I have a problem that I'd love to hear your opinions of. I am a single mom and I share a duplex with my landlords, We have had a fabulous relationship for nearly 2 years. Their daughter and mine are a year apart in age bar a few days (8&9) and have been good friends since we moved in. It hasn't been without its normal ups and downs, the girls are very alike, both are leaders and stubborn, I also have a younger child who is frequently excluded from outings and treats because he isn't quite as independent as his sister. Recently I was told by another mom that her kids wouldn't come to my place for playdates anymore because the other girl made them feel unwelcome and wanted my daughter all to herself. I had noticed this a little and tried very hard to make everyone feel included.
There have been some family issues recently that have my landlord's family super stressed out and I have been trying to ease their burden a little by taking the kids out frequently. I also have another friend who lives a block away who has a 10 yo and a preemie, so I have been including her older girl as well. Fireworks, beach, sprinkler play etc. Today my landlord came to my door and firmly expressed his anger at my daughter's behaviour in excluding his daughter every time she had another friend over. He specifically named my other friends daughter and said he wasn't going to accept this behaviour, that my daughter needed to learn that friends don't exclude friends when a new friend shows up etc. etc. etc. or he wouldn't allow the girls to play together because his daughter wasn't the default option. I am floored. Neither girl is totally innocent but I don't let either of them away with it and have separated them for a few hours when I see they need a break from each other - which honestly isn't often. I have been involved in ongoing conversations with my landlady about the girls and their headstrong natures, how will we manage puberty etc. We even talked last week about how the upcoming school year would impact their friendship because my daughter is in a higher grade and her homework load will almost double. I feel like I have way better communication with her but this leads me to talk to her about everything. I just do not know how to address this with him without first talking to her.
I am looking down the road to when the girls aren't so close - i.e. if puberty hits my daughter first, or if their relationship just sours, and I am thinking "will I have to move if the girls fall out?" I know, sounds ridiculous doesn't it but man he was really angry and pissed off because his princess was being left out. This was ironic because today they were playing alone for the first time in a week and had fallen out over a video game. My daughter really enjoys going to their place because they have all the modern electronics that she is deprived of at home, but had opted to come home and read rather than fight about things.
So ideas about how to address this with a guy who has poor communication skills, unrealistic expectations, and is my freakin landlord to boot. Sigh.