March 2013 DDC's July Chat - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[jodieanneanton]

Can I complain??!?!  My uncle just called to tell me that while he is happy I am not having a miscarriage, he would really like me to see a doctor instead of a midwife...  "Just cuz it's safer and you have had two miscarriages."  Growl...  This is the first unsolicited advice I have received in over a year, so it is particularly annoying... 

I am a grown woman with two children and a DH of 7 years... I think I can make my own medical decisions.  :-/

[beautifulnm]

 jodie, I'm sorry. It is always hurtful when folks act like you're unable to make the correct decisions for yourself, even if they don't necessarily mean it that way.

[Bena]

Originally Posted by jodieanneanton 

Can I complain??!?!  My uncle just called to tell me that while he is happy I am not having a miscarriage, he would really like me to see a doctor instead of a midwife...  "Just cuz it's safer and you have had two miscarriages."  Growl...  This is the first unsolicited advice I have received in over a year, so it is particularly annoying... 

I am a grown woman with two children and a DH of 7 years... I think I can make my own medical decisions.  :-/

Uggh...that is soo annoying!

Poor you!

Of course, you and I (and everyone else here) that a miscarriage is in no way caused by a midwife, or prevented by a doctor!

I guess there is no way to avoid those kind of comments....just let them roll of you back, though I know that is soooo easier said than done!

[Chapsie]

I have been very hush hush about this pregnancy because I am SO not looking forward to all the unsolicited advice!   I'm a neonatal nurse at a local hospital and I had my last baby delivered by a CNM at a different hospital (that was more VBAC-friendly) and my coworkers flipped out that I didn't just have a repeat c/s and stay at the hospital we work at.  I can only imagine what they would think if I told them i was planning a home birth this time!!! They are not shy with their opinions!  

When I told some coworkers that I was having a second miscarriage, instead of the usual "I'm so sorry's"  they said: "well, you didn't give your body enough time to heal from the first one, what are you doing getting pregnant again??"  ::sigh::

Anyway... I'm rather enjoying keeping this new little bub a secret.  Something special that only my hubby and kids (and you guys!) know about.  As excited as I am to share with the world, I really don't look forward to everyone getting in my personal business again.  

Anyone else getting unsolicited advice already?

[naturalmama1002]

I imagine I am going to get all sorts of unsolicited advice, as I am high risk. Which is one reason- although I am not a particularly private person, I am glad to keep this quiet as long as possible. Chapsie- I'm an RN too, and I'm betting I'll have to explain, and re-explain everything at length due to my cardiac condition.

[babytoes]

Jodie, I'm sorry that happened to you, how unthoughtful! Some people have no filters, and have no idea how much their words can hurt or frustrate others. 

Chapsie, it's amazing to me how people are so blind to things around them. You obviously wanted a VBAC and knew that you would have better odds of obtaining it in another hospital. Whareas your co-workers would gladly lay down for another c-section. That blows my mind! I have a very hard time understanding our female counterparts sometimes.

[Peace+Hope]

It is nerve wracking to be going into a second pregnancy after having a serious complication with the first.  I know people are worrying about me already but luckily both our families are pretty respectful.  It helps too that I met with a MFM post partum and got her opinion about prenatal care and planning a HB for the next time.  She encouraged me to get a US at 20 weeks but otherwise to feel good about planning a HB.  I can play that card for anyone who questions whether I'm insane this time around :D

[BeantownBaby9]

Jodi, sorry about your uncle being like that.  It stinks, and at the same time, I consider the generation before us completely medically brainwashed and our generation is unraveling so much of that

Becki, do you mind sharing what your cardiac issue is?  I just ask b/c my DH has non-ischemic cardiomyopathy and a a defribulator. 

Peace, glad you will have a stcked deck of cards to throw at the naysayers.  You've crossed all your t's and dotted your i's to make sure its safe for you