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Mothering › Groups › August 2012 Birth Club › Discussions › don't have a place to give birth and I'm stressing out

don't have a place to give birth and I'm stressing out

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

we live on the border of 2 states and the midwives are only licensed in the other state, so if we want a midwife, we can't stay home. there might be a bed and breakfast available, but maybe not, because we have no idea when the baby is going to be born. And I went and looked at it, and it's not very comfortable- the bed and the couches were just not comfortable. I am going to call around to other bed and breakfasts on the other side of the border, and see if any others are comfortable with a birth being there and if I even feel comfortable there.


I just wish I could stay home AND have a midwife.

post #2 of 6
Thread Starter 

I can't even make a phone call because my kids are insane and won't stop screaming every time I try to make a phone call.

post #3 of 6

Are there any birth centers in your area?  Or even good hospitals that midwives could deliver at?  I don't know much about it, but I cannot imagine any bed and breakfast allowing a birth there both for liability and hygiene reasons.  I guess that could be different in other states that are a little more crunchy, but I just can't see it unless you know the proprietor personally.  I'm sorry you're struggling to find a way to get the birth you want though.  It's stressful, I know.

post #4 of 6

I'm sorry! I don't have any suggestions, but I know how stressful it can be to look for a birthplace at this point. I hope you get a quiet moment to make some phone calls and that you find a place soon. 

post #5 of 6

Wow-that sounds so frustrating. Would you feel comfortable posting in the "legal" state's tribe to see if there would be a MDC family near the border who would be willing to let you birth in their home? What is your midwife's suggestion? 

post #6 of 6

Well... if you find a nice hotel - can you leave when you go into labor or is it too far away?


And, do you need to ask permission to give birth in the hotel?  This is sort of borderline - but I'm such a proponent of homebirth that taking the "Ask forgiveness later." mentality seems reasonable due to the fact that I think it's a GREAT injustice that homebirth isn't more accessible in the US and elsewhere.  I never asked our landlord's or neighbor's permissions if I could have a homebirth in my rented apartments.  I just did it.  And technically you are renting the hotel as your home for that period of time. 


If your midwives (and you) are comfortable with this... it might be a workable option.  


If you don't think you'll make it - what options are closer to home?  Anything tolerable?  Depending on your comfort level and your own intuition, information, etc. - you could consider an unassisted birth.  Or, is there a good OB in a local hospital you could connect with?  


I'm sure you've thought of all this... just brainstorming.

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