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[travelmumma]

Hey Mummas!

I knew I would have to start this thread sooner or later! Grr and Lol at the same time!

So I seemed to have popped majorly in the last few weeks, which tends to make being intimate difficult lol!

And I know lots of us are already fairly poppy too! 

So! Positions? Techniques? Websites (nothing horrifying please lol)?

What works for you (if you want to share), what doesn't? Have you had to change things up already? And what are your plans for when you get hippo like??

:) All of us are welcome to contribute, hetrosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender, polygamist, ALL!

:) And please no judgement!

[travelmumma]

ps I just went googling around and I would NOT recommend looking on youtube for any handy hints.. My computer tends to get the wrong immersion and link me to scary things haha

[Jackies]

I can't completely vouch for it because I didn't read it, but I looked through Hot Mamas by Lou Paget at the bookstore last pregnancy, and it had suggested position illustrations for each month. I just read the reviews, and people said the author's tone was stuffy and suggested Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know by Danielle Cavallucci instead. I think these are for a hetero audience. I found a few books on lesbian pregnancy, but don't know which address fun time.

[Mamabeakley]

I think a lot just . . . depends.  DH and I have been together for . . . let's see . . . 16 years.  We are good partners in most ways, including sexually.  But for various reasons, we're not very frequent most of the time.  I asked DH about it this year and he answered that he prefers to wait until I am really in the mood - because the sex is better then.  (I thought that was a GREAT answer! )  So, I guess for us it's quality over quantity!  And, that means that we don't mind too much taking a little time to figure out what positions are going to work best at any given encounter.  We kind of know from experience some things that don't tend to work well (this is our 4th pregnancy together, after all) but there are always different things to try.

Things that are good: physical intimacy in ways other than sex - partly because we need that intimacy, partly because we can do that in front of our kids () and partly because it can create the desire for more.  We like foot and hand rubs :-)  We often move around in different ways while making love anyway, so we do that and find what is most comfortable/sexy at various stages.  We've never figured out angles for more 'exotic' positions that work for us, so mostly we carefully face-to-face with either on top, or sometimes use a sitting position.

 I am a trained sexuality educator but I'm glad this is an anonymous forum!

[esp831]

You know, last time around, I looked and looked for Kama Sutra during pregnancy book and could not find a thing.  But this time I found the same book Jackies suggested...I may buy it for fun.

The quantity has definitely diminished for us, but the quality is great!  Something about the second trimester really helps things along, even when I'm exhausted.  Position wise, we've just experimented a bit and have been very open about what's working and what is not. I can say that if the pregnant person is on top, look for something to hold onto (headboard, back of the couch...you get the idea) or the extra weight gets tiring very quickly! It definitely is more work, which at times can feel a bit unromantic, but the pay off is worth it as it really brings us closer. 

[darkblue0729]

At the risk of sounding like an absolute freak, lol, right now, reverse cowgirl has been working great as has doing it from a spooning position, if ykwim...DH behind me, me curved against him...yes, anything with rear facing entry has been working best for us, which is unusual, except when I'm pregnant. It's not an aesthetic thing, like he doesn't like how I look, it's a comfort thing for me as for whatever reason, with my body as things shift and expand, that feels best. HTH mama!!!

[nhklh]

I guess it depends on what you're into (which might be different during pg to your usual), and adapting that as necessary?  Pillows are good for support/propping as necessary (at all times lol).  And FWIW hetero positions are quite adaptable for lesbians ;)

Mostly we've been having oral sex with penetration, just haven't had the time/space to explore other things because we've all been going to bed at the same time and I find it hard to relax and get into the right head space when I'm keeping an ear out for small interrupters in the morning if things get too complicated/difficult to pack away FAST.  Oral sex is easy to adapt to being heavily pregnant - just prop yourself kind of in between lying on your side/back til you're comfortable.

I'm really interested to see how sex is later in this pg, as last time I always stopped things pre-orgasm because that felt awful afterwards (prob BH?).  

I have this theory that having lots of sex (esp of the penetrative variety) is good preparation for labour/birth.  

Most sources say that rear-entry positions are easiest (on all fours, side-lying, reverse cowgirl) later on.  For me being on top is the go, for control (esp depth).

[tropicana74]

I agree with all the other advice. 
Being up on all 4's in some fashion seems to work in any stage of pregnancy. Another idea is to scoot your butt to the end of the bed and have your partner standing in front of you. you can have your feet up on the edge of the bed or around your partner...that one works no matter how big you are (even at 42 weeks) 

[nhklh]

You know how they say that to turn a posterior baby to anterior you should get down and scrub the floor?  I wonder if on-all-fours sex would have the same affect, but be more fun...

[Mamabeakley]

Yeah, unfortunately, rear entry (although we do try it sometimes) doesn't ever really work out well for us.  I don't know why - maybe body size has something to do with it - DH is a full foot taller than me - but it's just always really uncomfortable for me.  So although that's the 'advice', don't feel like you have to make that work or nothing will!

[tropicana74]

I remember when I hit an age where it occurred to me that a big belly could be problematic during sex (I think I was about 14 and me and my friends were talking about it for some reason). 

Since my mom had had 6 kids I decided to ask her about it. One of my friends had said you have to do it off to the side to make it work so I asked my mom. I will never forget her response..."Honey, where there's a will there's a way".  I know they always had a very active sex life so her answer just kind of always stuck with me and I have learned she was right! 

[cieloazul]

Another vote for spooning and other from behind variations. Me on top facing him works too, just gotta sit up more and more as belly grows. I think we can compensate for more limited selection of positions with a broader assortment of contexts if you will, like it doesn't always have to be at night and in bed. Plus this heightened sense of awareness of and love for my pregnant body adds something, like I'm more inclined to wear a pretty nightie vs flannel PJs (or maybe that's just the hormones that make me warm all the time, lol!) Also, lots and lots of communication, even more than usual. Everything feels different to me so DH needs the play by play narration of what I do/don't like/want in that moment, because it's pretty much guaranteed to be something other than what worked yesterday or 6 months ago. And segolillymama, your coconut oil reccommendation has been very much appreciated

[kel]

On top and (esp later in pregnancy) on top reverse, like others have said.  But for me now, I can still handle being on my back, too - and that can be relaxing;)  

[mamatwo8]

yes, where theres a will theres a way!!! for sure... on top off to the side helps with orgasms, IMO.. otherwise we arent off limits to anything.. even breast play... its all good!
 

[travelmumma]

Originally Posted by mamatwo8 

yes, where theres a will theres a way!!! for sure... on top off to the side helps with orgasms, IMO.. otherwise we arent off limits to anything.. even breast play... its all good!
 

Lol DH has never really been able to do this before.. I was like a surfboard, flat flat flat! But I have boomed out to a C so breast play is my favourite thing ever now lol!!! (Fingers crossed they don't disappear after babe comes!!!!)

[lulubikes]

Great suggestions everyone!

For us, so far on my being on top has worked pretty well, but I am starting to feel like my belly is too big, because I like to lean towards DH and sitting up seems too hard. Recently we tried spooning but ended up each of us lying back a bit, I think I was mostly on my back and he was more side lying but sort of under me... if you can imagine that... and my top leg between his making sort of an X. I've seen that position in a book before, but I don't remember the name. It worked well. Although, I can still lay on my back without discomfort and I wonder if that will be uncomfortable later. 

[phatchristy]

I'm just going to say, especially later on if things get more uncomfortable, just try different things and be creative.  On top, rear, side lying positions can help avoid the tummy a bit.

[mamadiamond]

i just really popped too, and just noticed things getting a bit tricky. right now what works well is me on top, facing either way, or me on my back but with pillows behind me so i'm not flat on my back, or on all fours. when i was huge with dd i would sit on the edge of the bed with dh standing in front of me (because i was too tired to do the work of being on top and too heavy for dh to do the work if i was on top), or we would both be kneeling with him behind. all fours works right now, but gets uncomfortable for me once there is a lot of belly weight hanging down which is why i like the kneeling better. i had an insane sex drive last time, which made me game to do lots of experimenting till we found a good groove. this time i have less sex drive and less energy but we already know what works. and while the belly gets in the way as it gets bigger, dh and i both find that the extra pressure it puts down there really makes things feel great. when we found out i was pregnant this time one of the first things dh said was that he was excited for the pregnancy sex lol.

[segolilymama]

Hey I'm polyamorous, not a polygamist ;)

I agree with the spooning position - besides being easier (no belly in the way) it takes less energy from us both, lol, which is nice as we are both exhausted!

I LOVE second trimester sex - I think it's the mixture of increased hormones & increases in energy - I seriously want it ALL THE TIME. reverse cowgirl, all fours, standing up against the bathroom counter are also faves of mine. Anything that has his weight off my belly - DP is a BIG GUY (really funny as DH is a skinny thing who weighs less then I do most of the time!) - 6'2 and 250 - he's BIG and MUSCLY, not fat though - anyway it does have to factor in.

Cielo, so glad you liked the cocnut oil recommendation, Seriously i just looooove it.

[tropicana74]

Originally Posted by segolilymama 

Cielo, so glad you liked the cocnut oil recommendation, Seriously i just looooove it.

I have to second (or third) the coconut oil recommendation. We gave it a whirl the other day. I use coconut oil for everything and for the life of me I don't know why it never occurred to me to use it for that. I'm a fan (as is DH)!