Our DD, who is presently 27 months old, goes to bed in her own room but joins us in our bed at around 3am every night. Typically she just slides into bed next to me and goes right to sleep, although sometimes she wants to nurse for a bit before she goes back to sleep. It's been a lovely system for the last six months because DH and I get some grown up time in our own room and still get to wake up next to a sweet little baby face that says, "Hi mama!!! Hi daddy!" Makes me feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. Also, DD is kind enough to get herself out of her room and into our bed without ever crying or making us go get her, so we all get to sleep pretty much through the night. Hooray!
My dilemma is that our second daughter is due on August 20, and we fully intend to cosleep with this baby the same way we did with DD1. But with DD1, the only thing I had to worry about was that her father and I were safe to sleep with her. I knew from day one that I was totally safe (I would wake in the exact same position that I fell asleep, and I would wake at the slightest sound or movement), but it took a bit longer to know DH was safe. I don't know that I will ever have that confidence cosleeping with a toddler and a newborn. I don't see how we could keep DD1 from coming to bed with us, and I'm not sure I WANT to do that, but then how do I make sure that the newborn is safe?
As my due date draws near, I am getting more and more concerned about this. I'm not a nervous nelly by any means, and I whole-heartedly believe in the benefits and inherent safety of cosleeping, but I don't know how to feel totally safe cosleeping with a newborn and a toddler, because the toddler is, well, a toddler!
I'd love to hear from mamas who have BTDT and from those mamas who are tackling this same issue for the same time!