Headstart or not?

[StephManietta]

Hi everyone!

I am looking for some guidance here. I have tried concidering all the pros and cons, and have gotten nowhere. I will start with some background information.

I am a single mom of four wonderful, challanging kids.

My oldest is 8, dx'd at 4 with ADHD and ODD, I suspect he has Aspergurs though and am working on the evals.

5 year old DS, very energetic and super curious, 4 year old DS X30 weeker, recently dx'd with epilepcy for PVL. Starting PT, OT, and ST in the next few weeks. And 3year old DD X 28 weeker, Doing great, no major issues.

School starts in about 6 weeks and I am so torn with what to do about my 4 year old DS. The two older kids will be starting in public school, something I am not thrilled about. I am concidering placing DD in the Headstart program. She was a preemie, and giving her as much help as possible before school starts seems reasonable.

But my DS seems so frail and fragile. He has always been "behind" he is teeny tiny compared to other kids his age, and now with the seizures I am terrified to let him out of my sight. I know that school will be a struggle for him. He has already been dx'd with ADHD, he gets VERY aggressive, he doesnt talk well, he is very hard to understand and gets frustrated very easily.

HE is super smart, knows all his letters and most of the sounds, but socially he has a hard time.

On one hand I think if the older kids were in school, and the baby in Headstart, that would give me more time with him, I could get him to his therapy without having to get childcare for the baby, and could spend more time working with him on his other issues.

But on the other hand, If he went to Headstart also the therapy would be done there, and he could get some of the socialization that he struggles with, and that would give me a few hours a day to do the stuff I havent been able to do for so long.

I adore my kids. They are my world, but sometimes I feel like I am going to go crazy with ALL FOUR of them ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes it feels like its all just too much.  I dont really have a support system, I just moved all the way across the country and know almost know one here.

Any thoughts? I would love to here what you guys think.

[anj_rn]

Wow, that is a difficult question.  I would say try headstart, if it does not work for you then pull him out.  I was amazed at how much group work and partner work was required in Kinder.  I was definitely a challenge for us, so I would say try for the socialization.

[~cassie~]

I would try Headstart or see if he is eligible for public special ed prek.  We have both here and the Headstart here wasn't great for special needs kids.  We went with our local prek(he was in special ed for age 3, then mainstream age 4) and they were awesome!  The teachers worked with him so much and just made a big difference.  I was scared to death to let him out of my site, fear they wouldn't know what he needed since I am the one that truly knew hime, but I found that they were able to get to know him, meet his needs, and make a huge difference for him.  Give it a shot, you can always pull out if it isn't working.