Not news to me, but it's nice to know it's a common issue. Dh's office, which was supposed to be the family office, is impassable. It used to cause me a huge amount of stress, but I've learned to vigilantly tune it out. It's self-preservation.
Most of the kitchen counters are covered with stuff: standing mixer, water kettle, fire extinguisher, food canisters, cookie jar, fruit basket, paper towel rack, salt bowl, pepper grinder, garlic pot, perpetual wine glasses that need hand washing and the crowd of little bottles: vitamins, calcium, vit. D, hand lotion, dog's meds, dog's treats, advil. The Dutch oven doesn't fit any of the cupboards so it stays on the stove. I don't see this clutter normally, but recently I heard dh grumble about it, says it really bugs him. I didn't know this! It's always my intention to keep it neater, but it's not high on my list of priorities. It gets cleared out when company comes. But I know how stressful other people's clutter is to me, so I'll keep this in mind next time the counters get really crowded.
Anyway, I guess 'power struggle' is the right term. This is a typical scenario: I get around to cleaning the base boards (or insert whatever other secondarily important task), dh questions the value of it. I bite my tongue to keep from flying off the handle at him, because for f***'s sake, the past 18 of our 20 years of our marriage I have shut. up. about how he does things around the house, I do not criticize the way he stores our music library even though it's nearly inaccessible to me (it's all downloaded), I DO NOT NAG HIM him to get his g** d*** clothes into the hamper, etc, etc So through gritted teeth I remind him that I don't tell him how to prioritize his tasks at work, he needs to afford me the same respect.
Anyway, it wasn't my intention to rant about dh, though I should have known it would disintegrate into a rant.