I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old. Taking care of them, feeding our family, and keeping the house at a livable level of cleanliness make up my entire life. The only thing I do just for myself is read when I'm nursing, or sometimes while I'm taking care of the kids. For my life, I'd like to do yoga for an hour a day, have a vegetable garden, travel, swim, eat at restaurants, hike, go on dates with DH, workout, play sports with other adults, and do my hair and makeup every now and then. It just seems so impossible to do any of that with young kids. Every time DH and I try to get out of our not-doing-anything-fun rut, it is just so exhausting, and we decide it wasn't worth the effort. I used to take them on stroller walks, but now it's too hot for them.
My friends seem to be all able to get a night out with the girls or date night or gym time, but I always ask myself how they leave the kids? Like how will my kids go to sleep without me or DH? And my little one doesn't take a bottle. I've only been apart from DD1 for a long time (5 hours) twice in her life. Once, in labor, and other time during a surgery.
I keep thinking, "In a year, I'll be able to drop them off at gym daycare." or "In a few months, it will be cool enough to get some walking for exercise." or "When they go to kindergarten, I can do yoga everyday." or "When my parents or DH's parents move here, we can ask them to babysit and go on a date." or "When DD2 weans,....." or "When both kids sleep through the night,..." or "When I can leave them alone together,...."
I can't tell if I'm procrastinating my life and using my kids as an excuse to not change my life, or if my mind's voice is reasonable in thinking that they are just too young. Does it just take some time? I'm not unhappy with my life. There's just a lot of stuff I want to do that I'm not doing (because of the kids?).