or Connect
Mothering › Groups › September 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Your Ideal Birth

Your Ideal Birth

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

So I was thinking about how I intend my birth to be (you know, "believe it into being") and was curious how others want their birth to go.


This is what I want for myself:


Labor will start on or slightly before my "due" date at around 11 am after a really great night sleep of at least 8-10 hours (what? it could happen, ROTFLMAO.gif)

I will labor for about 2 hours, call the midwife, DH will set up the pool, I will get it and labor will get to where I need to concentrate but the pool makes everything tolerable. Midwife will arrive 30 minutes later.

My body and mind will be in perfect harmony and my body will push my baby into the world and I will catch him.

I will not tear.

He will be alert, content and comfortable, perfect and healthy.

He will be a nursing champ and we won't have any nursing issues.


That would be amazing. 

post #2 of 8

That sounds wonderful!  I have fantasized many times about how I want my birth to go!


I would like to go into labor around the same time of day, the Saturday before Labor Day.  It's a bit early, but it would be so convenient, since I'm not planning to go back to the office after that point.  And DH will be home, no need to call him, and friends will be home to take care of our dog.


I really liken labor to a marathon, because it's the closest thing I've experienced to labor: you have a long way to go, you finish when you finish, and there is a lot of discomfort and "digging deep" to manage.  So foods and fluids are a big part of it for me.  Early labor can last about 4 hours, so I can: go for a nice long walk with the dog, call our doula, eat a big meal, which I have planned (there's this fabulous local diner called Kerbey Lane Cafe, and I want their breakfast platter which includes pancakes, house-made vegan soy-sage, and scrambled eggs), hydrate, take a shower, shave my legs if needed, and make sure I have everything I want/need in my hospital bag.


Late first stage the doula arrives and I draw a warm bath (and hopefully have a nap, a snack, good music playing, and lots of water).  Late first stage can last a couple of hours, then we head to the hospital as I near transition (I'll probably be miserable no matter what I'm doing, might as well be on the way to the hospital), and when they wheel me into my room I'm ready for second stage.  Second stage will last no longer than an hour.


I will not tear because DH and the doula will watch for crowning and tell me to hold off on pushing to let the skin stretch around the baby on its own.  We watched a video about this in Bradley class, it was quite amazing!  When baby comes out, she'll be alert, score high on the Apgar score, and nurse like a pro.  Also, I will not break any capillaries in my face and look beautiful in my pics.  Might as well throw that one in lol.gif

post #3 of 8

I keep thinking on this and I'm having a hard time figuring out what would be absolutely ideal!  Mostly... I'm trying to figure out when I'd like to know labor was "for real"...


I think I'd like to wake in the morning around 6 a.m. knowing This Is The Day.  I'd like to have a bit of time to myself... just me and baby, readying to meet each other.  I just want that quiet time to get myself into a good place mentally.  Plus, I need enough of a head's up to let my midwife know.  A quick labor sounds amazing, but my midwife lives 2.5-3 hours away... I'd like her to be here.


So the morning would move along with walks, a shower, breakfast (hm... haven't thought of exactly what I'd want!  I'm so fickle with food lately... might just have to wait until the day), maybe more walking? I'd love to have this baby in the bright light of day... anywhere between 11a.m.-2p.m.  I've always and only have daytime babies thus far and I rather like that!


And gosh... picking an ideal date... I'd like to avoid Sept 11th at all costs.  Sept 1st would be 39 weeks which could be fun (since no babies have arrived before 41 weeks), but I'd be great with Sept 8th -- my official EDD and also our 11th wedding anniversary :)


Pushing this time will be instinctual and full of productive, powerful pushes.  DD4 was an emotional struggle (as my midwife pointed out, "pushing while closing your legs isn't really going to get you anywhere"...).  I think partly because with dd3 it all happened SOOOOOOOOO insanely fast and was almost terrifying.  So, with this baby #5, I'll enter into pushing with confidence to just do what needs to be done as my body wants to do it!


This baby will take to nursing like a champ and will avoid hamburger nipples and scabbing and bleeding (one can dream, right?!).  By nighttime, we'll all be ready for a bit of a nap and snuggle in for life as a family of SEVEN.


(I haven't put my older four girls in this ideal story yet... because I don't know how it will play out!)

post #4 of 8

My ideal labor... 



Would begin during the morning (yeah right.. my body simply does *not* have contractions during the daytime.  Nope.

Would be around 4 hours long, enough to give me notice but not enough to completely exhaust me.

Would have my husband and children present only.

Would be simple and straightforward- no shoulder dystocia, vertex baby, no crazy back labor, simple pushing stage, and a placenta that finds its way out in a timely manner.  And a healthy baby, of course.  Oh, and not too much blood, and I'd like my water to break in a place that's convenient to clean up, IE the shower, toilet, even kitchen floor.  Or hey, baby could be born in the caul and we'd just break it over a pile of towels.  Easy peasy.


I'd be drinking lots of iced tea and eating cheez-its.  Seriously.  


Oh, one can dream!


And should the homebirth not work out, I'd still like a 4 hour long hospital labor- though I'd like to go in sooner to transition, almost pushing, have baby, sign out AMA, go home, sleep in my own bed, relax with my new family.

post #5 of 8
I'll play smile.gif

I will organize the last of the baby clothes, clean my house top to bottom and spend the day before baking easy-to-eat whilst laboring/nursing muffins. DD will go down like a dream at 8pm and sleep in her room for 12 straight hours.

I will wake up with a twinge of "hmmmm" at 6am. I'll spend some time in bed, just me, knowing that DD and DH are still asleep. After a bit, I'll get up out of bed and on the birth ball, check my email, update you ladies, and decide what I want to eat for breakfast. I'll have easy contractions 10 minutes apart for an hour, and then I'll wake DH up. He'll be incredibly excited and give me a big kiss.

I'll text my sister to let her know that she should come get DD in a few hours. DH will make me a yummy breakfast. We'll chat and I'll boogie around the house, handling contractions. DD will wake up in a fantastic mood and I'll tell her that we might get to meet baby brother today. She'll be incredibly excited and give me a big kiss and hug. She'll want to play with the birth ball and eat breakfast. After she gets dressed, we'll all take the dog on a big walk around the neighborhood, me stopping every once in a while to handle a contraction. Things will pick up in intensity. I'll call my doula.

My sister will arrive and hang out for a bit. She'll be incredibly excited and give me a big hug. She'll clean my tub and toilet again, in case I want to do any laboring there. She'll take an awesome picture of me. She'll take DD -- they'll have fun at the park, eat lunch, and go back to her house. My doula will arrive. Things will pick up in intensity again. I'll drink coconut water and eat applesauce.

I'll get in the shower. DH will double-check the hospital bags and load them in the car. I'll get out of the shower. I'll hang on DH. I'll squat. I'll put one leg up on the toilet. I'll say, I think it might be time to go. My doula will agree. She'll call my doc's pager and then call the hospital to give them a head's up.

I'll get in the back, hang over the seat, and hum. My doula will get in the back with me. DH will be calm, cool, and collected, and drive us to the hospital smoothly, quickly, safely.

We'll meet my doctor in triage, he'll check me, and I'll be complete -- no time for a hep lock! straight to L & D! people will start rushing around, but DH, doula, and doc will remain calm and I'll be focused. I'll start to feel the urge to push on the way. While the nurses are setting up the bed, I'll say, I need to push now. Doc will throw some chux pads on the floor and I will push that baby out of my vagina! The placenta will plop out a few minutes later, the nurses will help me up onto the bed. DH will cut the cord. Baby will nurse effortlessly.

post #6 of 8

I haven't given birth before but I want mine to be like the stray cat's hubby and I took in earlier this year!  (Completely unreasonable, I know).


Basically, I want to labor quietly in several positions for a little over an hour, then come into a crouch / squatting position when I feel the baby descend and have it plop out while giving only the tiniest yelp (or mrewop!) of surprise.


Realistically, I do desire to have a little assistance as possible during birth.  I'm having a home birth and let my midwives know my thoughts on this.  The center is a mere five minute drive from us, so they said to let them know when I'm close and they're willing to wait at the center until we ask for the on call to come over.  I want the opportunity to be left to my own devices so I can fully trust my instinct / intuition.  I don't want any checks, I don't want any guidance in pushing -- I'd like to avoid pushing at all, actually, and instead allow for my body to deliver on it's own.  I only want help with the placenta (am having it encapsulated) and cutting the cord.


Having said that, I know that can alllllll change once the time comes.  But I also know that I do better without an "audience" or anyone else's expectations.  I'm glad that the MWs are willing to accomodate my wishes and that they will be nearby should their intervention become necessary.

post #7 of 8

Not much into the ideal birth, but I have some, "would like to haves"


1. No hospital transfer. I am planning a home vbac in a VERY anti vbac town. If I transfer to the hospital, its not going to be pretty. I would hope they would be decent enough to give me adequate care.. but Id rather not go that route and have to transfer to the hospital for a csection.


2. My home birth OB will NOT have any other clients who go into labor that day. I am due September 5th, but he has 6 clients in August and another due September 7th.


3. I can handle the pain. I have never been in labor before but I have a high pain tolerance so I am hoping Im able to cope without throwing in the towel and going to the hospital.


4. Husband will be supportive and patient.


5. Neighbors wont complain or call cops because of "strange noises" coming from the house. BTW- Any other home birthers out there... did you talk to your neighbors ahead of time?


6. Baby will be born healthy, alert, and able to breast feed.

post #8 of 8
5. Neighbors wont complain or call cops because of "strange noises" coming from the house. BTW- Any other home birthers out there... did you talk to your neighbors ahead of time?



We lived in a townhouse with "sound carrying issues" for our first homebirth and I was a bit worried so I mentioned it to one set of our closet neighbors just to let them know not to worry. We weren't friends with them but friendly enough and I didn't want them worrying I was being abused if I was screaming for hours. (The other neighbors were weird so I didn't but it worked out - and DH actually had to go over there the next day to ask them to be quiet since we had just had a baby and didn't want to listen to their karaoke!) I didn't end up being a big yeller but I did felt like I was pretty loud at certain times but the friendly neighbors said afterwards that they didn't hear anything but they suspected I was having the baby when a strange car appeared in the middle of the night. So I'm not sure if it was necessary but it gave me one less thing to worry about. 

Mothering › Groups › September 2012 Due Date Club › Discussions › Your Ideal Birth