I feel a little silly writing about this, because it seems like such a general topic...but it's a big one right now in our house. I became a mother 18 months ago, and it was something I'd wanted for soooooo long, and I jumped in with all my clothes on, happy as could be. Now, I'm starting to see some patterns in our house that suggest the relationship between my partner and me hasn't been as healthy as it could be, and I really want to take care of us the way I have been taking care of my daughter, and figure out how to integrate it all.
I have taken on much of the responsibilities for care of our daughter, something we talk about sometimes. My partner expressed early on that he felt like he had no idea what he was doing -- I felt that way, too, sometimes, but felt more confident about my instinct, so I kind of just became the "director." So I make a conscious and regular effort to delegate responsibilities to him, so they can continue to have a good bond. He said recently that he's not as fascinated with fatherhood as he thought he'd be, which I guess is apparent, but still he loves her, and they have fun together.
I've noticed recently that when we're all together, she and I interact a lot more than they do, or than I do with him. He's noticed this, too, and has referred to it as the "Lucy and Eva show," which makes me really uncomfortable. They seem to do better when I'm not around (maybe this is normal, developmentally? We bf and co-sleep and I'm home with her way more.). But I have this instinct that if he and I were more connected, then the whole family might do better overall, including his relationship with her.
So finally I come to my question, which is -- what do you all do to keep the healthy and loving spirit of your relationship with your partners? He works full-time, often leaving the house at 7:45 and coming home after 5. I work part-time. He is usually out of the house a few evenings a week, too, whether for sports or visiting with friends. We have one full weekend day together, due to overlapping work schedules. He likes to go to bed late and sleep in as late as possible, I like to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. It seems like there's so little time for us together! I know we need a date (we haven't had one since she was born...yikes...), and we're working on that. I'm thinking of trying to suggest playing more games together (we like cribbage and backgammon)...but what else, what else? Also, I want someone to tell me this is normal, that it's one of the challenges of parenting, that it'll get better. But for now, I miss him...
Thanks for any thoughts.