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March 2013 DDC's July Chat - Page 2

post #21 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by thentherewere4 View Post

Thank you everyone for the positive thoughts.

 

DH found the test yesterday, and totally blanched when I confirmed my pg.  MIL is visiting us right now, so that somewhat limits discussion (which I'm OK with at the moment).  His immediate reaction is that this will totally ruin any plans for future travel/liberation from his demanding job....it will delay my return to work (i.e. my ability to contribute $$)...and that his immediate thoughts were to consider "options".  In theory I support "options", but feel very conflicted when it comes to ME considering "options".

 

I feel like either way we go on this, one of us is going to end up very hurt.

 

Sorry ladies.  I need somewhere anonymous where I can tell what is really going on....


I am so sorry and this is the perfect place to vent. I know when ever I have told my DH about a pregnancy there are like visible $$$$ spinning in his eyeballs and all he can think is WTF do we do now! But he comes around and the money never seems to be a real issue in the end (and he does this even knowing we are TTC or open to another) so I can only imagine how blindsided your DH feels. I hope he comes around and finds a way to support you in this, I hope he will because he will get tremendous enjoyment out of this little one.

 

AFM - I finally got a call back from a nurse who said my NP agreed to order beta draws for me. I had one done today and will go back Thursday, don't know the results of today's yet.  I have never had betas this late and I would also like a look at my progesterone, but not sure that will be ordered for Thursday or not. I am nervous, I have some bouts of nausea and feeling yucky and have had round ligament pain already, but I just need some more reassurance. I really want to sit back and enjoy this whole experience and not be scared the whole time! We have told a few people and through some round about way my sister found out from someone else and is pissed at me, so I am pissed that the chain of people she found out from even knew because of course if I was telling anyone my sister would be the first aside form DH and my Mom! Nothing I can do about it now. She really isn't that upset, just a little hurt and I would be too. DD3 is super grumpy today, teething stinks and nothing is going to make her feel better, if i were not pregnant I would be having wine by now to dull the tingling of my nerves form the crying! Well, that really isn't true, but i would be looking forward to a glass later tonight!

 

ETA - I am going to the OB office for an initial visit with blood work and ultrasound in a few weeks and will start visits with my MW to prepare for the HB at 12 weeks.

post #22 of 48

Hi ladies!  Excited to join you!  I just got my BFP today.   It took us 17 months (yeah almost a year-and-a-half) to get pregnant - I was seriously about to resign myself to having only one child, and I really want four kids!  LOL.  It's entirely possible I'll end up having an April baby since I ovulate late and had a "postdates" (42 week) pregnancy with DD.  I plan on letting baby come when he/she is ready , as I was coerced into induction with DD, despite being with a CNM practice.  I want a homebirth, and I'm so glad that this timing as worked out so that we will be getting our tax refund $$$ right around the time baby comes to be able to pay the midwife fees.  I also plan on having my placenta encapsulated since I had postpartum depression and quite a bit of bleeding (though I suspect both of those happened because of the Cytotec/Pitocin - ugh).  

My DD is 3 years old, she'll be 4 right before this baby arrives.  It will be interesting to have two kids with birthdays close together, but I definitely plan on letting each one have their own celebration unless they ASK me to do it together.  I really want to do my best to make them feel equally special and loved (which they will be of course).  It's definitely going to be different to have two children, but I am up for all the challenges and awesomeness!  Originally I wanted to have my kids no more than two years apart, but I am glad that DD will be able to be my big helper - getting diapers, toys, asking another adult to get me some food and water during the early postpartum time, etc.  And she's able to entertain herself better now.  She was a VERY high needs, fussy/colicky baby, but she has mellowed out quite a bit from how she used to be.  She's still very energetic, talkative, and easily bored, though, and if she's missed her nap - tantrum city!  Oh, and she's still nursing multiple times a day.  Anyone else here nursing a toddler/young child?

post #23 of 48
Jessica, I had my placenta encapsulated last time... BEST THING EVER! It was so worth it and made a huge difference. I am looking forward to those pills again. I am still nursing my youngest, she is only 11 months though. She is teething though and on a bit of a nursing strike and I am worried my supply is going to bottom out with the hormones and everything else in my body going nuts.
post #24 of 48

Glad the pills work so great!  That's what I hear from a lot of people.  Fingers crossed for you that your supply doesn't drop significantly, or at least lasts past her 1st birthday.  I am fortunate in that regard I suppose since my 3-year-old eats lots of other food and doesn't desperately need my milk as much as an infant/young toddler would.  

post #25 of 48

I also encapsulated my placenta with DD and I think it helped me avoid PPD pretty much entirely. I'm not really prone to depression in general though so I'm sure that helped too!
 

post #26 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah2881 View Post


I am so sorry and this is the perfect place to vent. I know when ever I have told my DH about a pregnancy there are like visible $$$$ spinning in his eyeballs and all he can think is WTF do we do now! But he comes around and the money never seems to be a real issue in the end (and he does this even knowing we are TTC or open to another) so I can only imagine how blindsided your DH feels. I hope he comes around and finds a way to support you in this, I hope he will because he will get tremendous enjoyment out of this little one.

 

AFM - I finally got a call back from a nurse who said my NP agreed to order beta draws for me. I had one done today and will go back Thursday, don't know the results of today's yet.  I have never had betas this late and I would also like a look at my progesterone, but not sure that will be ordered for Thursday or not. I am nervous, I have some bouts of nausea and feeling yucky and have had round ligament pain already, but I just need some more reassurance. I really want to sit back and enjoy this whole experience and not be scared the whole time! We have told a few people and through some round about way my sister found out from someone else and is pissed at me, so I am pissed that the chain of people she found out from even knew because of course if I was telling anyone my sister would be the first aside form DH and my Mom! Nothing I can do about it now. She really isn't that upset, just a little hurt and I would be too. DD3 is super grumpy today, teething stinks and nothing is going to make her feel better, if i were not pregnant I would be having wine by now to dull the tingling of my nerves form the crying! Well, that really isn't true, but i would be looking forward to a glass later tonight!

 

ETA - I am going to the OB office for an initial visit with blood work and ultrasound in a few weeks and will start visits with my MW to prepare for the HB at 12 weeks.

 

That sucks about how your sister found out. My brothers always find out through my mother, but they are...young men and don't care about stuff like that.

 

LOL about the wine. I used to have a glass of wine every evening as I made dinner, and boy do I miss the little treat I gave myself during the worst part of my day.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by filiadeluna View Post

Hi ladies!  Excited to join you!  I just got my BFP today.   It took us 17 months (yeah almost a year-and-a-half) to get pregnant - I was seriously about to resign myself to having only one child, and I really want four kids!  LOL.  It's entirely possible I'll end up having an April baby since I ovulate late and had a "postdates" (42 week) pregnancy with DD.  I plan on letting baby come when he/she is ready , as I was coerced into induction with DD, despite being with a CNM practice.  I want a homebirth, and I'm so glad that this timing as worked out so that we will be getting our tax refund $$$ right around the time baby comes to be able to pay the midwife fees.  I also plan on having my placenta encapsulated since I had postpartum depression and quite a bit of bleeding (though I suspect both of those happened because of the Cytotec/Pitocin - ugh).  

My DD is 3 years old, she'll be 4 right before this baby arrives.  It will be interesting to have two kids with birthdays close together, but I definitely plan on letting each one have their own celebration unless they ASK me to do it together.  I really want to do my best to make them feel equally special and loved (which they will be of course).  It's definitely going to be different to have two children, but I am up for all the challenges and awesomeness!  Originally I wanted to have my kids no more than two years apart, but I am glad that DD will be able to be my big helper - getting diapers, toys, asking another adult to get me some food and water during the early postpartum time, etc.  And she's able to entertain herself better now.  She was a VERY high needs, fussy/colicky baby, but she has mellowed out quite a bit from how she used to be.  She's still very energetic, talkative, and easily bored, though, and if she's missed her nap - tantrum city!  Oh, and she's still nursing multiple times a day.  Anyone else here nursing a toddler/young child?

Four kids? I don't know how mamas know ahead of time how many kids they want. When I was pregnant with my first, I was so sure that I was done with kids. Then, after I had her, I knew I wanted another, but my husband wanted to stop at two. Then when our second became a toddler, I really wanted a third and he was open to it. A few days ago when I was sick, I said, "I think this will be our last kid," and he said, "I doubt it," and I was like whoa! I'm young, so I never feel like I know what I'll want. Maybe after I have baby number three, I'll feel done, and then a decade from now I'll be in my mid-thirties and really want that fourth baby. I don't know.

 

My kids have their birthdays 13 days apart. When they get older, I might do birthdays separately, but it's so.much.work. I don't think it makes the kids feel less loved or special having their birthdays together.

 

I tandem nursed my two last time around and am still nursing my youngest, though I plan to wean him during this pregnancy. Tandem nursing did not work well for us, and I think it will be gentler to wean when  my milk dries up during pregnancy.

 

My kids are almost three years apart, and my eldest had a very difficult transition into becoming a big sister. She very much regressed. She started wetting herself (after being fully potty trained for about a year and a half). She wanted to nurse more frequently than the newborn. I wouldn't count on your older kid being a helper for you. I found that my big kid had MUCH higher needs for the first six months after her sibling arrived than the six months previous.


Edited by revolting - 7/18/12 at 7:29am
post #27 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

LOL about the wine. I used to have a glass of wine every evening as I made dinner, and boy do I miss the little treat I gave myself during the worst part of my day.

My kids are almost three years apart, and my eldest had a very difficult transition into becoming a big sister. She very much regressed. She started wetting herself (after being fully potty trained for about a year and a half). She wanted to nurse more frequently than the newborn. I wouldn't count on your older kid being a helper for you. I found that my big kid had MUCH higher needs for the first six months after her sibling arrived than the six months previous.

Oh I so agree! I would also have a glass of wine while cooking dinner every night, and I miss it too! I told DP that after 30 weeks I could indulge in a glass of wine once in a while, and he threw a fit! I was really shocked! I told him there was a lot of research showing that a glass of wine is fine in the last trimester... But he really got upset about the whole thing. I decided that if I went out to dinner with my girlfriends, I would endulge and just say nothing to him. Sometimes he is very over protective and he's such a newbie to pregnancy, birth and baby's... I know keeping secrets isn't right, but I think he's really over reacting!

Maybe it's the difference between boys and girls, but my two younger boys are four years apart, and the older one was great, he helped me a lot, and felt like he was important when I asked him to retrieve a diaper, a ninny, toy, whatever the baby needed.
post #28 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

Four kids? I don't know how mamas know ahead of time how many kids they want. When I was pregnant with my first, I was so sure that I was done with kids. Then, after I had her, I knew I wanted another, but my husband wanted to stop at two. Then when our second became a toddler, I really wanted a third and he was open to it. A few days ago when I was sick, I said, "I think this will be our last kid," and he said, "I doubt it," and I was like whoa! I'm young, so I never feel like I know what I'll want. Maybe after I have baby number three, I'll feel done, and then a decade from now I'll be in my mid-thirties and really want that fourth baby. I don't know.

 

My kids have their birthdays 13 days apart. When they get older, I might do birthdays separately, but it's so.much.work. I don't think it makes the kids feel less loved or special having their birthdays together.

 

I tandem nursed my two last time around and am still nursing my youngest, though I plan to wean him during this pregnancy. Tandem nursing did not work well for us, and I think it will be gentler to wean when  my milk dries up during pregnancy.

 

My kids are almost three years apart, and my eldest had a very difficult transition into becoming a big sister. She very much regressed. She started wetting herself (after being fully potty trained for about a year and a half). She wanted to nurse more frequently than the newborn. I wouldn't count on your older kid being a helper for you. I found that my big kid had MUCH higher needs for the first six months after her sibling arrived than the six months previous.


I've always known I wanted a "big" family.  When I was a kid and even a teenager I said I wanted "like TEN kids"... UM... NO.  That's a bit much for me, but I feel that every woman/family has their own limit on family size.  For some, the more the merrier, others only want one or two.  I say whatever works for you emotionally and financially.  I definitely feel like I want at least four as of right now.  Maybe I'll end up wanting five or six LOL, but ten (for me) is just way too much.  I really admire people who are able to raise that many kids, though.  I had to beg and beg and beg to get my husband to agree to four, though.  He just wanted two originally.

Good to know there are other nursing and pregnant moms in here.  I'm thinking I'll lean toward don't offer/don't refuse until it starts to hurt, and then I may have to refuse sometimes.  I'm just going to take it day by day.

I know there will be jealousy, but I'm really hoping there's no toilet regression.  DD has been potty trained since 2 years old, so she will have been for 2 years when baby gets here.  I do know she'll be a helper with some things, because that's her personality.  She was raised with younger babies around because I did a lot of babysitting her first 2.5 years.  She adores babies, and loves to "nurse" her dolls and change their diapers (with help).  She helps me with dishes, laundry, sweeping, feeding the animals, etc.  She feels needed that way.  So, she may not *always* be helpful or cooperative, but I know that she'll sometimes want to go get diapers, and will want to play with the baby.  I'm almost worried about her wanting to be *too* helpful.  I can see her begging me to "let me do it" with changing the baby's clothes, diapers, etc, and wanting to carry the baby even though she's far too young to even hold the baby unless she's sitting and supervised.  LOL.

 

post #29 of 48
Thread Starter 

I saw my little mango on ultrasound today!!!  joy.gif  Went in because I have been bleeding for three days,  expecting the worst and instead saw the best!  Baby with a heartbeat measuring right on dates!!! :) 

 

 

 

I really want a big family now, but it wasn't always so... When I was pregnant with DD2, I was talking about being on the IUD for a few years and then having DH get snipped if we didn't change our mind in a few years....  Now I want a million kids, well... like maybe anywhere between 5 and 9 kids depending on how close they come. (My first two are 2 yrs. 7 months apart naturally, the 2nd and 3rd will be a couple weeks shy of 3 years apart.)

 

Thentherewere4- I hope things are settling down as you and DH get used to the new direction life is about to take.

post #30 of 48

Really like this July Chat idea. I had a quick check-in visit a couple of weeks ago with my ND who is also a midwife (although retiring at the end of the year, crap.gif so I'm going to have to interview replacements soon). Anyway, I had blood work done and the results were all good but I was told that I need to supplement my Iron (which I've done now). Probably low in Iron because I don't eat red meat, I don't know... I'm taking a good prenatal but it only has 18mg and he said to take 25-30 above what my prenatal has... My progesterone was 18.7 (blood was taken at 6.5 weeks) he said that was in normal range which made me feel good. smile.gif Going in for another appointment this Wednesday, think it will be a more thorough visit and I'm going to tour their birth center as well which is exciting for me.

 

Also have to chime in on the wine comments... I too used to love my glass of wine while preparing dinner and another to accompany dinner. I sure do miss it! Has anyone tried non-alcohol wine or beer, might be a good option? 

post #31 of 48

I am so terrible about keeping up with these threads but I wanted to jump i about the wine!

I have had, this winter, de-alcoolised wines (one from California, which was great, but I can't remember the name !) and I found it was way better than non-alcool "wines". I don't know the specific details, but from what I understand, de-alcoolised wine is actually made the same way as wine,but then they evaporate the alcool.  So it's much closer to the tast of wine, as opposed to juice, which I find what I had in the past tasted like!

 

Speaking of wine, I have to find a way to avoid suspicions this weekend, we have a few family gatherings, including my sisters birthday.  I'm not ready to "come out" yet, but I know that if I don't drink....

I think I'll start a thread on that!
 

post #32 of 48

filideluna -- I'm the crazy one...nursing all three of my kids still, ages 4.5, 3, and 11 months.  I have cut the oldest two back to once a day since finding out I'm pregnant and really hoping the oldest weans before baby arrives (she'll be 5) but still nursing the baby on demand.  On the "lots of kids" part, I said I wanted four.  My husband said five.  That was what we "agreed" on.  Our parents thought we were nuts.  Then we had our first baby and enjoyed it so much we said 10.  Then they REALLY thought we were nuts and they all said we'd stop after we had a couple more and realized how much work it really is.  Well, I'm pregnant with #4 and we're not planning to stop at this point....

 

sarah2881 -- It is hard to say.  About 70% of women do lose their supply at some point.  But 30% do not.  Since I am tri-andem nursing, I have obviously kept my supply (at least some) through two pregnancies so far.  I was SO terrified when I got pregnant with #2 and DD was only 10 months old that I'd lose my supply before she turned 1 and she'd wean, but, well...that didn't happen.  Some babies will also keep nursing even if there is not much milk there because they are so attached, and then will be in heaven once baby comes and you have tons of milk again!  Toddlers are super helpful at that point...I'd wake up soaked in milk and yelling for the kids.  DH would bring them to me and after DS had had all he could take, I was usually still engorged, and DD helped me out with that. :)

 

revolting -- My boys are only 20 days apart (and 2 years).  We had a mini-celebration for my older son on his birthday this week (out to ice cream and got him a balloon), and we'll have a mini-celebration with his grandparents this weekend (a cake).  But the real "party" will be in a couple of weeks when my younger DS turns 1.  We will always take them separately for ice cream and a small treat, but probably will have the "big" party together because we don't want to ask family to drive twice (they are two hours away).

 

thentherewere4 -- I hope your husband comes around and you can come to feel okay with what happens.

 

SuzieSmiles -- I don't drink, but kombucha has a bit of a kick to it and sort of has that alcoholic flavor...and the probiotics can give you a bit of that warm buzzy feeling (okay, I've had a drink before but it's very very rare).  Might not be a good habit to start during pregnancy but I sure love it and it's healthy!  We're also interviewing new midwives this pregnancy.

 

Nothing is going on here really.  Very busy with the older three!  They are all napping now, though.  Yes, they all still nap (most days -- sometimes the oldest doesn't.  But today they were kicking each other in the face and screaming post-lunch, so it was definitely nap time).  I am not very sick, for the first time.  I have a very uncomplicated maternity history (four pregnancies, three babies so far).  First appointment isn't until Aug. 1 and then we'll officially be interviewing new midwives.  The senior midwife who delivered my boys at home died last fall. :(  The other midwife left the practice.  So here we go.

 

We are hoping to move to a farm property before this baby comes.  We have been looking.  Haven't found the right place yet.  I'm oddly excited that since I'll be having a baby in March, it won't affect my ability to garden next summer!  With the last two, born in July and August, I was 6 - 7 months pregnant at planting time and had a brand new baby at harvest.  Not so easy.  We are looking forward to getting chickens too.  We'll just have to see how things go.  I might be able to use my nesting instincts to get this place packed up and the new place organized, if things work out!

post #33 of 48

Ktietje85 - have a question for you and please forgive me if this is a stupid question, I'm new to all this... If colostrum is the first milk your breasts produce, how do you make sure your newborn get this if you're still nursing your other little ones (do you pump for them prior to giving birth or)? I'm really curious about this if we're fortunate to have another one after this one and I'm able to keep them going for a while, I think it's awesome!

post #34 of 48

Your breasts will always produce what the youngest baby needs.  Your body "resets" lactation during pregnancy, so you go back to colostrum, even if tandem nursing.  smile.gif

post #35 of 48

That's so cool! Thanks for the info Chapsie!!

post #36 of 48

Did you have your placenta encapsulated locally? I'm curious now, I wonder if there is a place in Hawaii that does it.

 

Wholly unrelated AFM, today I was picking up supplies for work and an older Hawaiian lady told me I was pregnant and it is a girl. Caught me very off guard and outed me to a coworker!

 

Jodie, I am super happy for your reassuring ultrasound! Glad all is well.

post #37 of 48

SuzieSmiles -- Mostly what Chapsie said.  To elaborate, the mature milk changes over to the clear/whitish colostrum as pregnancy progresses.  It doesn't have the awesome benefits though until the baby is born, when it very rapidly changes to the "gold" colostrum that contains all the immunities and things the new baby needs.  In the first 2 - 3 days, always nurse the baby first.  After that you'll probably have so much milk you can feed a village...lol.

post #38 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzieSmiles View Post

 

Also have to chime in on the wine comments... I too used to love my glass of wine while preparing dinner and another to accompany dinner. I sure do miss it! Has anyone tried non-alcohol wine or beer, might be a good option? 

I'm right there with you on the missing my wine, especially after what has been a stressful week. When I was pregnant with ds, I did try both nonalcoholic beer and wine. The O'doul's amber wasn't too bad, but I highly suggest staying away from the wine. It's not good. I tried a ginger-pomegranate sparkler at a restraunt the other night and it was a nice substitute for me while the others were drinking beer and wine. I still felt like I was having something "special", and I got free refills!

 

AFM - I'm still dealing with the nausea :(  Things were getting better last week, but it's reared its ugly head again the other day. I woke up feeling pretty crummy this morning. Combine that with some lousy sleep (I've been up at least 3-4 times a night for the last week) and I'm just not feeling my best. I'm trying to keep a happy face on for ds and to keep motivated, but my fuse it definitely short right now. My parents are in town and I've been fairly short with them. On a more positive note, we interviewed another midwife on Friday and are getting closer to make a decision. I think I'm anxious to get that first appointment scheduled. I'm hoping this next week is a little more positive.

post #39 of 48

Ktiejtje85: thanks for your input on colostrum, really helpful as well. 

 

Maydaymom10: regarding missing wine... I feel ya for sure, especially after a stressful day or week! The ginger-pomegranate sparkler sounds yummy. Since I originally posted about anyone trying non-alcohol wine/beer... I've tried a dealcoholized Chardonnay (Ariel 2011) and YUCK is all I can say, it was just too sweet for me. Might have been a better experience if I hadn't had it by itself while preparing dinner like I used to do. It probably would have been better having it with dinner instead, I'll give it another try this week. And, I tried the Amber O'Douls, it wasn't bad at all. I think it will do the trick! Yeah!! The lady I spoke with at New Season's (where I bought the dealcoholized wine) said that the Cabernet was pretty good, so I bought one of those as well, haven't tried it yet, but will post my thoughts on it when I do!

 

Has anyone else tried any non-alcoholic wines? I'll probably get over this silly craving/habit soon, but it's hard right now for some reason.

post #40 of 48

Also, in my personal experience with tandem nursing, with #2 my milk came in very quickly & easily... it took longer the first time around. My oldest was 29 months when my second was born, and it was funny because she totally plumped up when my milk came in. I let her nurse quite a bit at first (even at night) because it really helped my over-supply/over-active let down. My oldest had nursed exclusively on my left side (which is my "best" side, easiest to latch on to) but once the baby was born she actually switched to my right side! I was amazed! It turns out that my right side was my major production side (who knew!) and I had a really strong flow on that side. I actually would let her nurse that side pretty well before I put my baby on it, and then the baby got everything from the left side. It really worked out amazingly well. Then after a few weeks I started limiting her, which she resisted a bit but in the end was fine with it. (She went on to nurse until she was 6 yo and I did have to encourage her to stop, but it was a good experience over all...)

 

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about my over-supply/over-active let-down this time around since I won't be tandem nursing, my youngest weaned over a year ago! (It's not so fun to nurse past 5 yo if you don't have a younger sibling keeping the supply up, it seems... my milk pretty much went b/c she was only nursing once a day so she self-weaned...)

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