Anyone else have big gaps in child spacing? « Back to Group Discussions

[newbie_mary]

Anyone else have an "older" next-in-line sibling for this baby?  My DS is 6, will be very close to 7 when this baby is born.  I have to say that it has been pretty easy so far - he is so excited, and low-maintenance at this age.  I'm hoping he will actually be helpful when baby comes! We just spent 3 weeks with my sister and his 4-mo.-old cousin, and he was quite helpful with the baby, although not big enough to carry him around (which is what he wants to do!!)

[birthjunkiemom]

Oh, yes.  This will be my 5th baby.  My other children will be 15, 14, almost 12 & almost 9 when this baby's born.  My girls are already fussing about who will get to share a room with the baby if it's a girl. @@

[Pogo0685]

My son will be almost 4 when this baby comes, so not a huge gap in ages but its a lot more than most people I know who have kids all spaced between 1 and 2 years apart.

That's so cute that your girls are excited to share a room! If this baby is a boy even though we have a big enough house I will keep both kids in the same room as long as I can. If its a girl, well then in a few years we will no longer have an extra bedroom for when people come to stay.

[hotsauce]

My son will be 5.5 when the baby is born.  I am divorced but have a great relationship with his dad, who lives a few blocks away and has a son who is almost seven months old.  It's great because although I only have one child, my kid is already a brother and I've been able to witness how great he is with his little brother.  I've been there for my ex and his partner since the day the baby was born, handing down my son's baby items and babysitting, so the idea is for the kids to grow up together regardless of who's mom's house they're hanging out at.  I feel like my second child with my new partner will complete my family and I'll be totally happy whether it's a boy or a girl.  I think if I had two kids and my son didn't have a half-sibling I might feel compelled to have another for some reason.  As it is I think two is the perfect amount for me, plus the bonus brother :)  He is also very excited, and before I got pregnant we were talking about whether mommy should have another baby and he said to me, "I think you have room".  I asked him what he meant by room and he just smiled and pointed to his heart.  He talks about 'our' baby and I think will be very helpful when the baby comes.  I honestly love that my kids won't be too close in age.  My brother was two years older and I know he always felt resentful of me and I felt overlooked, like my parents were too busy for me.  There was also a lot of competition between the two of us.  This way, my son is already secure and independent, they won't be interested in the same things at the same time due to age differences, my older son can help out, etc.  The only thing I worry about is having enough time for my older child.  We have a very special bond and this whole two kid's thing is new to me.  I remember my mom saying she was afraid she wouldn't love me as much as she did my brother only to find out that love only grows, so I try to keep that in mind. :)

[GoBecGo]

This time there will be only 2.5years between the baby and next oldest sibling, but there are 4 years between the girls i have already.  It's actually an ok gap, DD1 suffers because she can remember that she was an only for a longish time (2 3rds of her life at this stage) and it was a big adjustment getting a sibling.  But otoh DD2 WORSHIPS her and she's old enough to appreciate it, which seems to make up for a lot.

[UCmamaToMany]

For me 2+years is big spacing, LOL 

Only between my last 3 have there been "big" spacing, mostly due to FINALLY successful breastfeeding! I won't bore you with my years of BF struggles. But my last 2 children have nursed for nearly 2 years well my youngest here JUST turned 2 and shows no signs of stopping, despite me saying "not now" and "later" in the hopes of weaning. But I keep giving in. :D It's still odd I sort of want to wean because I sort of really want to  tandem nurse too, but I've never nursed a baby/child THIS long before! Some days I feel "tapped" out!

Any ways this is my spacing:
1-2 = 13mo apart (1998-2000)

2-3 = 23mo apart (2000-2002)

3-4 = 19mo apart (2002-2003)

4-5 = 14mo apart (2003-2004)

5-6 = 19mo apart (2004-2006)

6-7 = 16mo apart (2006-2007)

7-8 = 34mo apart (2007-2010) (1m/c in 2008 and surgery in 2009)

8-9 = 30mo apart (2010-2013)

I actually prefer mine closer together so 34mo apart seems like forever to me.

[ella'smommy]

My daughter will be 6, almost 7, when this baby is born, and she is thrilled to finally have a sibling. It took us 4 years to conceive, and I remember her 'imaginary family' starting a few months after we started trying. This imaginary family started with just a sister, then a baby brother, then another set of parents were added. And she would narrate the activities of their lives to me every day for about a year and a half, lol. As soon as I found out I was pregnant it was like she could smell it on me, and started lobbying hard for a bother or sister again. We told her a little earlier than we had planned because she kept pushing the issue and telling me it looked like I was pregnant.

She is very excited to help with everything... except 'stinky diapers'. We haven't discussed room sharing yet, because they will share a room once we are ready to move the baby out of our room. I don't think she will  mind though, and we can probably get a couple of years out of the room sharing before we have to move for more space. We're in a two bedroom, and the first question my mom asked me is if we are going to move, and I thought really? Do I need that kind of stress while I'm pregnant? Lol
 

[2sweetgrrls]

Not with this one, but with last it was that way--my second youngest was 5 when the baby was born. It kind of feels like we're going to have two "sets" of children at this point--the older two will be 9 and 8 when this one is born, and then we'll have the 2 year old and the baby. ;)
 

[PatchChild]

DS will be five and a half and so far at least, he's super excited.

[autumngrey]

This will be DH's 2nd. DSD will be almost 9 by the time this baby is born. She was super excited for our last and recently decided she doesn't want to be a big sister anymore. I hope it's just fears about losing another sibling and that she comes around. I'm still nervous about it, though.

[phatchristy]

My oldest two will be 9 and 11...so it's a relatively big gap for them, however I have two others who are closer in age, I have actually wound up with a bigger gap with each subsequent child!

[kawa kamuri]

My largest age gap was five years. It was awesome. I've also had four and several three year differences which were also great. 

[kel]

Yes.  My kids are almost 17, 13, 11 1/2, and 6 1/2.  There are 3 yrs btwn the first two, less than a year and a half btwn the second two, and almost 5 yrs btwn the last two.  The closer they were together the harder it was for me.  When I had my last babe, I loved the five year spacing - I had a big break and lots of help from the other kids.  This time around I feel the same - the kids are all so excited and helpful and now they actually are old enough to really help!  I've also found that the age gaps don't matter too much as far as play, being close, etc.  My kids have all always gotten along well and play together - even with the wider age gaps they find plenty to do together.  Pregnancy is so much more fun for me when it's not one on top of the next. 

[itsajenism]

There's a 5 year gap between my first two. I love the space between them. DS1 was such a big help and he really loved laying with DS2 on his chest when he was a newborn. 

There will be about a 3 year gap between this one and DS2.  

Apparently I'm a big fan of having winter babies. 

[PatchChild]

I'm so glad to hear all the positive stories about large gaps between kids. I always wanted two close together in age. My friends all have kids withing two or three years of each other. Five years difference isn't exactly what I was planning.

Right now DS is all excited. He keeps suggesting names and wants to share his room. That might actually work because DS wears hearing aids and can't hear at night once they are off. Needless to say, he'll sleep through any night crying. He's also been looking through our old toys and trying to decide what will be ok for a baby. So cute.

[kawa kamuri]

Originally Posted by itsajenism 

There's a 5 year gap between my first two. I love the space between them. DS1 was such a big help and he really loved laying with DS2 on his chest when he was a newborn. 

There will be about a 3 year gap between this one and DS2.  

Apparently I'm a big fan of having winter babies. 

I have one in October, two in November, one in December, one in January, this one will be born somewhere in there and the rouge June baby. I HEAR YOU ON THAT 

[lulu27]

I have two step-children - when this baby is born, the two girls will be 7 and 14, putting 7 years in between all of the children! They're super excited, and its made for lots of great discussions about reproduction and women's bodies and health and so forth :)
 

[lifeisgood2]

Oldest dd is. 17, ds is 14, dd is 6, and we've got this bun in the oven. Crazy!! This is my second marriage.

[NatureMamacita]

Haha. I think I "win" this debate, which I was surprised by! (but maybe I shouldn't be :-) I am pregnant with my second and my first is 11. He has always wanted siblings, though, (didn't ever happen due to being a single parent throughout and not meeting my husband until 3 years ago) so he is being super sweet about it all. He has stroked my arm when I've cried (it hasn't been the happiest pregnancy- just super rough- pretty much all symptoms in the book! :-) and even though he gets his pre-teen nonchalant responses when people talk with him, he has kissed my belly goodnight several times- with the pregnancy hormones, I'm even tearing up at that! haha! So, I always wanted to give him siblings closer to his age, but I have a strong inkling he is going to be a big help with this sibling and future ones because of being so much older. He has always been incredible with younger kids, too, so I'm looking forward to watching his connection with this one! So sweet, so cute, already. :-))

Fun to hear others going through similar stories! And, fun to hear about others who aren't! My husband wants LOTS of kids and although I'm currently debating how many will come from my body ;-) it will be fun to see the difference between my 1st and 2nd, and between all the rest. :-)

[gina871]

I am glad to see so many of you are in my same boat. My youngest is 5, she can be a high needs little girl and very typical youngest child. Luckly she has two older sister who are supper excited about the baby and will be a great help ( 10 &8). So I think she will follow their lead and be excited too and a good helper.