Dirty Looks - Page 2

[mleawicks]

Originally Posted by humboldtorganic 

I too have got some strange looks. Mostly I get comments from my family like "you know thats why her legs are bowed, right?" or "she is so attached to you" (like that is a bad thing... i finally said "oh, you think we have a good attachment? well thank you!" ...I didnt hear that one again).

Also as soon as we get into my MIL house, the first thing she says is "why dont you put her down!". She also says things like, "it looks so weird when people carry their kids that are 2 years old, their legs are so long and are just dangling there." I secrectly think she regrets not carrying her kids more.

Its funny, all the rude comments come from family and all the positive comments come from strangers.

I remember my sibs saying not to carry there kids when they wanted to be held. oh the insecurities in my family........how much better they would all be if someone had held them when they needed it.

[mleawicks]

on diff subject yet same.. a friends was telling us he was in mall the other day.. food court... someone was BF and people were giving dirty looks. Boy wish I had been there to see it. I would have sat down next to her and whipped it out and jioned her  just to make a point.how about a BF marithon to make a point to the world. like the colth diaper one just brfore my kid was born

[diana_of_the_dunes]

Originally Posted by humboldtorganic 

Its funny, all the rude comments come from family and all the positive comments come from strangers.

No kidding.  My ILs used to make comments about how we picked up DS every time he cried, or that we "never" put him down (uh, on your nasty, dirty floors?  No thanks!), or how he was too big or old to be carried so much.  I would just say, "I've never heard anyone say that they wished they'd held their babies *less*.  Pretty soon, he won't let me hold him, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can!"  And it's so true.  DS wanted to walk instead of riding in the carrier at about 2 years old, and now I can only wear him on hikes when he gets tired.

[Sharlla]

i had a lot and i mean A LOT of negativity with babywearing when ds2 was a baby (one lady approachd me and basically accused me of child abuse because DS2 was sleeping on my back on a hot day) but never with DD. maybe it's becoming more common around here because i see mamas babywearing all the time now but 7 years ago that wasnt the case.

[element2012]

Babywearing isn't big here at all, I've only ever seen a few "crotch danglers" out and about. The reaction I always get is passerby swooning over the cute baby in an unexpected place.  But yes, many of these comments sound like they come from women who regret not carrying their babies more.

[Mommel]

I may have gotten dirty looks without realizing it, but I just don't pay much attention... as for comments, people here in the northwest seem less direct and more passive-aggressive than what I'm used to from the northeast. I BW my 11 mo. old and have started to get, "Isn't he too heavy for you?" Even my mother has started asking me that. Ugh. The answer is always no. Sometimes I educate, but most of the time I just give the short answer. 

[proudMoMmy2634]

I had not experienced the dirty looks but most of the time curious look...some amaze and other is just plain looking. 

But I had received comment twice, but the second one irritated me.. They ask if my DD was comfortable in it (as if they are accusing me of something) and my DD was sleeping soundly when I was ask so I was irritated...."HELLO PEOPLe!! I wont put my baby in a carrier and she wont sleep that way if he is not comfortable,....!!!!

[MidnightCommando]

i'm so disheartened hearing of everyone's trouble with BW in public.  It really shocked me reading these posts since I have never received anything but positivity when wearing both of my kiddos.  Not long ago I had an elderly woman at Fred Meyer approach me and tell me she's glad to see women are carrying their babes again.  I have no advice but just wanted to say I'm sorry you all are experiencing this ignorance.

[Asiago]

I thought of this thread yesterday as I received a chilly reception at the check out of Whole Foods while wearing my toddler. He was in a ring sling in a hip carry.

The cashier and bagger stared, didn't greet, not a single word. Finally I broke the silence and greeted them. It was really awkward especially since I see them regularly and they usually greet. I haven't had my son in the sling at Whole Foods lately though, but yesterday I didn't need a cart.

[Mommel]

It makes me sad too... honestly, for every weird comment I've gotten, I get ten or more positive ones. I get a lot from men too... some of them borderline inappropriate, mind you... like, "I wish that was me in that carrier" and "he's got the best spot in the house", and "he's so cute, just like his mama *wink*", but a lot of them are sweet too. I also get a lot of people who are originally from other places like Mexico or Africa, or even Russia and the Ukraine, who say things to me like, "You remind me of my country with your baby like that" and we get lots of warm smiles and people waving hello to my kiddo as he looks around. Also, I smile a LOT when I'm out and about... it tends to dissuade dirty looks. I try to just think about what a sad, sad life people must have if giving me a dirty look for BWing is the most satisfying thing they could think to do at that moment. :)

[EcoConsciousMom]

Originally Posted by mleawicks 

Oh WOW you too. people are always telling me why they eat meat. I think sooo I didn't ask you to justify yourself for eating something I don't. Gee I don't justify eating a vegetable that most people hate. I just eat it.

Completely off topic, but I'm assuming your a vegetarian or vegan. I was once in a restaurant where the waitress was a vegetarian. I choose to not eat anything with hydrogenated oils for my health, so I always have to ask what ingredients are used and I say "I'm on a medical diet." It helps people not fake things with me for fear of a lawsuit. Anyways, she said that once she had ordered a vegetarian pizza and they brought it with pepperoni. She said "I'm a vegetarian, please take this back." They returned with the same pizza! They just removed the pepperoni - she still could see the grease stains. She said she would say "I'm on a medical diet" in the future as obviously not everyone is considerate enough of her choices. Thought this might help you if you ever had/have any bad experiences like this waitress.

Originally Posted by MidnightCommando 

i'm so disheartened hearing of everyone's trouble with BW in public.  It really shocked me reading these posts since I have never received anything but positivity when wearing both of my kiddos.  Not long ago I had an elderly woman at Fred Meyer approach me and tell me she's glad to see women are carrying their babes again.  I have no advice but just wanted to say I'm sorry you all are experiencing this ignorance.

Me too, but in regards to breastfeeding. I am very discreet in public so I don't think many notice. I hate hearing about others having trouble in public. But a few months ago at a very large family get together I started breastfeeding my daughter (covered) and my grandmother said how proud she was of me for doing that. I think I was the only granddaughter who chose to BF. Every time she sees me she asks and smiles that I'm still doing it. Some older women are so accepting.

Originally Posted by Asiago 

I thought of this thread yesterday as I received a chilly reception at the check out of Whole Foods while wearing my toddler. He was in a ring sling in a hip carry.

The cashier and bagger stared, didn't greet, not a single word. Finally I broke the silence and greeted them. It was really awkward especially since I see them regularly and they usually greet. I haven't had my son in the sling at Whole Foods lately though, but yesterday I didn't need a cart.

That's so sad. I love Whole Foods and they are so open to what's natural and alternative. That really surprises me. 

Originally Posted by Mommel 

It makes me sad too... honestly, for every weird comment I've gotten, I get ten or more positive ones. I get a lot from men too... some of them borderline inappropriate, mind you... like, "I wish that was me in that carrier" and "he's got the best spot in the house", and "he's so cute, just like his mama *wink*", but a lot of them are sweet too. I also get a lot of people who are originally from other places like Mexico or Africa, or even Russia and the Ukraine, who say things to me like, "You remind me of my country with your baby like that" and we get lots of warm smiles and people waving hello to my kiddo as he looks around. Also, I smile a LOT when I'm out and about... it tends to dissuade dirty looks. I try to just think about what a sad, sad life people must have if giving me a dirty look for BWing is the most satisfying thing they could think to do at that moment. :)

I'm in a similar boat. I live in Southern California and I think where you live really makes a difference in how you are treated. Everyone is very liberal and multicultural around here.

FYI: My first "multi" quote post, wanted to try it out. :)

[Christine08]

I've worn both my 4 year old and 2 year old in an ergo recently (they are small for their ages..but still).  I was out at home improvement stores and hiking on the beach. I didn't notice any dirty looks.  Honestly, I am so distracted I might not notice. But it would bother me even though I hate to admit it. 

[Asiago]

Originally Posted by Asiago 

I thought of this thread yesterday as I received a chilly reception at the check out of Whole Foods while wearing my toddler. He was in a ring sling in a hip carry.

The cashier and bagger stared, didn't greet, not a single word. Finally I broke the silence and greeted them. It was really awkward especially since I see them regularly and they usually greet. I haven't had my son in the sling at Whole Foods lately though, but yesterday I didn't need a cart.

Just to counter my last reply.....was at the airport a week ago and my son was calm and content as we went through security. I held him in arms, as I had to run my ring sling through the scanner. When I got to the end, as I awaited my scanned items and then I took my sling, one of the employees said "Oh! That's why he is so content!". She immediately recognized a sling. It was very gratifiying

[sassyfirechick]

Originally Posted by Alphaghetti 

Yuck. I have had comments, but no outright dirty looks. I have been told that my baby can't breathe when they were slinged, and one time at the grocery store when I had ds in his ergo, some woman with a school aged child said, "oh for the love of god...here, billy, hop up on mommy's back and let me do all the walking for you. How ridiculous!"

LOLOL wow, I would have turned around and had words with that one!!

I have to say I've never gotten a dirty look.  Lots of smiling and 'oooh look a baby', lots of people comment on great it is for me to be hands free or how they loved using various carriers when they had babies.  I think I was more attractive to the loonies when I would leave her in her infant carseat and put that on the carriage at stores! 

[MrsKoehn]

Originally Posted by Mommel 

It makes me sad too... honestly, for every weird comment I've gotten, I get ten or more positive ones. I get a lot from men too... some of them borderline inappropriate, mind you... like, "I wish that was me in that carrier" and "he's got the best spot in the house", and "he's so cute, just like his mama *wink*", but a lot of them are sweet too. I also get a lot of people who are originally from other places like Mexico or Africa, or even Russia and the Ukraine, who say things to me like, "You remind me of my country with your baby like that" and we get lots of warm smiles and people waving hello to my kiddo as he looks around. Also, I smile a LOT when I'm out and about... it tends to dissuade dirty looks. I try to just think about what a sad, sad life people must have if giving me a dirty look for BWing is the most satisfying thing they could think to do at that moment. :)

I haven't got my baby in my arms/sling yet but I am so ready to try it out! I would make a comment about baby actually looking more like hubby to guys like that. It's SUCH a turn off.

There's a lot of Russians and Mexicans here, wonder how it'll be.

Originally Posted by Asiago 

Just to counter my last reply.....was at the airport a week ago and my son was calm and content as we went through security. I held him in arms, as I had to run my ring sling through the scanner. When I got to the end, as I awaited my scanned items and then I took my sling, one of the employees said "Oh! That's why he is so content!". She immediately recognized a sling. It was very gratifying

That's cool!

I've seen two ladies here wearing babies in the 4 yrs I've been here. Don't think I saw any in KY, OK or TX the total 28 years I lived there. Mom carried us in an old thing some, but mostly when hiking. The ladies I have seen here, one was tandem carrying toddlers last year in Safeway and the other was just last week, putting her baby in a Moby in the parking lot of Walmart. Didn't get to see her face, but I was hoping I could see her in the store. Guess we were after different stuff.