batteries so that I could pump in the car next time we had a long ride ahead of us. But before I got the chance to pump in the car, we had a big snow storm and my power was out for 6 hours. Thanks to you, I had new batteries I could put in the adapter that I didn't know I had and still be able to give my baby fresh milk! So thank you for that!

Also, I found, when I looked in the box, that I had an extra set of flanges and membrane hook up things, so now I have two sets and I am doing half the amount of washing. It's so great. My hands feel a lot better. And the refrigerator idea is great, too. When I pump at work, I don't wash out the pump supplies because they don't have a good sink area to do that in, so I just rinse them and put them out in the car. It's winter so they stay nice and cold and so I'm no longer worried about not washing them properly during this time.

So I just wanted to thank you for getting me to look in the darn box to see what I had in there. When I first got the pump, it was of course when I was in the hospital with my baby and I didn't really get the chance to examine the whole package. I just grabbed what I needed and threw the box into storage. So thanks for the ideas! They came in very handy.

[ethylester]

Originally Posted by 13pumpkins 

1)  At first, it was every 3 hours religiously around the clock.  I kept that up from their birth late August to the end of October.  Then, I started working in a 4 hour night and now I have squeezed out 5 hour night every now and then.  I pump every 3 hours, 4 sometimes but my body reminds me this is not cool!

2)  9-12 oz from one breast 6-8 from the other per session.

3)  It is SO incredibly hard.  Sometimes I time errands with pumping so I can pump in the car while they fall asleep to the driving.  I bottle prop way more than I wish I had to but I am alone with three and there is only so much I can do.  It is harder when the big girls are home but at least with the entire family DH, DD1, and I can each hold and feed one baby.  The hardest is when two cry or I have to pump holding one while she cries :(

So from one breast, per day, you get between 72 to 96 ounces. Then your other breast, you get between 48 to 64 ounces, bringing your total to 120 to 160 ounces a day??!?! A can of pop is 12 ounces, so you can pump the equivalent of at the very least, 10 pop cans per day?? A 10 pack. DANG. That is so much milk! I am lucky if I get 35 ounces in one day. What are you doing with all that extra milk? You must need like 5 extra freezers.

Is this typical for other people? I can't believe how much less milk I get that you. I pump 8 times a day and have been for 5 and a half months now.

[13pumpkins]

Originally Posted by ethylester 

Just wanted to say thanks for all your advice! It was very useful! I didn't even realize my breast pump had a battery adapter, but I looked in the box, and there it was! So I went out and got some batteries so that I could pump in the car next time we had a long ride ahead of us. But before I got the chance to pump in the car, we had a big snow storm and my power was out for 6 hours. Thanks to you, I had new batteries I could put in the adapter that I didn't know I had and still be able to give my baby fresh milk! So thank you for that!

Also, I found, when I looked in the box, that I had an extra set of flanges and membrane hook up things, so now I have two sets and I am doing half the amount of washing. It's so great. My hands feel a lot better. And the refrigerator idea is great, too. When I pump at work, I don't wash out the pump supplies because they don't have a good sink area to do that in, so I just rinse them and put them out in the car. It's winter so they stay nice and cold and so I'm no longer worried about not washing them properly during this time.

So I just wanted to thank you for getting me to look in the darn box to see what I had in there. When I first got the pump, it was of course when I was in the hospital with my baby and I didn't really get the chance to examine the whole package. I just grabbed what I needed and threw the box into storage. So thanks for the ideas! They came in very handy.

I'm so glad I could help.  It's been really hard not being able to nurse or help others nurse so getting to help someone with pumping really soothes the soul.  Same goes for donating milk.

Last night, I slipped my hands into socks after I loaded them with lotion.  They are really rough with all the washing as well.

Originally Posted by ethylester 

So from one breast, per day, you get between 72 to 96 ounces. Then your other breast, you get between 48 to 64 ounces, bringing your total to 120 to 160 ounces a day??!?! A can of pop is 12 ounces, so you can pump the equivalent of at the very least, 10 pop cans per day?? A 10 pack. DANG. That is so much milk! I am lucky if I get 35 ounces in one day. What are you doing with all that extra milk? You must need like 5 extra freezers.

Is this typical for other people? I can't believe how much less milk I get that you. I pump 8 times a day and have been for 5 and a half months now.

I'm really fortunate that I am making this much milk.  The only thing that I worry about is that it seems I am at my peak NOW.  Unlike a nursling who guides my body in how much to make, I push it to make the most it can make now.  What happens when the babies want bigger bottles???  Yikes.  Right now, my triplets consume most of what I pump and I only put away 8-20 oz daily.  After the chest freezer and part of the fridge freezer were consumed in bag storage, we invested in a standing freezer.  I've been able to donate some of my milk as well too need to remain fairly conservative as I do not know what the future holds.

[rgarlough]

Happy New Year to everyone!  I wanted to update since its been a while since I've started this EP journey.  I had my first 6 oz pumping session this morning which was a MAJOR milestone for me since I've been working so hard to increase my output per pumping session.  I've been taking various supps over the last couple of months to get my output higher so I'm barely offering formula to DS :)  Perhaps 1 - 2 oz bottle every other day or so.  So I'm almost exclusively offering EBM  90% of the time!!!  I am still pumping at least every 2 hours more like every 3 with the main goal of a minimum number of 8 sessions per day.  I'm up during the night at least once more often twice to pump.  It is an exhausting experience especially since I've been battling a wicked cold for the past 3+ weeks.  But I can tell my body is recovering from the virus and rewarding me with more productive pumping sessions.  

SLEEP is the major factor that kept my output low and FINALLY between ds sleeping more regularly, me cutting myself some slack and just living in the moment - not stressing about milk production, and taking good care of myself with foods that up milk production (oatmeal, quinoa, beer once a day).  Now I'm able to make enough milk everyday for ds and that means sometimes 30 oz per day!  Most days I pump 25 oz which is what ds needs to keep him happy since he is a puker and a lot of what he eats comes back up.  It was very hard emotionally to see my hard work coming back up every feeding.  Despite all the bottle/nipple changes, he still happily pukes up a good share of what he takes in.  He is thriving though and packing on the baby fat.  Looking at his chubby face and the rolls on his thighs makes me smile and I know he is doing very well on 'mommy milk' as it is affectionately called in our home.  After EBF'ing DS #1 for almost 4 years, EP'ing for ds#2 has been a completely different journey.  

My goal is to pump for a min of 6 months to get him through the cold and flu season.  If I can get past that milestone, I'll do what I can to keep going but know that I've done far more work this time around than I ever thought I could thinking back to those ROUGH first weeks post c-section when I prayed my milk would come at day 8+... 

[Bmorefarmgirl]

Hello! I'm so glad I found this thread. my daughter was born on Halloween and I've been exclusively pumping since then. she had a rough start and had a brain injury due to her cord being clamped off during birth. she is not able to nurse due to oral motor difficulties but we're trying to work on it with an occupational therapist. She has a G-tube. So On top of exclusive pumping we are dealing with feeding bags and all that stuff. I'm so glad to read all your experiences. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in this. This is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Last night I had to give her about 9 ounces of formula for the night feed. That is the first time she's had formula. I felt so sad and was frantically digging in the freezer for just one last bag from my oversupply from the first few weeks. I just can't seem to make enough to feed her all day and night. I'm still trying to keep up and thinking of starting to take some fenugreek supplements to get my supply up. Hoping that someday we'll be able to nurse or at this point I'd even be glad if she could take a bottle. Not that that would change the EPing, but it would be a step in the right direction for her oral motor development stuff.
I have a really fussy baby too and I Feel like it would be so much better if I could just nurse her. I'm so grateful to find other people who are having this experience who understand what it's like. I nursed my son for over two years even though he was a preemie and couldn't latch on until he was six days old. This is so much harder than that. I never could've imagined this. I had a successful vbac and a full term baby. I never imagined I'd be in this situation.
It's really inspiring that so many of you have been at this for months and months. Thank you for sharing your stories.

[MadelinesMama]

Well...I'm at  15 months of pumping and down to 3 pumpings a day.  I'm not making hardly anything anymore, but I plan to keep going until 18 months.  I get 2-3oz total in a day of pumping.  It doesn't seem like it's really worthwhile but maybe it is.  Some has to be better than nothing, doesn't it?  
 

[jocelyndale]

Some is definitely better than none.

I'm glad to see this thread. I'd somehow missed it.

I'm EPing for my former 28 weeker  She's now a bit over 7mo adjusted, will be 10mo actual tomorrow.  We've dealt with a slew of latch issues stemming from a high vaulted palate (congenital), oral aversions from intubation and reflux, tiny mouth and giant nipples, lack of hunger cueing, etc.

She was up to half of her feeds at the breast by August (about 2mo adjusted) and she was lunging for my boobs, happy as could be when she went on a sudden nursing strike.  Screaming if I opened my shirt.  It was intense.  And hasn't really let up. I nursed my son for four years, I know all the tricks for a striking or distracted nursling.  They don't work.  IBCLCs, chats with LLL, OT . . . no luck. I still offer daily, but she's not having it.  And she's not always eager to feed from a bottle, either, but she's eating enough to stay on a growth curve of her own.

It's hard.  I need a support group for bitter EPers.  Her birth was precipitous and I think I'd have an easier time processing it right now if she'd just nurse.  I think I grieve the nursing relationship more than the birth experience.  But it is what it is.  I'm blessed with abundant supply (overabundant at times) and a husband who telecommutes.  My older child is old enough to be fairly self sufficient.  Finding time to pump is still a challenge, but I still have enough to feed fresh, feed the freezer, and donate.  I pump about 36-40oz a day in five sessions, down from 65-70oz a few months ago.  That's fine, though I keep an eye on output to ensure that this downward trend doesn't continue.  I might have to add in a session or two if that happens.  

I'm between ovulation and my period right now.  I have a supply dip (still more than we need) and sore nipples/ducts for this entire part of my cycle and my cycle is atypical, so this period can last from 1-3 weeks.  *sigh*  

It's sad to think that I won't have the experience of nursing her until she's ready to wean. And she's our last baby.  Instead, I'll pump full time until 12mo adjusted and then cut back after that to see if I can still produce 12-16oz a day with fewer sessions (2-3, maybe).  But that's only if she continues to take to solids.  She's surprisingly into them, given her oral motor issues.

[Bmorefarmgirl]

My mom told me yesterday that no one would blame me if I gave up on pumping. I don't know how I'm going to get much milk when she leaves and I have 2 kids to take care of alone, but I also don't think giving up would help me feel better. It would be one less thing to do, but it would hurt me to give up. I can't imagine doing this 6 or 8 or 10 more months... I just don't know.

[MadelinesMama]

Bmore--Hang in there.  You somehow make yourself manage as long as you can.  It is exhausting and it sucks, but you are doing a great thing for your daughter.  You know that.  Some people find it helpful to set a smaller goal so it doesn't seem quite so overwhelming.  I set my goal at 18 months because for me that felt like the minimum amount of time I would be comfortable with my son getting breastmilk.  I would absolutely prefer for him to get it longer and for us to have a nursing relationship.  But you can only do what you can do.