Weekly Chat - July 9-15 « Back to Group Discussions

[help007]

Hello, Friends!

I love it when laziness pays off. I felt bad for driving the 1/2 mile to the rec center for my boys' swim lessons. However, the total downpour during and after lessons has been crazy! I was really, really glad we only had to wade through the parking lot.

I love seeing all the topical threads as we get closer and closer! I have never really felt a nesting instinct as much as most people I hear about- I tend to feel like everything will sort itself out just fine. I know logically, though, that a freezer full of food and an organized space can make everything a lot calmer.

I hope you are all feeling okay!

[amysue]

Once again I've let myself get behind reading/posting on these.  I will again promise to do better this week. 

This weekend, I plan to get the baby's room taped and ready to paint.  If I do really good, maybe I"ll get it painted too! 

I can't believe I'll be 32 weeks on Wednesday, this has sure gone by fast, but it still seems like I have so far to go.  I've finally hit that point that no matter how I sit, lay, or stand, I'm uncomfortable.  It feels like baby is laying sideways down low and it's just uncomfortable.  I think I'll ask the Dr. tomorrow if he can tell the baby's position.  I'm a bigger girl, so I started with some extra in the belly area, so I'm not sure if he will be able to tell or not.  I'd imagine I'll have another ultrasound before too long, but he hasn't said anything and if he doesn't feel it's necessary, I'm not going to ask for one. 

[AnyaRose]

I've been feeling great! I went to my midwife's today and she gave me an US... She said something looked abnormal with my son's brain. There is too much liquid in the left ventricle so we have to do a Level II ultrasound to see what is wrong. I read up on this online and it seems it is often a false alarm, but it could lead to brain damage. Talk about making me worry... I should find out soon though. Anyone ever heard of this?

[judybean]

Help007 -- I've never really felt a nesting instinct so much as time crunch sense of urgency because of so many kids and knowing I won't be getting as much done after baby gets here (and I do 90%+ of housework ... it's the way it works here and I like being in charge... knowing I have to lay back and take it easy is a challenge, so I really want things in order before I let others take roles!). Plus, more kids equals more stuff. It just does. And we really don't live in a big house (technically a 3br, 1.75 bath, 2100sq ft house)... especially for *gasp* SEVEN (to be) people! I just really want to pare down. .... but, the blasted forecast is for 100*+ temps most of the week. Ugh.

With the temps so.high (and not cooling down as much the hotter it gets), I'm *really* having a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. Which makes for long, tired & grumpy days! Boo! But... I really have gotren a lot of sewing done and I'm working on cleaning up the family room in the basement (the girls pretty much have free reign there and it's a disasrer) and I've done a lot in the laundry room too!

I'm just glad MIL invited us over for lunch today and dinner tonight (a BIL -- he's a priest -- is visiting for the week)... that means I don't have to cook! I'm ALL about that

[Yeeska]

I wanted to share this very amusing article a friend posted on FB

http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2012/7/6/monkey-baby.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PregnantChicken+%28Pregnant+Chicken%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

[MamanFrancaise]

Yeeska, that was pretty funny. LOL

On Saturday, my BFF who was 11 weeks pregnant was frantic because she started bleeding. Yesterday, she had officially lost the baby. Today she got a D&C. 

I don't know what to do. I've been a basket case, non-stop crying. I feel awful for her and so, so guilty for being pregnant. Also, she is throwing me a shower with 30 RSVP'd guests next Sunday. I feel like that is just a slap in her face. Should I just tell her not to worry about it? That I will handle everything? I wanted to postpone but that won't work given we coordinated it for this coming weekend to accommodate most of the people I know who couldn't make it later in the summer.

I want to take all the burden off her but would she want that? I have absolutely no experience with miscarriage so I do not know what she's going through. I'm finding it very difficult to do/say the right things. Ugh. It's just not fair. I hate that this happened to her. 

[Carlin]

Aww, MamanFrancaise, I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. Other than one very early chemical pregnancy, I don't have much personal experience with miscarriage, but I can share what my SIL told me when we got pregnant and they had been trying to conceivefor over 2 years and had a number of losses. Basically, she felt that even though she was sad that they weren't pregnant too, she was still very happy for us and we shouldn't feel guilty about it. I guess my best advise is just to ask your friend if she still wants to be involved in the shower or if she needs a little time to grieve first. Let her know that you totally understand either way and just don't want to make things any harder for her. I think it really helps to have someone acknowledge your loss after a miscarriage. So many people don't know how to act and kind of pretend it never happened. I'm sure just letting her know you are thinking of her will help immensely.

Amysue, Have you checked out www.spinningbabies.com ? It has great resources for baby positioning. I'm sure 32 weeks is still too early to worry about baby turning or not, but if you can convince your little one to get into a more comfortable position for you, it can't hurt!

AnyaRose, Sorry, I have  no information for you. but I'll be thinking of you and Nico! I've definitely heard of excess fluid build up around the brain, but it seems like it can range from a very serious complication to a total false alarm, just as you said. Hopefully you get clarification and a clean bill of health for Nico very soon so you can stop worrying. I think you've been through enough this pregnancy without adding any additional worry!

Judybean, I'm with you on the nesting. I have a very strong urge to clean and declutter, but it's been to flippin' hot for the last few days to do anything. Our basement is usually my husband's domain (he's a musician so has all his stuff set up down there) but I think I'm going to tackle it tomorrow just to give us a place to get out of the heat.

AFM, I'm hot, tired, grumpy from lack of sleep, my house is a total disaster, my feet are swelling, and best of all, my thighs are chafing. lol. I know what we are dealing with here is nothing compared to the heat some of you have been experiencing, but we have no AC and I'm just not dealing well with temps in the 95+ range. What I have the most problem with is that it's staying so hot at night. It's almost 7PM and it's still over 90F. That's way too hot for this northern girl. I'm trying to decide if it's worth cleaning out the spare room so we can sleep in the basement tonight, but I went down there earlier and for some reason there's a bunch of sawdust on the bed and I don't really want to deal with that right now. So, basically what it comes down to is I'm whining. lol. On the bright side the rolling black outs that we're supposed to be having haven't hit us yet, so at least our fan is still running.

Babywise, I think everthing's good. S/he switched positions again so I'm not feeling as much movement as I was a few days ago, but still enough to be reassuring. I'm really working on staying hydrated, to try to limit the braxton hicks and the swelling. Otherwise just chugging along and just a couple days until 30 weeks!

[MissE]

@AnyaRose: My thoughts are with you. Do you know when your ultrasound will be? I sure hope it's only a false alarm but I can totally see where you would worry. I would too.

As for nesting: I have been nesting all weekend long, did the bedroom, bathroom, living room, laundry, ironing etc. Luckily we had a lot of rain so I didn't feel like we had to go out in the pool or anything. I washed the carseat covers earlier but didn't do a whole more nesting today. I started to finally sew some wipes too but only made four so far. Too lazy for that and I never have the time to sit down long enough.

@Carlin: I honestly don't know how you can cope with the heat. We're spoiled down here with our AC, really. Just going grocery shopping has me leaking sweat out of every pore.

[judybean]

MamanFrancaise -- Carlin stated it all very well, I think. Ask her what she would prefer... because who kniws what frame of mind she's in. I know that for myself, I personally would not be able to host a baby shower. Last year, after my loss at eight weeks, I was a wreck. And while I was still happy fir my pregnant friends (and I had three), I have to admit that I was also jealous and sad not to be within their ranks anymore. I think it is also *sooooo* important to acknowledge the miscarriage. For me, while nothing was ever the *right* thing to say (because nothing could lessen the hurt), to be ignored felt like I was some sort of disease-ridden contagious person ... like miscarriage was contagious. And that left me with the worst feelings. A hug, shared tears, and room to talk if I wanted were all that I needed.

Carlin -- the week's forecast here is 100*+ everyday ... a day in the 90*s seems like a rare treat lately... and, having no AC either, I completely sympathize. It's miserable. And hard to want to do ANYTHING! !

Anya -- i will keep you and Nico in my.thoughts and prayers!

On Saturday I'll be 32 weeks! Eek! So much to do, too few cool days to do it!

[Flower of Bliss]

I nest much like JudyBean said.  It's not a big nesting urge, it's an urgency to get things done before I enter the newborn phase with a whole new little person.  I feel a time crunch to get things done now that I know I'll need done before the baby arrives.  We spent the weekend as well as Wed/Thurs working on clearing out the guest room and the garage.  Our garage looks much better now.  It's not perfect, but we can now access what we need too, and we could definitely put a freezer in there.  A few weeks ago it just looked like a garbage dump.  Our guest room is in much better shape too.  I need to finish cleaning out that closet and find new homes for everything we're keeping, then we can start moving DD1's things into there   I'm hoping to wrap up the guest room this week, and then we'll move onto clearing out the dressers and random clutter in our master bedroom.  The weekend of the 21st my mom and stepfather are coming to help move furniture, put together new dressers for our master and DD1's new room, hang curtains, etc.  I'm so happy to be really moving forward on all of that. 

I'm still chugging along on DD1's kindergarten home school work (which we started in March/April after pulling her out of a Waldorf kinder).  It's so fun watching her learn so much.  She's starting to really read, and she's really into numbers and math, and we've just finished up a unit on habitats and are moving on to a unit on weather.  We're on target to finish up shortly before Vella is born, but we don't have much wiggle room.  Then we'll take off until after the holidays, and pick up on 1st grade in January.  I'm feeling pretty good about where all of that stands too.

Both of my girls have mid-August birthdays.  We finally settled on doing a joint birthday party for them at our small Children's Museum the weekend between their birthdays.  I'll be 35.5 weeks at the party.  I need to move forward on planning that and figuring out birthday presents that don't cost a fortune or add much clutter, but still feel special.  Neither of my girls are very materialistic, and neither has made any real birthday requests, but I'm struggling with making sure DD2 doesn't get lost in the middle here.  DD1 needs new clothes for fall, she's getting a new room set up, and she's hitting new development phases, so toys and books and such are sort of needed.  DD2 needs no clothes or toys or books, and she's already settled in a room that's already set up...  Then there's getting the new car seat and stroller for the baby and we'll be setting up stuff for the baby.  She's already asking what about me sorts of questions   She's such a wonderful sweet child, and she's so very important to me.  She's super excited about the baby, and she and DD1 are very close.

[Ava's Mama]

Maman re miscarriage - I had a miscarriage last June, lost a lot of blood and took a while to recover. I agree that you should ask her what she wants. It may be therapeutic for her to be a partof your shower! Just let her know you are there for her and if she needs to take a step back you understand. I think the hardest thing about miscarriage is that no one talks about it. I had no idea until it happened to me and now I try to be very open about the subject because I would rather people be prepared or familiar with it than to have no knowledge at all.

I am feeling great! 32 weeks on Friday. I have a midwife appt today

[Jend1002]

AnyaRose - I am keeping you in my thoughts - even though it's likely a false alarm, it's terrible to have to wait and worry.  I hope you get answers quickly! 

Flower of Bliss - I also just planned DS's birthday - it's at a small children's museum.  His birthday is right after this baby will be born.  I needed to feel like that was booked and ready to go.  I am having everything done by the museum so we can just show up! 

Nesting - I still don't get to do anything because we are moving on Sept. 1. All baby stuff is in the garage and I can't see bringing anything out and prepping even though I have the urge.  My nesting urge is far less this time around though, which I guess is a good thing!

I failed my 1 hour glucose test today.  I am really bummed.  I seriously considered monitoring my own blood sugar over the 3 hour but I just want to get it over with. My Dr. wanted me to monitor for 2 weeks and I just don't have it in me.  So Friday I will endure the 3 hour and hope for the best.  I also tested low iron today as well.  I'd prefer to up my iron intake without supplementation so I am giving that a try - but I am a vegetarian so I really need to make an effort.  

[Worldshakerz]

Anya, its not fun to have to worry/wait with something like that. I hope you get your ultrasound soon so you don't have to wonder and stress about it. 

Jend, I also just found out I failed my 1 hour GTT and I am feeling very bummed out too. It was 149 so I don't think its really too bad. But I had tried to do an alternative to the test and eat a meal before the blood draw - I was able to do that with my last pregnancy. I just don't handle high carbs well, whether pregnant or not. I have never been diabetic but I have always been sensitive to carbs and only lose weight/maintain weight loss with a lower carb diet. My midwife had me eat a candy bar instead of the sugary drink. *Sigh*. She had her reasons for not wanting me to do the meal and I didn't feel like arguing but now I'm wishing I did. 

[Jend1002]

Sorry Worldshakerz!  I guess you never know what would have happened if you had tried the meal instead.  What a bummer.  I drank that awful orange stuff and had a 175!  No denying my test results I guess.  My DH is also very sensitive to carbs - I think he was gagging as I drank my lovely glucose.  I hope you have better results with your next test, which ever way you end up going!  Sounds like you are low enough to expect to do fine! 

[Monkey Keeper]

Worldshakerz and jend1002--I too failed the 1hr GTT. My OB okayed the self monitoring, and I did a bit over a week's worth of monitoring. Unfortunately, my results aren't that great. I had lots of low numbers but quite a few above the thresholds for GD monitoring. I'm feeling like I should have just gone ahead and done the 3 hr test since it looks like I may have to end up doing it anyway. This sucks--I feel really betrayed by my body since things went so well with my last pregnancy.  :(  So glad you guys can commiserate!

[ascher21]

oops, posted this in the wrong thread today:

I'm 30 weeks today. Now it gets serious. Only 10 to go! 

I was away this weekend for my 5-year anniversary. We spent a night in Key Largo. DH was able to snag a free room at the Hilton with some points he had, and it was right on the beach, so we got to spend some time in the sea. It was lovely. I did become rather self-conscious of how many times I pee these days, and how often I eat. It was annoying. Now I have the feeling to go every time I stand up. Every time. I think I felt hiccups a couple times over the weekend, which is good because he's exercising his lungs. Mostly I've just been enjoying how mellow I feel. 

I think I did a lot of my nesting early on, so I don't have much left to do besides decorations in the baby room and moving the furniture over in our bedroom to make room for the birth pool and eventually the glider. I guess I don't get as excited about nesting because we're renting, and I can't paint or do too much. I never get overly excited design-wise when I rent. When I owned, that was a different story.

MamanFrancaise--yes, I would let her know that it's perfectly alright if she doesn't feel up to being at the shower or working on it anymore. It's totally understandable if she doesn't. But she needs to be given a choice or else she may feel obligated beyond her comfort level. I totally feel for her and the importance of working through such a loss, but a shower might not be the best place for her (and it might make things very awkward for you). Especially if everything is geared towards celebrating a pregnancy and she is constantly reminded of it. I hope your feeling of guilt subsides soon, because you don't need to feel guilty for your own pregnancy, although it shows what a caring friend you are, and we would all feel the same way, I'm sure.

Anya--I hope you find out something soon and that it's not anything serious.

GD tests--wow, I know a lot of people who fail the one-hour. I guess it sorta makes you wonder...shouldn't they change the test if so many people are failing??

[judybean]

The best part of a big belly is that it starts making other parts look.small Being not a small person ever, it's just a nice feeling. And my 5'11" frame carries things well I think .... and another boost? A friend who just had a baby last week or so, gave me all her maternity clothes (she is done forever she said!) And some are a size smaller than I normally wear, but they fit! And they're cute! And new maternity clothing makes a world of difference from the same ol duds!

[Monkey Keeper]

GD tests--wow, I know a lot of people who fail the one-hour. I guess it sorta makes you wonder...shouldn't they change the test if so many people are failing??

They actually DID just change the cut-off for the 1 hour--to make it lower! They want to catch as many people with the screening as they can; otherwise they risk missing people who actually have GD with a "false" negative on the screening. Which means more people who fail the  1 hr but pass the 3 hour...

[beans]

AnyaRose - keep us posted. I hope everything turns out worry-free.

MamanF - I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. I imagine you're feeling some sort of "survivor guilt". I think the other gals have said exactly the right stuff.

Carlin, judybean, and probably most everyone else- it has been HOT here as well. We went out of town last week and it was even hotter! If we did not have a/c I would not only not accomplish anything, but I'd also be in big trouble since I'd turn into a terrible mother/person. I thought I loved heat, but I realize I didn't really know what sustained heat meant!

ascher- happy anniversary! I'm getting self-conscious about the amount of peeing I do as well. I am at the back of our office space, so need to walk past lots of people to go to the bathroom about every hour. Plus we had in-laws camp out on our living room floor last night and I had to warn them that I'd be up every hour to pee. Sure enough, I was up 4-5 times (I lost count) and had to debate with myself every time- flush or don't flush. Ugh. I have to go now just typing about it.

I was thinking about something someone, Hyde?, wrote last week: the reality that at the end of this pregnancy game, you get to keep a baby to raise for the rest of your life. With #1 I remember being so blissed out post-birth and feeling thrilled with our baby and ourselves and totally confident in the hospital- like ok nurse, you can knock off all the how to crap, I've obviously read plenty and am an expert.

When we got in the car to go home we drove 35 miles an hour on the highway (so dangerous, but we were scared to go faster!) and were like, whose got us on candid camera? Are they really letting us take this baby home with us to take care of? Don't they send a nurse home with us? We're not responsible enough to do this!!!

Even though this is #4- or maybe because of it- I've barely spent a second thinking about the fact that we'll be having another baby. There's so much to do with work and the house and the other three. I know the baby is safe and growing, so I don't need to think too much about him yet. Then I stop and realize, WAIT! he's coming SOON. I need to get some stuff ready- like get a diaper and wash a onesie- I have done so little. Poor neglected #4. It'll all come together in a frantic rush in about a month!

I did score an ergo from craigslist last night, so see, I do sometimes think about preparing!

[MamanFrancaise]

Thanks for all the advice, mamas. She is doing better now. She said accepting the reality of what just happened is what she's going through right now... I will talk to her tonight about the shower.

ascher - I feel like I have to pee every time I stand up, too. And so I go and half a teaspoon comes out. Grrr.