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What is the longest you've gone without "intimacy" ;) ? - Page 2

Poll Results: What is the longest you've gone WITHOUT

 
  • 8% (5)
    A couple weeks
  • 14% (9)
    A couple months
  • 9% (6)
    4-8 months
  • 9% (6)
    9-12 months
  • 11% (7)
    A year
  • 8% (5)
    Two years
  • 12% (8)
    Three to four years
  • 6% (4)
    Five years
  • 8% (5)
    Six to seven years
  • 4% (3)
    Eight to ten years
  • 6% (4)
    Ten plus years
62 Total Votes  
post #21 of 36
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaWhit View Post

There is plenty of "intimacy" one can give oneself.  :)

Yes, but after a while it starts feeling so empty. I mean, you have to think of someone right? That's kind of the whole point. I can try to think of myself but really it's just way too much of myself. Truly, my entire life, even when I'm partnered I "keep in touch." I need to share too though. lol

post #22 of 36

5 years and counting but I don't have time or energy to date, I don't know how other moms pull it off. At the end of the day I'm to tired to think about it and pass out in bed with the kids and mine are 6 and 12! I wouldn't mind meeting someone though:)
 

post #23 of 36

Yeah, I'd rather Mr. Right than Mr. Right now, for sure.
 

post #24 of 36
Almost 2 months here! So not long at all really... I'm still pregnant and I really refuse to sleep with anyone but my child's father. Yet I'm posting in the Single Parents forum so that gravy train died out almost instantaneously after our last time even though we have this firey chemistry. He's simply a partner and a co-parent.

While all my energy lately has been focused on preparing for my baby, finishing up work (and transferring) and possibly starting my Masters program... it has crossed my mind. My BOB collection only does so much for me and I hate to say (as DP and I had an open relationship) I can and have had up to 2-3 partners in one period of time, I'm scared how I'll last.

I'm not done with casual sex, but I don't want multiple partners. Just one stable FWB. But that'll be awhile coming!

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post #25 of 36
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by provocativa View Post

Yeah, I'd rather Mr. Right than Mr. Right now, for sure.
 

Yes. It took me a while to feel good about that, but then I realized that is the only way I can feel good. And it has been much better. :)

post #26 of 36

4 yrs and counting...but mostly likely it will be 5 yrs by the time I'm in a position to date again.  Plus the last 4 yrs of my marriage, we probably were only intimate four or five times total.  Bob is my friend.  2013...I will end the dry spell! 

post #27 of 36
Thread Starter 

Maybe it will happen on 12/21/2012! lol

post #28 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaWhit View Post

I can go years without a partner.  There is plenty of "intimacy" one can give oneself.  :)

 

We are all different and there is no right or wrong time.

Agreed!

 

I have gone years and could happily go many more years without sex to be honest. I have a lower sex drive and don't always enjoy it, in the past it has been mainly for my partner's benefit, and so I am content having fun on my own whenever I'm in that mood, I know best how to please myself after all it's my body!

 

Like pp said, we are all different and there is no right or wrong, I guess it all depends on what your sex drive is like as to whether or not you find it difficult to be celibate. 

post #29 of 36

aghhh...I'm newly separated but dh and I were in a dry spell for years, I know it's silly there is so much else going on right now but I'm devastated at losing the possibility of anything other than solo for a while (I have an 8 mo and 2.5 yo I tandem nurse) I think I ahve a really high drive I've been squelching for dh for years and I've been trying os hard to be patient but now knowing I can't do that with him and would be unlikely to get involved with anyone else...sigh, this thread is rather discouraging in some ways :P I hear the people who are happy alone etc. I don't thibk I'll find that easy and I am extrenely independent, self-aware, etc. etc. so sorry op i have no real input except :P

post #30 of 36

Doulawoman I'm right there with you. It is sad not to have someone to be naked with! How I would like it to be part of my life.
 

post #31 of 36
Thread Starter 

Yeah, I'm kind of done with this whole dry spell thing. redface.gif

post #32 of 36

Five years.  Honestly I was just SO busy and chronically exhausted that I didn't think much about it.  There's absolutely no way there would have been room in my life for someone.  I was in school, working, homeschooling...it was chaotic, and I just needed to focus on myself and my daughter.  I knew that things would get better eventually and would be much more enjoyable when life was calmer. 

post #33 of 36
Thread Starter 

Rockstarmom, so you have started "being intimate" again then? Can you tell me how that happened (going from a five year dry spell to a home run lol) and how it went for you? Had you kissed or made out with anyone in those five years? I am sometimes honestly overwhelmed by the fear that I will never have sex again. Really. And it is painful going so long, physically and emotionally. 

post #34 of 36

Does the 2 years we haven't done it count, even though I'm married? ;-o

post #35 of 36

Mama Soltera, I am not currently getting it on, but when I had a lover this spring- the first time in 5 years or so- everything went fine.  He didn't even seem to care about my stretch marks ;)
 

post #36 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Soltera View Post

Rockstarmom, so you have started "being intimate" again then? Can you tell me how that happened (going from a five year dry spell to a home run lol) and how it went for you? Had you kissed or made out with anyone in those five years? I am sometimes honestly overwhelmed by the fear that I will never have sex again. Really. And it is painful going so long, physically and emotionally. 


Nope, hadn't even kissed anyone during those 5.5 years.  I think it made me a little too anxious to rush things, and I had a (pretty disastrous) whirlwind relationship.  But I wouldn't really change things...in reality I was much too busy to have had time for intimacy before that point, and it was all a learning experience in the end.  It honestly was pretty anticlimactic when it finally happened--the guy was fine with it, and it wasn't such a huge deal to me anymore.  But I know how hard it can be.  Do you WANT to put yourself out there?  Maybe just have a few no-pressure dates?  It can be really nice to get away even for a few hours every few weeks to have some time to step outside of our role as mom and be the center of someone's attention.  :)

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