My dh has a chronic disorder (not life-threatening, although if untreated it could be) and has started using cannabis as a treatment supplement. It's legal here for medical use and he has a prescription, card, etc. and is under a doctor's care. When he got the prescription, his doctor suggested we tell our 14 year old that he is using it. She said our dd would eventually find out anyway, and it's better to be upfront about it. We still somehow feel a little hesitant, so I'm coming here for ideas and brainstorming.
We have had a lot of talks with her about drugs, and our line on pot has always been that it is medically useful for many people, but is a medicine like any other and should not be abused. We also have explained that it can have negative effects on teenage (developing) brains and would not be good for her. She knows that we feel politically that it should be legal but regulated like alcohol. She also knows that I don't use it because I have had bad experiences with it from teenagehood and that it makes me feel terrible. On dh's early recreational use we have been somewhat mum, although we've told her the truth that he never tried any drugs until he was an adult. All of this drug talk has been somewhat general, though, and not related to our current situation.
She is a great kid, sensible, takes good care of her body, and at this point seems to have no interest in using any drugs or drinking (she recently had a big surgery and wanted to be off her pain pills as soon as she could - she didn't like feeling under the influence). But she is only 14 and the hard years are yet to come. Unlike some teens, she still actually really respects us and still thinks we're pretty cool (no, she does! I swear!). She seems to value us as role models, so I guess we're worried that dh using weed, even for medical reasons, will make her think it might be ok for her to try it herself. We are feeling hesitant about the old "do as I say, not as I do" approach, since we've always tried to model behavior and values for her.
If you were in this situation, wwyd? Would you tell her, or try to keep it a secret for now? He only uses at night as a sleep aid, a very small amount (no one, including me, can tell when he's on it), after our toddler is asleep. But the teen often stays up later with us, so there is a possibility she could smell it or otherwise find out.
We would like to be honest with her, but this feels slippery.