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Bi-weekly chat thread (thru 7/22)

post #1 of 54
Thread Starter 

I am going ahead and making these threads bi-weekly since I seem to be bad about starting a new one every week. :-)


So far it sounds like the October moon is going to be our pic. Feel free to offer any other opinions. But if I don't hear otherwise, I think I'll go ahead and change it tomorrow. So be on the lookout for our new icon, in case that is how you find our group on the list. :-)


Question: Are you planning any more kids after this baby?


This is most likely our last baby, unless we end up with some miracle surprise later. DH and I were on the fence between 2 and 3. But  now that we know what kind of infertility we have and after having gone through almost 2 yrs of trying and eventually doing IVF, we are definitely done after 2! There is no way I could go through the stress and emotional turmoil of that again in a few years from now when our odds of success would be even lower. Not to mention the money. So it looks like our minds have been made up for us. But I think logically we probably would have stopped after 2 anyway since we live in a crazy high cost of living area and houses are small and super pricey here. And eventually I should probably go back to work so we can retire!


AFM: I am super excited. My friend just had her sweet baby boy today! She was in my birth class with my daughter. Her daughter is 10 days older than mine. We've been hanging out a lot lately and letting the girls play. She used the same midwife I am using. She went 12 days late but managed to have him at home, as planned. Last time she tried to birth at the birth center but ended up with a forceps delivery in the hospital after being in labor for 3 days! I can't wait to meet him! I think reality might really sink in (about my baby) when I get to hold a brand new baby again!!



post #2 of 54

Question: Are you planning any more kids after this baby?


Cindy, I think we are probably done as well.  However, we have tendency to have accidents, as DS was conceived when I was on the pill.  Unless DH stays true to his plans to get a vasectomy (he has plans to have it done, but let's just say that probably won't be his TOP priority, as he'll have a new little one to take care of, along with DS), I think we may at least have to be open to the possibility of having another 'surprise' (I can imagine him scrambling to call Planned Parenthood to schedule his vasectomy the day after a new BFP appears).  I know what you mean about children being expensive.  Our area is notoriously expensive in terms of housing, school costs, etc.  


Also, this pregnancy has been pretty hard on my body, so I'm having a hard time looking forward to going through something like this again.  Not to mention that there's a big ladder in academia that I'd like to climb (faculty!).  We'll see, but for now, I think 2 kiddos is enough for us.

post #3 of 54

I'm not sure if we are done or not.  Part of me would love to have a big family, but then there's the other side of me that keeps whispering how it's not a good idea for us.  This pregnancy has been really hard both physically and emotionally and I know DH feels like we should be done after this for multiple reasons.  Of course, DS was a surprise baby and he wasn't all that into trying for number 2 either, but seems excited now that it's on the way.  Financially more than 2 would also be hard...especially with having to pay Waldorf school tuition and living in a super expensive area.

post #4 of 54

We're definitely planning on having a second after this baby, but I told my husband the other day that we would have to plan very carefully. No third trimester at the start of college application season again! Way too stressful, and too much income lost. It's definitely going to work out this time around, but I want to avoid this at all costs next time.


Vegan - sweet news about your friend's baby, and that she was able to have him at home. Wonderful!

post #5 of 54

This has been a difficult pregnancy for us (have been on bed rest for 3+ months already because of my pre-term labor risk). So I'd have to say it depends. If I make it to term, I might consider another one.  If this baby is born preterm, that's probably it for us, the risks are too high. 

post #6 of 54

So I met with the horrible midwife this morning and she dumped me. DH said after that appointment he wasn't comfortable with staying with this midwife practice anyways even if they had been willing to keep me as a client.  He totally confirmed my feelings about her and how negative she is...it's not just me being emotional and hormonal.  At least I can move on now and hopefully find a provider with whom I am comfortable.  The more DH and I talk about it the more we feel that this practice just has a cold feeling about it and that it's just not where we wanted to be anyways.


We've decided to do a consult with at least one of the local CPM homebirth midwives to get a second opinion and this horrible midwife referred me to a hospital based midwife practice so that might be another option.  I'm not sure how any of it will work out, but at least I don't have to deal with her anymore.


It also means I can hire the doula I really want instead of someone from their  approved list and that is a great relief.

post #7 of 54

I would like to have another after our first is born but we are unsure of what the future will will bring financially.  We used IVF to conceive this one after trying on our own for 5 years.  We do still have 5 embryos frozen, but each transfer is expensive.  If we don't end up using them our plan is to donate them to another couple who can. I always imagined I would have 2-3 kids and it will be hard to let go of that dream.  I know I should be thankful that we are even having one but...

post #8 of 54

Under - I'm so sorry about this experience with this midwifery practice. How unfortunate - and unusual, from what I understand! But I'm really glad to hear that getting away from this midwife is going to let you choose what's most comfortable for you. Hoping you find someone who's perfect for your and your husband. 


Chrisa - sending good vibes that you make it full-term! 

post #9 of 54

I'm way behind! I'm reading, but am not going to be able to post personals - sorry ladies :)


Hope everyone has a better week who needs it, and everyone else continues to feel good as we all enter the big 3rd tri!

post #10 of 54

Under- Wow. I'm so sorry that you're having such a bad time with that midwife!! She sounds awful! I'm sure that you'll find someone who fits you MUCH better and yay for being able to hire a doula of your own choosing! 


As to the question, I doubt we're done as we're both young, and seem to get pregnant on thought alone. (it's keeping the pregnancies that's the problem!) But, our plan is definitely to wait a LONG time before #3 becomes a reality. Again, not sure how we're going to manage that though...I've gotten pregnant while on the pill, and then literally the first time we decide to try for a baby ever since. It's like I ovulate the moment we decide we'd like to get pregnant. We're both pretty against hormonal birth control, and I'm weary of the IUDs because it has some ill effects that concern me though I understand the risks are very minute. And obviously, we're not ok with making the decision to be 'done' right now, so anything more drastic is out of the question. I have odd cycles, so even charting is a bit of an undertaking for us, and I doubt it would work for long. lol So lol, we'll see how long we stay at two children. Of course, we have had 6 pregnancies and will only have two children by the end of the 6th, so getting pregnant easily doesn't necessarily correlate with children for us.


Mostly, we'll have to see how drastically #2 impacts our lives. I mean, we've traveled non-stop for 3.5 years...I'm not sure that way of life is still do-able with two children...and if we're actually settling down for good, I could see the baby itch hitting after just a few years. If we're still traveling, then it just doesn't make sense for us to add to the family until we're much wealthier, or settle down by choice.

post #11 of 54

Under-- I am sorry for your stress, but it seems like finding another practitioner is going to be a better idea.  BTW- I cannot believe that she had an "approved" list of doulas!!!! What a control freak!!!  Momma's should be able to choose anyone that they want!!!!!  Prayers for you....I hope that you find somone great.  The good thing is that now is the time that you really start forming a relationship with your practitioner b/c you will start going more often.  So-- this is a good time to switch.  I haven't even met all 4 of the CNMs at our practice-- I still have 1 more to meet.  Also-- I'm jealous of the Waldorf school-- so awesome!! 


More children--- yes, we will probably have 1 more.  I always wanted 4 and this baby is going to be 6 and 10 years younger than our older boys, so I feel like I want to have one more.  BUT, I never say never and I never say definitly.  I tend to be fickle....  We'll see how sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted I am.  In addition, I am 36, so the next baby would need to come quickly.

post #12 of 54

Yeah, the approved list of doulas would be really off putting to me.  Good luck finding a better provider! 


I am planning on at least 1 more baby, probably 2.  Dh came from a family with 6 kids, my family had 4.  Big families just feel normal to us. 


As for a shower, I don't know yet, but I had one really small shower last time (1 of my friends came, and a few family members, that was it)  Most of my friends and family were really far away, so it was hard.  Back when we announced the pregnancy someone mentioned it would be fun to do a double shower with my sister who's due the same week.  I'll be a lot closer to everyone after we move, so we'll see.  2nd showers seem to be pretty common among our circle.  90% of my newborn clothes were borrowed last time anyway, because the little shower I did have was after ds was born. 


We are now 3 days away from moving day!  Lots to do still, but it feels more organized than our last couple of moves, so hopefully it doesn't get too insane.  I'm feeling pretty good for nearly 26 weeks.  I do have to take breaks, and running errands really wipes me out.  And then there are the lovely varicose veins.  The one that was really throbbing after I sang in that concert feels better, but I do a lot to avoid making them inflamed, or bringing the swelling down when they are hurting. 


I probably won't be back much until after we get established in our new house.  Wish me luck!

post #13 of 54

Good luck, indeed, Angelorum! What concert did you sing in, btw? Sounds fun! 

post #14 of 54
Thread Starter 

Good luck Angelorum!! Don't overdo it mama!!



post #15 of 54
Thread Starter 

I *love* that we have so many good threads popping up now! :-) Things are getting exciting around here!


I feel like my baby is tickling me from the inside right now. Her little hands and wiggling all over my lower abdomen! While her foot is simultaneously popping out on the top of it. :-)


I'm so thrilled! I am getting a donation of an entire freezer of breast milk. Pumped by a mama who just had twin babies as a surrogate only a few weeks ago. So it is milk meant for newborns. I just need to quickly find a deep freezer before I pick up the milk - then I know it will last 6+ months. I hope to not have to supplement this time, but I'm being realistic and know I still probably will have to. I will feel SO much better having milk on hand, if need be!! 


I also got a 2nd crib mattress today, since DD's is being used in her toddler bed. So now all the big things are checked off of my "to buy" list. I just need a few bottles, bottle brush, nipple cream, etc. Little things. But I already have them all in my cart on amazon. 



post #16 of 54

I've been reading lots on here but not doing too much typing :)

We always planned on 3 but I am not 100% sure, DS is ALOT of work so I guess we'll see how how adding #2 goes for us :) There is also the $ factor, DH is from Europe and traveling there at least once a year is important to us so we have to consider that factor as well.


I had an appointment with my midwives yesterday. We got some great news...they are going to travel to our city (only 20 min away) so that we can have a home birth.This will have to be dependant on a few things at the time I go into labor, if there is another momma in labor at the hospital or if there is crazy traffic coming our way we may need to go to the hospital but I'm ok waith having the oppertunity!


On the down side of my appointment I am measuring 3 cm too big for the 2nd time in a row and they are slightly concerned, so I am going for another ultrasound in the next week or so to make sure there are no problems. They also have asked me to eat a very healthy and low sugar diet to make sure my GD test comes back normal ( i;m sure I am fine here too)

DS was over 10 lbs and delivered with no issues so I am sure that he was the right size, no undiagnosed GD for me, I just make big babies!

post #17 of 54

That's great about your midwives traveling to you Amanda! Hope you get good results on your ultrasound!


Cindy- I'm so ENVIOUS of you being so prepared!! lol I'm literally losing my mind with not KNOWING what will be home for the birth. I know I can go ahead and start gathering what I need for the Baby now, but I have like a mental block on preparing before we're moved for the last time! Bah!


I had a pretty awful day yesterday. The baby must be sitting right on my stomach these days because I have two sensations. That of being so full I'll burst if I eat ANYTHING and that of being lightheaded with hunger. It's ridiculous...I get no notice before I'm 'too' hungry, and these drops in blood sugar are killing me because it takes like all day to recover! I think I decided after yesterday to just eat by the clock today...I'm going for every 2-3 hours, and going for snacking or light meals instead of attempting anything like a 'real' meal because my poor stomach just can't take more than a few mouthfuls at any one time :-( Anyone else dealing with this? 

post #18 of 54
Thread Starter 

Pregnova: I have had phases of feeling like that. Where I just don't eat all that much but I feel horridly full after. But it seems to come and go as baby moves around. So hopefully you'll feel better soon. And I think eating small meals every few hours is a great plan. I'm sorry you are so stressed! I would be too. I am always overprepared early on - it's just how I feel the best. But I've also had a fear that this baby is going to come even earlier than DD (she was 38 weeks) so I just want to be ready. I'm putting off buying my birth supplies though bc I feel like if I buy them too soon I will jinx myself and have the baby too early to get my homebirth.


Amanda: Hi! So wonderful that you get to try for the birth you want! I hope all is well w/baby - but yeah, sounds like you just have a very healthy kiddo in there. :-)


AFM: Just wanted to say that I've had almost no heartburn for the past week. It's so odd. It was SO bad and then it just went away! I'm sure it will be back at some point, but I'm thrilled to have a reprieve for now!


Off to go thrift storing to find "dress up" play clothes for my daughter. :-) She loved them at her cousin's house last week and requested to do this today. She's been running around in fairy wings, a tutu and all her play jewelry. I'm so glad I'm having another girl! :-)



post #19 of 54

Still trying to catch up :)


Pregnova - Sorry you're getting those feelings! Probably with the added stress and usual pregnancy stuff your getting a little more hypoglycemic a little more quickly. Definitely eat by the clock and try to stay away from high carb/sugary snacks, they will just spike and drop your blood sugar even more. Add a little protein (maybe some nuts) every time you eat to keep things a little more even keeled. Hopefully once your little one moves again soon :)


Vegan - that's great about the heartburn - hope it lasts! Isn't dress up so cute! DS loves putting on his jammies with his undies over top then putting on cape so he can be a super-hero - I love the imagination!


Amanda - that sounds really great that they are going to try to get out to you! At least you can plan for both home/hospital and be prepared for either. Good luck with your follow-up, sounds like you just grow big babies!!


Angel - good luck on the move!


Not to much exciting here, feeling really good actually. Working out is really important I'm realizing - a couple of days without a walk or exercise/stretching and my back and hips start to complain. It totally makes a difference for sleeping too. A nice walk before bed, a good snack and I can sleep pretty well. Sometimes I wake at 3 for no reason, but I've learned that a snack always gets me back to sleep quicker, so I keep one by the bed just in case.


Happy almost weekend!

post #20 of 54

Please wish me luck, I've been in the hospital since Tuesday with preterm labor. What we thought might be an imminent birth luckily stopped with magnesium sulfate. We're 1d6hrs from the 28 week mark, and hoping for at least a few more days (even weeks) after. Baby is doing well, my uterus is just having fit after fit, and rebelling with contractions.


I knew this was a possibility from early on, and something I've been trying to prepare for, but it still sucks. Yet I realize I'm blessed to have made it this far; this time, my baby will have pretty good odds. 

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