fully-clothed time

[anarchamom]

My little one is 2 and half now and has been ECed basically since birth. He has pooped in the potty consistently since 5 months and it took us much longer to get most pees in the potty. Now he can basically get himself to the potty or the yard without direction if he is naked from the waist down. if he has on pants/underwear/training pants/diaper he'll just pee in whatever he is wearing and say nothing about it. Occasionally he will pull his own pants down or tell us that he needs help with it. He always tells us he needs to poop, but usually just pees in his pants. If we are at home I usually let him go without pants, but we do have to leave the house occasionally. 

he is pretty unimpressed with his "big kid" underwear and training pants. he will pee in them just like he is wearing a diaper. the sensation of wet clothes doesn't bother him.

we try to keep an eye out for his signals, but he is just too active and independent for us to take him to the potty every time we think he needs to pee. 

I just can't figure out how to get past this. He knows what to do if he is naked, but he can't always be naked.

I would appreciate any suggestions. thanks

[Cynthia Mosher]

I don't have any suggestions but I saw your post and thought I'd bump it up for attention. 

[skycheattraffic]

Having clothing on can feel a bit like a diaper and many kids tune out the sensations much more easily when dressed than naked. Even with conventional potty training, making the leap from naked to clothing is a difficult one. One strategy many (but of course not all) parents have luck with is using timing. Since he is doing well naked, you probably have a good idea of his timing. Take him to the potty (or tell him to go depending on his preference/skill) at transition times (wake up, before or after meals, before leaving current location, bath time, and bedtime) and any other time when it's been an hour or two (depending on how long he holds it). I wouldn't interrupt a specific activity but take him right after he is about to move on to something else. I would also keep things near the potty to keep him occupied for a couple of minutes (long enough to relax and go) or even hang out and sing songs or read a book or something. Kids this age are often too busy or engaged to go on their own and cloth on the bum feels like the diaper they have used in the past. It's an intense time but if you want to cut back on accidents, you will have to provide support until he is ready to take on initiating himself when clothed. Some parents have success using a timer so it isn't mom interrupting but an impartial outside source signaling when it's time to potty.

Sorry it's taken me a while to respond and it may be a little all over the place. I have a 15 month old little streaker who does great at EC when she's sleeping but daytime is usually me chasing a bare bum with a diaper lol. Good luck, I hope you find something helpful :-)

[seraf]

Split pants might be a good solution for now.  He can go just by squatting onto the potty, without asking or needing to pull his pants down.  There are some more discreet ones.

Otherwise sweat pants are nice for kids who don't mind wet diapers.  Their whole leg gets wet.  They're easy to change and you can talk to him about telling you or pulling them down.

[kimkim]

No advice but just saying were in the same boat. My 25 mo old if bottomless will tell me age needs to go. The second any bottoms/undies/diaper are on she doesn't warn me or tell me. So if were home we're good but out and about she blows through her diapers. We offer a lot of bottomless time before getting into the car and lately she prefers peeing on concrete even if there are grass and trees nearby.
I have no idea how this will go when its cold enough to not be bare bottomed all the time.


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[kimkim]

How's it going anarchamom? No change here. When she's bottomless she takes herself to the potty but if I ask she says no. If she has anything on her bottom she doesn't tell me until it's too late...

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[anarchamom]

eh, it's going a little better, but I think that's only because he can hold it longer now. he will still wet his pants and ignore it. and i think i've been driving him crazy asking and reminding him to use the potty.  he wears underwear most of the time when we are out, but i always take at least 2 changes of clothes.

i had already tried most or all of the suggestions that people offered here. (not that i didn't appreciate the advice) i'm at a loss. i just don't know what to do. i'm wondering if i just have to wait it out. 

something i have thought about doing is making going to the potty and changing his wet clothes his responsibility. not that i wouldn't help him, but i want him to initiate and get a better sense of how he can avoid having to change his pants so often. i sort of do this now, but not totally. when i notice that his pants are wet i tell him that he needs to take them off and put them in the hamper. i don't know if this makes any difference though.

[kimkim]

I feel like I annoy myself suggesting all day to try to go pee! I think the outside world is too distracting and maybe she's uncomfortable asking for a potty in public? Idk but if I have amy progress I'll let you know.

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[anarchamom]

Well, I think we made a little progress so I thought I should share it. A few weeks ago I decided I had to figure out a way to give him more independence and autonomy around the potty. So, one morning when most of his underwear and training pants were clean I put them all in a stack and put them in a place (back of bathroom toilet) where he could get them himself. I told him that when he needed wet pants he could get himself a pair of dry pants from the bathroom and put his wet underpants in the hamper. And I decided to stop asking him if he needed to potty. I made exceptions for when we were about to get in the car and go somewhere or right before bedtime. This really made a difference.

He isn't totally independent and we still have many days where we go through 6 pairs of pants and underwear in a day. But there have been changes. He wants his pants off as soon as he wets them, he goes to get dry underwear on his own, and he takes himself to the bathroom more often even when we he's wearing clothes. He can stay dry for several hours when we are out. And I'm much less stressed out about the whole thing. I finally feel like we are moving in the right direction rather than spinning our wheels and just getting frustrated.

I don't know if this will help anyone, but I thought I would share.