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The older they get....is this just me?

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

When DD1 was born she was HN.  People dismissed me and said "Oh wait until she's walking, THEN your life is over!".


When she started walking people said "Oh, wait until she's 2, 2 is TERRIBLE".


When she turned 3 people stopped talking.  But actually i found 3 harder than 2, and 4 harder than 3.  4 and 5 were kind of on a par but 6 is another set of challenges again!


By contrast my DD2's version of 2 is nothing compared to DD1's and i can't tell if she's genuinely a bit less full on or if i just have a much longer rope after all the stretching and fraying it went through with me clinging to the end of it with DD1.


Do other people find that whatever age their oldest kid is is the hardest at a given time?  Or was i just lucky/unlucky to get a very HN #1 and a more normal #2?

post #2 of 7

My oldest kid has gotten steadily easier every year.  Two was easier than one, three was easier than two, and by four she was so easy there was hardly room for her to get any easier, but still each year she gets more mature and more capable of doing things for herself so I'd say she's even easier now at 9 than she was a couple of years ago.


My second kid was really mellow until he hit 3.  Three was a tough year.  Four was better, 5 was a lot better, and 6 (where he is now) has been even better.

post #3 of 7
My older one was high needs (and is 10 now and fairly easy at this point but occasionally mouthy.) The younger one was easy and is easy at 3. She's quiet and sleeps well and is happy all the time and sits still. No age is difficult with her. It's probably due to the older one being high needs.
post #4 of 7

Things with my HN child mostly got better from the time he could stand holding on to something at 9 months (finally could set him down long enough to use the toilet) til age 4. That year was pretty bad and so was 5 but then things went back to their very slow improvement. Although I didn't mind age 6 much in my own ds, I really don't like that age in many other kids. So I sort of feel like ages 4 through 6 are the bad ones. Ds is pretty easy now, at almost 11, though not as independent as other kids his age.

post #5 of 7

Just as my intense kid is getting out of the hardest part so far (she just turned 6, and the last 6 months have been better), my older, more easygoing kiddo seems to be becoming a hormonal tween already! (he's 8-1/2).  ACK! 


My most favorite age is 18 months-2 yrs.  My least favorite age was late 3, all of 4, and halfway into 5, at least with my kids.  They both had low impulse control, but were too big and too smart/opinionated to be redirected like littler kids.  I did NOT like that age a ton.

post #6 of 7

it depends on what you define "hard" as.


i have only one and in some ways she has gotten easier, but in other ways being the HNs intense child she is - it has gotten harder for me. 


for me sleepless  nights and all that came with that and life itself is nothing compared to watching my child's emotional maturity develop and watch the pain she goes through as she discovers growing up.


but my friends - those who have known dd from birth recall the earlier years as nightmares and these years as sooo easy. while yes her earlier years were hard i dont remember the hard so much. 


however mouthy and whining are not triggers for me at all. 


and so i feel 'hard'' is really about me and not dd. she goes on to be who she is - its just me who finds things hard. things that other people see as not a big deal. but its a huge deal for me. 

post #7 of 7

I have 3 kids and they all vary!  My oldest was my easy kid, but he has progressively gotten "harder".  He is 7 now and is ADHD and the only reason its become harder is bc he isn't growing out of the impulsivitiy as you see other kids without ADHD.  It's like a 5 yr old in a 7 yr olds body!


My 5 yr old is super high needs and it has progressively gotten better as he gets older.

My 4 yr old is relatively easy, pretty sure he is ADHD too, but right now his behavior is still age appropriate :)

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