SEX! (Yours, not the babes) - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[nhklh]

Ok, I don't remember this from last pg, but my vulva feels all swollen/bruised.  It's particularly noticeable when sitting on the toilet.  Different to the general "increased blood flow" feeling, too.

Had sex this morning and while orgasm was still "icky" like it has been the last few weeks, it was a bit less so.  I'm trying to figure out if it genuinely feels icky, or it's a mental thing (ie fear that it's GOING to feel icky).  I expected 2nd tri sex to be better than this!

[tetiana]

Am I the only one who is not having any sex? We had sex in the first trimester only. My husband has zero interest in traditional sex with our little girl growing inside of me, we engage in oral sex occassioanly, maybe once a week, which is a lot less frequently then it was prior to pregnancy. Really hope things go back to normal after the pregnancy.

[nhklh]

Things are back to normal here, no longer "icky" orgasms, which is nice.

[esp831]

Originally Posted by nhklh 

Things are back to normal here, no longer "icky" orgasms, which is nice.

Yay!  So happy to read this.  Hope you're doing ok, I know you've had some stress regarding DP's health.

Tetiana-things have definitely slowed down in our boudoir as well.  By the end of the day, I'm just too tired.  We're trying to work on timing so we can get the kids to bed earlier

I'm sorry your DH is having reservations about sex during pregnancy.  I hope that changes soon for you, rather than later!  Many men are able to move past it with some reassurance from a health care provider, book, or a friend.  Might be worth a shot to talk to someone?

[Mamabeakley]

Tetiana, have you tried other methods of 'outer'course?  There are a lot of things you can try that don't include vaginal penetration, if that's your guy's concern.  I have reservations about intercourse if I've been feeling any cramping, with a history of probably PTL, so we use 'creativity' sometimes. 

[nhklh]

Thanks esp.  It's been a few really shitty days, loads of crying (me!) and just plain depressiveness.  Onward though.

 

Re vaginal penetration - lots of non-penis options!  Fingers, toys, etc.

[cieloazul]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhklh 

Ok, I don't remember this from last pg, but my vulva feels all swollen/bruised.  It's particularly noticeable when sitting on the toilet.

Uh huh, me too. It's a strange feeling and not one that I like. Oh the many joys of pregnancy.

[lulubikes]

Can we come back to this thread? I feel like hubs and I have run out of positions for intercourse and we just don't do it now. I know we can do non intercourse things, but I'd love some ideas for intercourse positions. Neither of use are that big on oral sex (I know weird huh!).

Me on top - Works for me but I'm too heavy now for him. Is there a way that others have found to make it lighter for him?

Him on top - he squishes my belly and it's too hard for him to be more upright.

Side lying - doesn't work either facing each other or spooning. I think my hips are wider so the positioning doesn't work.

Doggy style - he doesn't like it and it's a bit uncomfortable for me.

The X thing we were doing is still good for me, but he says it's too much work for him, LOL!

DH is tall and thinnish (6'4") and I'm 5'6" so we have the height difference to deal with. I'm a bit larger (even without being pregnant).

The edge of the bed thing that someone suggested. I think we can try that if I'm propped on some pillows and not flat on my back.

Other specific positions anyone can suggest? I'm not excited about buying that book... I'm too cheap

Thanks mamas!

[hotsauce]

I've been doing lots of position changes every time because I find things get uncomfortable at points, or my leg will start cramping, or I feel squished..  Me facing the headboard, kneeling with him behind works.  Me squatting on top works for a bit until my legs get too tired to support my weight, but he enjoys this position a lot.  Reverse cowgirl but lean way forward so your weight is on your forearms.  This is a favorite of mine. :)  Me supported on pillows but kind of sitting in his lap as we face each other.  You can lean back to support yourself on your arms.  I also find that if he's on top of me if I put a small pillow between us it keeps me from getting squished and reminds him not to lean too heavily on my abdomen.  I personally really like for him to be on top so pregnancy has forced me to find different things that work.  I prefer to be facing one another because it's more intimate and doggy style/spooning positions make me feel really disconnected at times.  The adjustments are so worth it, though.  Pregnancy is an isolating and somewhat 'unsexy' experience for me and remaining connected sexually makes me feel like I'm still desirable and loved.  Even if it takes a few awkward tries to figure it out. :)  

[segolilymama]

Funny you should bring this up - I had a REALLY bad experience last night (I wrote about it in the weekly thread). I generally have enjoyed the spooning position, but last night it was just making my hips hurt & also making orgasm totally impossible (partly because it was uncomfortable, partly because it just wasn't working for me, lol). EVERYTHING was bugging me - one minute, my boobs were fine, the next I was literally slapping his hands away because it felt like he was poking needles into my nipples. A position would work for like 30 seconds, then become horribly painful. It sucked :/ And the pain I had afterwards (we stopped, and neither of us had an orgasm) was SO bad....

Anyway, I would try the edge of the bed - it's my next 'go-to' lol, since nothing else seemed to work. May have just been position of the baby yesterday, IDK. Another thing I tried recently, that was great, was this side-lying thing, where it was like I had been sitting on top of him with my legs stuck out front of me (ankles near his head), and we had just rolled that over to our sides - It was a little awkward, especially since DP if 6'2 & 275, and I'm 5'4 and normally about 130... but it worked really well :)

[travelmumma]

Lulu- what about backwards cowgirl?

Has anyone found that sex feels diffferent physically? I feel like DH keeps bumping my cervix or somthing else up in that direction??? It was a bit ouch at times!

And wholly orgasm anyone?!?!?!? Ummmm 7 times in one go.....

[segolilymama]

TM - one of the many benefits of all that extra blood flow :) Enjoy it :)))))

Depending on where baby is positioned at any time, and position, you can definitely get cervical 'bumps'. Not the most pleasant feeling (especially when baby is already bumping from inside - yikes!)

[michellerivera]

On the side, me on all fours, reverse cowgirl! Lol- my problem is that sex has been intensely good for a while now. My nerves down there are really sensitive and either I orgasm really quickly and intensely or I start crying really, really hard. Like, an emotional wave takes over me. Isn't this the strangest thing ever? My last experience was so intense I've been putting off sex completely... 

[michellerivera]

On the side, me on all fours, reverse cowgirl! Lol- my problem is that sex has been intensely good for a while now. My nerves down there are really sensitive and either I orgasm really quickly and intensely or I start crying really, really hard. Like, an emotional wave takes over me. Isn't this the strangest thing ever? My last experience was so intense I've been putting off sex completely... 

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by travelmumma 

Lol DH has never really been able to do this before.. I was like a surfboard, flat flat flat! But I have boomed out to a C so breast play is my favourite thing ever now lol!!! (Fingers crossed they don't disappear after babe comes!!!!)

Good news! If you're planning on breastfeeding, then they will probably get even bigger once the mature milk comes in.

[mamaharrison]

Originally Posted by tetiana 

Am I the only one who is not having any sex? We had sex in the first trimester only. My husband has zero interest in traditional sex with our little girl growing inside of me, we engage in oral sex occassioanly, maybe once a week, which is a lot less frequently then it was prior to pregnancy. Really hope things go back to normal after the pregnancy.

We have had sex 2x this entire pregnancy. I am not interested in having sex at all, but that has been since DD was born, so no real change because of pregnancy. Unfortunately, I had a second degree tear with DD {nuchal elbow/arm presentation} and the lovely MW chose to give me the 'husband' stitch without asking if it was OK with me. If you haven't heard of the husband stitch--it is terrible--they stitch you up EXTRA tight so it feels better for him afterwards, but now it just feels like I have a strangers vagina and it hurts :( I'm actually hoping to re-tear this time so that I can heal naturally and see if that takes care of it.

My feelings towards sex now= you couldn't pay me enough money to do it, not even for a moment, seriously! and I used to LOVE sex--HIGH sex drive :(

[travelmumma]

Originally Posted by Harmony96 

Good news! If you're planning on breastfeeding, then they will probably get even bigger once the mature milk comes in.

LOL we are at an E cup right now! From A to E in only a few months!!

Mamaharrsison I want to SMACK that midwife! What was she thinking? Thats disgusting!!! Im really sorry you arent enjoying your love life at the moment. I hope you have found alternatives??? xxx

[nhklh]

Originally Posted by mamaharrison 
the lovely MW chose to give me the 'husband' stitch without asking if it was OK with me. If you haven't heard of the husband stitch--it is terrible--they stitch you up EXTRA tight so it feels better for him afterwards, but now it just feels like I have a strangers vagina and it hurts :( I'm actually hoping to re-tear this time so that I can heal naturally and see if that takes care of it.

OMG that's terrible!  It's YOUR vagina for goodness sake, NOT your husband's or anyone else's.  I'm so sorry she did that to you.  

[cieloazul]

Originally Posted by nhklh 


OMG that's terrible!  It's YOUR vagina for goodness sake, NOT your husband's or anyone else's.  I'm so sorry she did that to you.  

^^^ Exactly. That really stinks, Mamaharrison.

[mamaharrison]

It is actually quite common ladies, so, make sure you talk to your practitioners about it before hand! It was a female 'MW' who did it to me, too....the culture of mysogyny and birth being a horrible event that damages women is ridiculous! 

No alternatives--kids kinda suck the sex drive outta ya and I feel like it is for a reason. Sex just isn't important during this time for us ; )