What are you all planning for sleep set up? « Back to Group Discussions

[bostonmummy]

Hi beautiful mamas,

I've been reading some other threads on this board about co-sleepers vs. side carring a crib, and it seems like the majority say that side carring is the best way to go. At this point, I'm pretty averse to co-sleeping for longer than the first few months since I'm such an insanely light sleeper, but it sounds like side carring is such a great way to bf during the night without unnecessary movement for either mama or baby. My SIL has offered to give us her crib, but I don't know what kind it is yet. Any thoughts about what kind of crib is ideal? Has side carring worked for you? I imagine that a good bit of this is going to depend on the baby's sleep needs and figuring out how we all sleep best — together, separately, part-time, etc. 

Thanks!

[springmum]

We'll be doing a side-car set up of some sort, haven't actually figured out what that means yet - but babe will be in arms reach for a long time to come.

I'm a very light sleeper too, but I actually found that when DS was newly home I feel into some pretty deep sleeps. I had him in the bed on one occasion and woke up will the blanket pulled over him! Another time I woke up very disoriented (from sleep) and couldn't figure out where he was for only a split second, but it scared me. When he got bigger and I got used to our rhythms then he spent more time in the bed. 

From that experience, I will start him in the co-sleeper, sidecar so that I'm still close but if I fall into a deep sleep I don't have to worry. Once I get a little more settled in our routine he'll be back and forth.

Nothing is set in stone of course, I'll just go with the flow for whatever maximizes ease, comfort for baby and the most sleep for all of us!

[Amanda1]

We have 2 queen beds pushed together so lots of room for Dh, DS, new baby and my self! Ideally I would have a king size bed and a sidecar crib so my bed room would look normal and pretty again :) but no extra $ for that right now

[pregnova]

We used the Snuggle nest for about 4 hours before ds had had enough of that! lol From then on, he slept directly on my or dh's chest unless he was alone in the bed. Once I could side-lie nurse, he slept attached to the boob against my side. I know that seems like a lot of closeness, especially if you're a light sleeper, but idk, I always got great sleep, and we never had night wake-ups or trouble sleeping together. 

But, maybe you'd like the snugglenest? I'm not sure how long baby can sleep in it, but that way he goes right in the bed with you?

[Declaration]

Has anyone tried this http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html ?  Is it as good as one of those Arms Reach Co-Sleepers?  This is our first, and I really want to co-sleep, but am a little nervous- I worry about making sure baby is both close and safe. So, we are looking for ideas/advice 

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

We have a mini crib that we put right beside my side of the bed for the baby.  The way it's constructed it's not one we can sidecar unfortunately.  I think that would be a nice set up to have but a co-sleeper or a second crib and mattress aren't in the budget this time around when we already have the mini crib from last time.  I do think I would like to get  one of these  http://www.amazon.com/The-First-Years-Secure-Sleeper/dp/B00012CHFI/ref=br_it_dp_o_nC?ie=UTF8&coliid=I77QR6Y7OB39I&colid=FBFNNK1T12ZK  this time...especially with how I was such a heavy sleeper right after DS was born.  

Last time we didn't get much sleep for the first 2 months before we started co-sleeping with DS.  But in all fairness, DH was never 100% on board with co-sleeping except that it meant that we all slept instead of one of us being up all night with the baby.  DH had a business trip and I knew I couldn't be awake for 48 straight hours taking care of the baby on my own so  out of desperation I started looking into co-sleeping and  I  invested in a bed rail for my side of the bed.  We slept that way for about 4-5 months with me between DS and DH and it worked well for us but started to feel a little crowded, so we started putting DS in the mini crib at the begining of the night and then letting him come into our bed when he wanted to nurse and usually he'd just stay in the bed with us at that point.  Eventually we realized that when DH or I came to bed it was disturbing DS's sleep so we started putting him in his crib in his own room around 9 or 10 months I think and when he woke up we'd bring him into our bed for the rest of the night.  We did that till sometime around age 3 when we started encouraging him to stay in his own bed.  It mostly works and he rarely comes into our room at night anymore.

[Vegan Princess]

Last time we used a snuggle nest until we moved baby and snuggle nest into a pack and play a couple feet from the bed around 6 weeks. DD slept there until 6 mos and then went to sleep in a crib, in her own room. By 15 months, she was STILL waking a few times/night and we were spending ages trying to bounce her back to sleep. So we brought her back to our bed full time (she had always ended up in our bed by 3 am or so when we couldn't take the waking anymore). She's been in our bed full time until a month or 2 ago. Now she sleeps in a toddler bed pushed up next to our bed on DH's side.

New baby will definitely be co-sleeping for the forseeable future. Unless this kid is some amazing sleeper - then maybe we'll try a crib in the DD's room - assuming she ever starts sleeping there. LOL. But I am def not going through all the bouncing back to sleep that we did w/DD and could have avoided, had she been in our bed!! We are going to sidecar the crib in hopes that we might have a little extra space and maybe not have a baby in between us all the time anymore like DD was for the past almost 2 yrs! I actually just got a used organic crib mattress today (since our other mattress is in DD's toddler bed). We have a crib that converts into a toddler bed so the side comes off - that is what you need in order to sidecar. 

I hated the snuggle nest. I suppose it afforded us a bit of comfort bc we were very nervous having a tiny newborn in bed with us. But I don't feel like I need it anymore since I'm used to having a baby next to me. Mostly it just took up way too much room right in between us and we both felt cramped and slept poorly with it there. 

Cindy

[sillymom44]

I love the idea of co-sleeping and think it is GREAT....buuuut, it did not work for us for many reasons including the fact that I was incapable of keeping blankets and pillows off of my baby's heads and my DH- although a wonderful man- could not sleep next to the baby b/c I woke up multiple times with him laying halfway on top of the baby.  And, I'm just such a light sleeper that I woke up constantly.  I will keep the baby beside our bed in a bassinet and then move him into his crib when we're all ready.  I am sure there will be times that he will sleep with me due to sleep deprivation- and who knows, maybe it'll work better this time.  I guess I really shouldn't even plan-- we'll see what happens!!  HAHAHA!!!

[JENinOR]

We have coslept with all our babies for various lengths and for me it's all about the mattress and not snuggling. We bought a king size, latex mattress because latex is one of the least toxic/non-toxic materials and because there are no springs you don't feel movement near you. A king size bed provides ample room for dh, babe, and I!!! After nursing, I put baby back on his tummy (after babe can move his head side to side well- before then we swaddle at night) on his own non-toxic heavy blanket/quilt over on the side that is butted up to a wall (we've also used bed railing that is sold for toddlers in children's dept.). soooo we don't snuggle. snuggling keeps me and babe up and we get less sleep that way! I love co-sleeping, but I also love sleep, hence the little tricks we've found to accomplish both, lol.

[JENinOR]

I want to add that planning to sleep with your baby is typically much safer than just doing it here and there. You subconsciously are aware (just like you don't fall off the bed and it doesn't keep you up at night subconciously knowing where the mattress ends) and can set up safety precautions rather than just being exhausted from getting babe in and out of his play pen or crib all night and in desperation bring him to bed. I remember reading that here: http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/  I also remember reading that it's not as safe to have babe in the middle of mom and dad. Been a loooooong time since I did my research though!

[springmum]

Jen - I agree there are safe ways to co-sleep and if it works for your family that's great!

In the early days, my mama intuition told me it was not right for us -waking up with a blanket over your newborn is not something fun to wake up to - even though it started out at the foot of my bed b/c I was worried about blankets around a newborn!  (yes, I know it was my instincts waking me, but who knows how long he was under there) Keeping baby within arms reach I feel is great for those that think co-sleeping isn't right for their family. It is still close enough to hear all the tiny noises, but far enough for those that worry. Close enough, you don't have to get out of bed etc. We have a non-toxic mattress and set-up for baby too :)

I have one of those angel care monitors that detects the breathing of baby to put under the mattress of the baby's bed - and from experience (forgetting to shut the darn thing off when I'd pull him out to change him) it's loud! So it might be worth a try for those that wonder about that.

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by springmum 

Jen - I agree there are safe ways to co-sleep and if it works for your family that's great!

In the early days, my mama intuition told me it was not right for us -waking up with a blanket over your newborn is not something fun to wake up to - even though it started out at the foot of my bed b/c I was worried about blankets around a newborn!  (yes, I know it was my instincts waking me, but who knows how long he was under there) Keeping baby within arms reach I feel is great for those that think co-sleeping isn't right for their family. It is still close enough to hear all the tiny noises, but far enough for those that worry. Close enough, you don't have to get out of bed etc. We have a non-toxic mattress and set-up for baby too :)

I have one of those angel care monitors that detects the breathing of baby to put under the mattress of the baby's bed - and from experience (forgetting to shut the darn thing off when I'd pull him out to change him) it's loud! So it might be worth a try for those that wonder about that.

Springmum, I'm sorry, I sincerely hope I did not come across as cosleeping is best, because I really don't think that way...just explaining what works for us and why. Blankets over baby would be so scary! That's great to know about those monitors. Thank you as I do use a playpen by my bed for naps when babe starts to move around and eventually at babe's "bedtime" and dh and I decide we want the luxury of getting into bed later without a baby waiting for us. :P  I do bring babe to bed and give him a good nursing before I go to bed though-hopefully for a nice long stretch of sleep afterwards! that's the thought anyway, lol.

p.s. as an aside, I will add just for those who are co-sleeping that it's "safer" for babe to use his/her own blankets vs using mom and dads. just and fyi if you weren't aware, but feel free to disregard the "experts" and do what you feel comfortable with, of course!!

[Angelorum]

Ds went straight in our king sized bed from day 1.  He's been there ever since, though I would have moved him to his own bed/room months ago if we had the space.  We move in 2 days to a house where ds can have his own room, I just hope he takes to it!  With this baby, I'm feeling a little more jealous of my sleep space, and I'd like to have some kind of bedside baby bed, for at least the beginning of the night.  Our mattress is a sleep number, and dh's side is way softer than mine, so the middle of the bed is kind of useless.  The other thing is, I don't have an actual bed, our mattress is on the floor, so I can't side car a crib or get a cosleeper.  I'd like to just get another mattress to put next to my side, but I'm not sure how to make that safe.  Do I need to make sure the mattresses are the same height?  I'll have to see how much space we have in our new bedroom, but I don't think I want something as large as a twin.  Maybe just a toddler or crib sized mattress.  I don't want to get something that I would have to really get up to get into, even if it was right next to our bed.

[springmum]

Originally Posted by JENinOR 

Springmum, I'm sorry, I sincerely hope I did not come across as cosleeping is best, because I really don't think that way...just explaining what works for us and why. Blankets over baby would be so scary! That's great to know about those monitors. Thank you as I do use a playpen by my bed for naps when babe starts to move around and eventually at babe's "bedtime" and dh and I decide we want the luxury of getting into bed later without a baby waiting for us. :P  I do bring babe to bed and give him a good nursing before I go to bed though-hopefully for a nice long stretch of sleep afterwards! that's the thought anyway, lol.

p.s. as an aside, I will add just for those who are co-sleeping that it's "safer" for babe to use his/her own blankets vs using mom and dads. just and fyi if you weren't aware, but feel free to disregard the "experts" and do what you feel comfortable with, of course!!

Jen - no worries at all, I didn't mean to come across as crusty- hard to convey the right tone in writing (and I think DS was driving me a bit batty just before I sat down)  I think it's great sharing tips on how to make things better, or work a little differently if something is going right - you really seem to have found some good tricks:)

 To be honest, before DS was born I felt a lot of pressure about co-sleeping b/c it was better, but I learned quickly that we have to do what is right for baby and us, and more importantly do it safely. I only read stories that bad things happening to babies in their parents bed were the parents mistake (did something unsafe), mother's always have good instincts, it's best for baby etc etc. While I agree with those, I was very surprised and little rattled to see that falling into such a deep sleep next to my newborn meant I had to put just an arms reach distance between us to make it work well. I am a big advocate of co-sleeping vs baby alone their room across the house. My definition of co-sleeping is just that it can mean baby sleeping beside your bed too, not just tucked up in the bed - and that it can always change based on needs.

At the end of the day when DS got bigger he would start in the crib (against our bed) then move into our bed for the rest of the night. He still starts out in his own bed (in his own room now) but at some point in the night/early morning makes his way into ours :)

[hansigurumi]

JenInOR - Thanks for the latex mattress recommendation.  We will be getting a King size bed for co-sleeping this time (DS may want to join us occasionally, even though it's been a couple of years since he's been in our bed).  Will definitely try to get latex, though I know it can be expensive!

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by hansigurumi 

JenInOR - Thanks for the latex mattress recommendation.  We will be getting a King size bed for co-sleeping this time (DS may want to join us occasionally, even though it's been a couple of years since he's been in our bed).  Will definitely try to get latex, though I know it can be expensive!

it was an investment, but so worth it and not just for co-sleeping...just sleeping period is so, so comfy.i could never go back to springs. I love my bed, lol. I have fibromyalgia so a comfy as possible nightssleep for me isso important. here's a great resource if you want info. on latex options: http://www.healthyfoundations.com/latex.html

[JENinOR]

Originally Posted by springmum 

Jen - no worries at all, I didn't mean to come across as crusty- hard to convey the right tone in writing (and I think DS was driving me a bit batty just before I sat down)   I think it's great sharing tips on how to make things better, or work a little differently if something is going right - you really seem to have found some good tricks:)

 To be honest, before DS was born I felt a lot of pressure about co-sleeping b/c it was better, but I learned quickly that we have to do what is right for baby and us, and more importantly do it safely. I only read stories that bad things happening to babies in their parents bed were the parents mistake (did something unsafe), mother's always have good instincts, it's best for baby etc etc. While I agree with those, I was very surprised and little rattled to see that falling into such a deep sleep next to my newborn meant I had to put just an arms reach distance between us to make it work well. I am a big advocate of co-sleeping vs baby alone their room across the house. My definition of co-sleeping is just that it can mean baby sleeping beside your bed too, not just tucked up in the bed - and that it can always change based on needs.

At the end of the day when DS got bigger he would start in the crib (against our bed) then move into our bed for the rest of the night. We still starts out in his own bed (in his own room now) but at some point in the night/early morning makes his way into ours

ha, yes my almost four year old just stopped getting into bed with us in the middle of the night. :P I tried putting babe next to our bed in a cosleeper then later a play pen at night but found that it caused me to wake up too much and I would have a hard time getting back to bed. We're all so different! Thankfully my babes typically just wake once or twice at night to nurse after the infant stage and are good napperse and we cosleep, so I can honestly say I feel rested enough in the mornings and that makes me happy and sane! Now I would love it if they slept through the night before two or later (i don't nurse through pregnancy but do cosleep and my kids usually get thirsty at night and want a drink) but it is what it is, lol.
Edited by JENinOR - 7/12/12 at 11:09pm

[bostonmummy]

Hey mamas - thanks for sharing your experiences! To be honest, I'm kind of scared of co-sleeping. Not because of worry for the safety of the baby, but because I do NOT want my child still in bed with us years later. That's what happened to a friend of mine who did that. Her 5 year old daughter still can barely sleep on her own, and she admitted that it really took a toll on the intimacy of her marriage. So, do you have any recommendations for books/resources about how to co-sleep at the beginning and then to work on transferring easily (please, hopefully?!) into his/her own bed/room? I'd love something in favor of co-sleeping but not militant about it, and I definitely want to figure out how it doesn't need to go on for years and years. Advice? Thank you!

[JENinOR]

Bostonmummy, i've heard of that happening but w e've never had intamcy issues cosleeping! At acertain point early on babe is put to bed in a play pen by our bed at bedtime so we can get in bed by ourselves and enjoy snuggling, chatting, intimacy, etc. I bring baby to bed after dh falls asleep, we nuse, and go to bed, too. I do run an air purifier in our bed room that makes white noise as I sleep better and babes slkep better with it and I think that helps. I'm pretty

[JENinOR]

Oops, anyways, i start very early on putting babe to bed/naps when he is sleepy we nurse first and babe may or may not be asleep but I lay them down. Because I have fibro ive never been able to wear baby and all that which may have been a blessing cause my kida are all great sleepers. I may have to let them fuss a wee bit, but I always go get them and comfort them and then lay them back down and repeat if necessary. I know they are sleepy and fed, so they just need a little help figuring out how t o nap sometimes. Our kids do well transitioning to their own bed when we're ready to do that. They do get up at night for snuggling and water for a while after thay but we've always just welcomed that. I had horrible night terrors and always wished my mom would have been more welcoming of me in her bed because her comfort made them go away. My kids donT have bad dreams are scared often really but we just find it easier to let them come snuggle with us or be in our room than go to them and lay with them when they do need itor want it for various resons some of which we have no idea...they just like being with us I guess. They do grow out of it though! Hope you get some more experiences to help you sort this all out.