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Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › bad signs?

bad signs?

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

I went to my initial appointment today and met with a nurse practitioner who will be my care provider half the time. During the course of our meeting she:

  • Argued with me about my age. She asked my age (32) and then my birthday. Then she said, "You're not 32, you're 33." and stared to scribble out my age. I was like, "Um, I was born in 1980. I know my age."  Her, "(Pause.) Oh. I was confusing you with my son."
  • Argued with me about the materniT21 test. She'd never heard of it. I explained it. She said, "That doesn't exist. The only way to test fetal DNA is amnio or CVS." I said, "Oh, I'm pretty sure. I did a lot of research." Her, "I've never heard of that before, I don't think it's real."


Am I reading too much into this? It felt really weird...

post #2 of 15

Uuuuh, that would worry me, too. Is switching to another provider at all an option?

post #3 of 15
That's pretty weird.
When would you be meeting with the other care provider? Since you said she's the care provider half the time I'm assuming there is another.
Maybe the other one is great and you can keep the important discussions for that person?
Not sure how much of a pain it is to switch providers, I know it's really difficult in my town where all the good OBs are totally full.

It's never fun to have someone arguing with you about stuff when they aught to be encouraging and advocating for you.

Or maybe she was having a bad day...
post #4 of 15

The age thing sounds like an off-day moment, but I would be a little concerned about her lack of knowledge (and subsequent denial) of the non-evasive genetic testing. I work in healthcare and find that there are a surprising number of people in practice who, once they receive their license or degree, no longer keep up with research and pretty much spend the rest of their careers recommending whatever was best when they started.


Bottom line: if she makes you uncomfortable, try to swap her out for a different model. You have enough on your mind these days ;)

post #5 of 15

on one hand, that would concern me ..  not the age thing, but the lack of knowledge about the testing..   but on the other hand, my first visit with my first OB (who i had 2 kids with) was similar, she didn't know anything about half the stuff i'd researched.. and her nurse who i saw on occasion wihtout seeing the doctor had NO CLUE.. seriously, she was just totally  clueless, she told me the opposite of what the OB said on several occasions, about my blood pressure, about nursing while pregnant, about my weight.. i just learned not to listen to her at all..    it ended up not mattering though in the grand scheme of things, only the OB's opinion mattered, we did disagree on some things which led to me moving on to a midwife for baby #3+ ..  

post #6 of 15
I wouldnt go back to her. I might talk to the doc and share my problems with her, and if I couldnt be guaranteed that not only would she not be my part time care provider, but she would not be at my birth, Id be looking for a new practice. I dont want someone anywhere near me in labor who cant even trust me to know my own age.
post #7 of 15

For me, it wouldn't be so much her lack of knowledge or an occasional brain fart (like the age thing) it would be her attitude. It is so frustrating when a doctor brushes aside your ideas/research because they think they know better. And yeah, sometimes they do! They know a lot more about specific things than most people! But sometimes they can be wrong or unaware! I hate egotistical attitudes and it's always a huge turn-off for me when trying to find a health care provider.

post #8 of 15

I would be concerned.  I agree about the age thing being a possible bad day, though there are other ways to politely apologize for that.  In terms of the testing, if it was something she had never heard of she could have offered to look into it more instead of brushing it off as you don't know what you're talking about. I would definitely be weary of her.  Are you really in love with the other provider, if not perhaps you can switch?

post #9 of 15

Wow..... Id be dropping her like a hat or you'll be in real trouble later... Just imagine THAT during labor and birth..... No thanx.. Id move on. Just my opinion  though.

post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 

thanks, ladies! i'm not too worried about the fact that she didn't know about the test. it's new! we're all busy! i was more worried about her reaction to me.what i'd want is for a response closer to, "i've never heard about that test before. let me do some research and get back to you." i definitely do HAVE to go with this lady or this group at all.


this situation just made me even more confused about what to do about pregnancy care. i had planned a homebirth with DD but ended up with a c-section. in all this cost us close to $8000 ($3000 midwife + $5000 hospital copay). i don't think we're in a place where we can afford that again. i'd love to have an HBAC but the chance that i'd end up in the hospital again really causes me some $$ worries.


so, i guess i'm back at the beginning! but, it WAS fun to see that little gummy bear wiggling around! 189BPM!!

post #11 of 15

i would give her a second chance & if she is as dingy the second time as the first, then I would have some discussion about care providers. I'm glad you got the hear little baby's heart beat!!

post #12 of 15

I am a family NP- this NP has a problem with credibility at the start. Maybe she is having a bad day, but to not be upon the latest DNA testing info in her position si very worrisome. And why would she confuse you with her son? OMG. This is a professional embarrassment.  I would ask to have another provider PDQ. Your pregnancy is too important to trust to a ditz whether NP or MD....and I would let the practice manager know why I wanted the change. The NP's behavior and replies to you are unacceptable.

post #13 of 15

Like DebNP, I am an NP also and I would interpret this as a bad sign. It is possible that she was having a bad day, which is fine as we are all human. HOWEVER, her responses to your inquiry re: materniT21 test were completely wrong. To tell you "that doesn't exist" and "I don't think its real" shows poor communication skills and a lack of consideration and respect for your concerns. Is this what you want in a provider? DEFINITELY NOT! You don't want to be at this women's mercy when you need her the most. I am not ashamed to say that I have had patients tell me about a treatment or test that I was not aware of. It's impossible to know everything (although an OB provider should know about DNA testing). The correct response to you would have been, "I don't know a lot about the Materni21 test (small fib-as she knew nothing), but I will look into it for you" I never argue with a patient, even when I know that they are misinformed. A huge part of the NP role is to be an educator. When a patient tells me something I'm not sure about (or they are mistaken about) I research it and provide them with the results of what I've found. Together we learn and discuss the issue and walk away with both of us on the same page. My advice: FIND ANOTHER PROVIDER ASAP!

post #14 of 15

truedat.gif  If you have ANY concerns now, you should really really think about how her behavior will translate into your labor. Don't be afraid to not allow people like this into any part of your life. Look elsewhere for a provider.

post #15 of 15

The part that would bother me was that she wasn't even willing to acknowledge there might be a test she hadn't heard of.  LOL  

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