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Weekly chat 7/16-7/22

post #1 of 66
Thread Starter 

I posted in last week's chat so thought I'd just go ahead and start the new one too!  I actually caught myself typing 9/16 - not that I am actually ready for it to be Sept!  In fact, the thread about lists of things to do before baby is making me very nervous.  I am afraid my list is too long to post since I have done LITERALLY nothing.  Work is crazy busy right now, we have to move on Sept. 1, and I still have to rent out our condo.  When that stuff is tackled, I can focus on my master list.  Ugh.


I hope everyone has a great week.  I am just trying to stay calm - between work and personal obligations, this week is a rough one.  Just need to keep chugging along....

post #2 of 66

Hi ladies, I'm 31 weeks tomorrow. I have a midwife appt. today. I've been having "getting to know you sessions" with them because there are two with one alternate in case both are tied up. I've had appointments with two, but as I've been taking my BFW class I've been realizing that it's really important that I connect with them on a more personal level because I know it will be harder for me to do what i have to do in labor in front of people I don't know too well. Hopefully today will go well. The last one was great--I ended up explaining a lot about my personal history, which the midwife found really helpful in understanding what I may need during labor. Very different than my experience with doctors who were all professional, rarely personal, and only saw me for 15 minutes.


Last night we did a BFW class where we vocalized a contraction. I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I kept giggling every time I heard myself and I was trying really hard not to laugh! I hope I'm not that shy when it comes to actual birth! We also talked about what it is like to be a total messy wreck during labor and all I kept thinking was "in front of the midwife and assistant and doula?" I know it's necessary, and I'm getting more used to the idea, but it still makes me a little anxious. I know I need to let go in order for this to work well. I'm just worried that I may not be able to break free of very old habits. Who knows.


Anyways, enough psychological babble for me. Hope you all have a great week.

post #3 of 66

getting completely stressed about what to do about child care! My oldest will be in kindergarten until noon thru  Nov, then goes until 2. My toddler is w/ gma right now but she cannot handle him and a baby. Nanny, day care...ugh. I find myself taking deep breaths every hr to calm myself about this worry. Never mind the "where is baby gonna sleep" when I can't get myself out of the cosleeping of my other two. Too baby daddy doesn't bfeed too!

post #4 of 66

dmpkmom - I'm with you on that!  It would be awesome if there was some way dads could breastfeed, especially with twins!  Although I must admit to also liking the fact that it's the one thing only I can provide :)


ascher - I think it's awesome that you're making those connections now and I think it will help once you're in labour, although I know for me that once things get intense, I could care less who is around, I just follow my body and do what I need to do.


I feel a little better that I'm not the only one feeling like there's a LOT to do and little time to do it.  I am 31 weeks now and feeling the time crunch, we have done nothing to get ready for these babies and our house is still in a state of utter chaos as we work on finishing the basement.  Carpet should be in by the end of the week and then hopefully one more week will have doors and moldings installed and then we can finally start to organize ourselves again.  Or I can boss other people around and tell them where to put stuff since I am no longer to be lifting/carrying/doing much of anything anymore.  Not that I really want to do much anyway since I feel freaking huge (measuring 40 weeks as of my 30 week appointment)...

post #5 of 66
Hi all! I can't believe we are heading into the second half of July already. I'm getting really impatient to meet these girls. Today I have feet pushing into my ribcage AND feet tap-dancing on my cervix. Sometimes they are so forceful and intense I can't believe they dont break my water! My major discomfort this weekend was the sensation that my belly button and the area around it were tearing open. Very painful, and my SO's first reaction is always to try to make me laugh when I'm in pain. I appreciate the effort but laughing is very painful right now, along with sneezing, turning over, standing up, etc.

This week should fly by. Tomorrow I have a mini shower with some ladies from my student teaching days, and Wednesday my SO's mother is taking me to lunch and Target to get a few last things, and on Thursday I have my 33 week appt, ultrasound, and NST. I think I'm going to buy a living social deal today for housecleaning- three room deep-cleaning for $75. I can't get the scrubbing done that I'd like to, so I may as well hire someone right?
post #6 of 66
So, any tips on determining whether something is your intuition speaking to you, or just irrational worries/nerves? All along, I have had a sense of this easy pregnancy ending up with a transfer. I can visualize getting an epidural, even a cesarean, more than I can a birth like either of my past births. What *really* concerns me is the cord. I just feel like something is going to go wrong involving the cord during birth. It is a strong enough feeling that, coupled with the low-lying placenta, has me reconsidering a 2nd ultrasound. How much can you tell about cord position during an U/S?

Most of my second pregnancy, I 'knew' that the baby's hands were going to be an issue, and yup- one hand up by his ear! I believe the only reason I didn't tear is because I was at home and as relaxed as I could be.
post #7 of 66
Originally Posted by ascher21 View Post

Last night we did a BFW class where we vocalized a contraction. I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I kept giggling every time I heard myself and I was trying really hard not to laugh! I hope I'm not that shy when it comes to actual birth! 

If you're anything like me, you won't give a crap who sees you howl while in labor. LOL I lost all modesty after/during birthing. I felt like a total idiot practicing labor when not in actual labor. You won't feel like that during the real thing.

I've also been with labouring women and never thought, "sheesh lady do you have to moan so weird?". Never. LOL


help007 - if I were you, I'd do the 2nd u/s only because it is often fear/worry/anxiety that prolongs/stalls labour resulting in a transfer. How awesome would it be to know that the cord is just fine and your placenta is a safe distance away? Also, I would start making yourself visualize that cord in an ideal location, behaving itself.


AFM, baby shower was a success yesterday afternoon. My BFF who recently had a miscarriage came and she told me today she actually enjoyed herself and was feeling much better now. So that's good, I was worried it would make her sad.


So I got some pretty essential things yesterday, nothing useless or requiring a return so yay! I was just missing a few things which I just finished buying with the gift cards I received. So now... dare I say it... I am READY for baby. 


Ok, wait. I still need all the mama postpartum things so maybe not quite ready.


Last week I said I am in no rush for baby to get here but I was thinking about bathing him for the first time and how they smell and oh man I want him here right now! LOL

post #8 of 66
help007-I just had a chat with my doula about something similar. She said that while it's important to listen to our intuition, this sense may be our way of processing things we fear and dealing with them before birth. I thought that was interesting. Still, I think if it's something that's really nagging you, you should do something to allay your fears. I have no idea, though, if cord issues can be foreseen on u/s.


wendipauline--You poor thing! I cannot imagine how sore your belly must be! Hang in there. And definitely treat yourself to a cleaning service. My hubby has offered that each time, and each time I get too busy/forgetful to hire someone. I might do it this time, though.  


mamalovex3--Holy wow!  40cm at 30w!  I cannot imagine. Hopefully things will go smoothly with the rest of your reno and organizing and you can rest and supervise. I really hope for your sake they get done with everything before your babes decide to arrive.


dmpkmom--I've often thought that about men. It'd be nice to get a break every so often! I don't envy your daycare dilemma. It's a difficult choice for sure.


ascher--So glad you're establishing a real relationship with your MW team! As for the practice vocalization, I always feel absolutely ridiculous doing exercises like that. But when push comes to shove, you just do what you need to do. Really.


jend1002--Oh, we haven't done much of anything yet. I'm not *that* worried--I don't even have a list!  Of course, I am not moving. I hope you can get that under control and feel more at peace. Are you acting as the rental agent for your condo? We have a rental property, and I had to rent it the August I was pg with DS.  It was a nigthmare near-eviction and a ton of money out of our pocket to get it back in shape quickly...so I totally understand THAT stress. 

MamanFrancaise--So glad to hear that your friend is recovering emotionally. And YAY for getting essentials and not dealing with returns!  i almost wish someone would throw me a shower since i want some things I never would have wanted with DD1 ;)  They're so much easier to take care of on the inside that I am still in no hurry!!!
AFM:  Crazy busy weekend. My mom brought my niece and nephew to visit, so we were out and about all weekend including 12 hours at an amusement park yesterday. My SPD got so bad with all the walking that I was at times nearly doubled over. I desperately need a visit to the chiro who is, of course, out of the office until Thursday which means I won't be able to get in till next week. I'm also having a bit of swelling in my feet and legs. Hopefully with some rest it will go away. I had spent 2 days cleaning (scrubbing floors on hands and knees and other fun stuff) before they got here, so I've not been resting at all.
I also got asked if I was having twins yesterday. This old lady outright told me I was huge!  Now, I'm measuring maybe a week ahead, and I've not even gained 20lbs.  SO I am not "HUGE". Grrrr...people are rude!
post #9 of 66

I have been a little out of the loop!  I will be 33 weeks on Friday!  I am anxious for my midwife appointment on Friday because at the visit last week she was having trouble telling if baby was head down or not.  I feel like he is head down, but her confusion on what was what got me all paranoid!  I need to start getting my birth supplies ready, my "deadline" is 36 weeks.  We have reorganized our house so aside from getting a bunch of stuff that is stored at my parent's house we are pretty set on organizing baby stuff.  There are a couple things I want to get  before he arrives (I love these Aden and Anais swaddling blankets, they were a life saver with DD, but I borrowed them from a friend who is also pregnant right now) and some things I want to do (have the house cleaned, do a belly caste, get henna on my belly, get a hair cut, have my car detailed).  Last night I finally hit a wall with being tired and hot!  Once DD finally went to bed I just laid in my bed with the AC on and didn't move the rest of the night!  We have been going to the beach a lot and people have been so nice complimenting my belly (I boycot maternity swim suits and just wear regular bikinis).  Hope everyone is having a good week!

post #10 of 66

Hey ladies, good to know I'm not the only one who felt silly during that class. :)


So yesterday something frightened happened....I got into my car (which had been baking most of the day) and I was fine driving. 15 minutes later when the car finally got nice and cold with a/c full blast, I got really dizzy. I couldn't pull over because I was stuck in traffic. So I grabbed a granola bar and chewed on it. It was very scary, though. There's nothing like driving and seeing the road move. I guess I need to cool down my car before I get into it from now on.


Anyone else gotten dizzy from heat?


help: I agree with maman. The u/s is well worth your sanity and the last thing you want is to go into labor with a preconceived notion there's already an issue that will send you to the hospital. If it was bothering me that much, I would get one.

post #11 of 66

Ooof. I was up from 3:00-5:30 this morning, unable to sleep. Never fun. But I did find out that the firmer mattress in the guest bedroom seems to work better for me these days than our bed upstairs, which is great to know. I seem to have entered into a stage where I'm always kind of sore/stiff in the hips? Sore when I'm on my feet for long, sore when I've been sitting for ~10 minutes, sore when I get up off the couch/out of bed. I get some relief from the exercise ball and have actually moved myself back to the hard dining room chairs for work, which I found uncomfortable earlier in the pregnancy. Something's telling me that it's time to get serious about posture, and that this will help. 


I spent the weekend with a huge pain in the ass, literally.. piriformis muscle, I guess? It felt like a bad pull to my right glute, and made anything that involved rotating or lifting my right leg pretty unpleasant. Sure enough, when I went into the chiro yesterday my left hip was way off, so the muscles on the right had apparently been trying to make up for it. But can I just say: ouch!


help007, I agree with MamanFrancaise- if you're feeling this strongly about it, it might be worth doing the U/S. It could relax you, or conversely, help you make a plan if the results show your intuition is right.


MamanFrancaise, I always love your no-BS approach to things. I have no desire to practice for labor, either vocally or by subjecting myself to unnecessary pain. I get the thinking behind it and don't think there's anything wrong with doing it, but for me I kind of feel like there are certain things you can't really prepare for. Other parts of our labor plan, sure- like whether my husband will remember how to do the massage/pressure points in a way that doesn't make me want to smack him. We can practice that extensively. ;)


Ava's Mama, I'm kind of hung up on positioning too, and wish I weren't. I feel so relaxed about some things, but in my case I can totally see how neurotic I'm being about this, especially when it's still early. My mw was also unsure at our last appointment. I know I should just give the baby the next month or so to figure it out on her own, and that it's going to be easier to tell as she gets bigger, but still I keep poking and prodding the poor kid. (Doesn't help, either, to read posts from people whose babies never turned despite all the chiro/spinning babies/etc.. I guess this is one of those things where we do our best but also take a deep breath and accept that sometimes it's out of our hands. But hey, there are those 41-week flippers too, so you never know!)

post #12 of 66

Ascher, I haven't been dizzy from heat yet, but I would have been freaked out by that too! Especially while driving.  I've been finding that sitting somewhere hot without at least a breeze is making me feel really trapped, short of breath and irritated.   We went out for a long Sunday lunch the other day with friends and I was so hot in the restaurant that by the end everyone was ordering dessert and coffee and I was just crawling out of my skin.  I've been blasting the fan at night and the AC in the car.


Regarding birth noises, I was also mortified during our CBE class.  At one point DH had to count my breathing while the other couple and teacher watched us and I was nervously giggling too much for us to even count and breath in sync.  Actually we practice some of the hypnosis tracks in bed before we go to sleep and I giggle nervously during those sometimes! And I'm not the nervous type or the giggling type! I'm sure you'll bust out some nice birthy moans and it'll be great :)

Help007, I think you've received some good advice and I will second it! If it were me, I would trust that intuition and get the u/s to be sure.  Like Hyde said, if you get it then you'll either know that you were right and you can make a plan, or you'll know that you are okay and can relax. 


WendiPauline, you sound so miserable and I wish there were something I could do to help! Hang in there sister. 


AFM, 32 weeks tomorrow and feeling pretty good.  I haven't gained any weight in the last five weeks, but I packed on a bunch all at once right before then, so my midwife isn't concerned and I'm not concerned.  Measuring 1 week ahead, but have been all along.  Baby is head down (or so says the MW ;) so that's positive.  I seem to have periods of the day that I feel fantastic and so active and almost not pregnant, followed by a few hours that are miserable.  Last night my feet, back, belly, everything were so tired and tender that I started to get all emotional about the idea of taking the dog downstairs for her final pee break of the evening.  I feel like I have so much to do to prepare for the baby that I'm making scattered efforts all over and nothing's really getting done.  Productivity is low irked.gif.  DH has been great overall, but my in-laws are coming 3-4 weeks after the baby is due and he has suggested some activities for them while their here, things I can do to improve their stay while he's at work, and even some meals that I should make while they're here that he thinks they'd enjoy.   I wasn't sure if he's just brainstorming and forgot for a second that I'll be needing all the help I can get and won't be making special meals for them or if he just doesn't realize.  Hope it's that he's just brainstorming . . . either way, he needs to start reading the bookmarked sections about what to expect and how to help mom during nesting-in!!! And, ok, I'm just venting here! But when I was asking if he thought I should do a quick write-up of how our dishwasher and washing machine etc work (different from where they live and a bit complicated) so that they can help without having to ask, he said not to worry about that because they'll just want to hold the baby!!! Luckily I know my MIL pretty well and there is no way in h*ll she feels that way, she will be helping everywhere she can.  DH maybe just doesn't really get it. 


Gotta run, dinner is literally burning!

post #13 of 66
Help097-- I agree that an ultrasound would probably be a good thing for you (and I'm not big on them in general). It's a big fear/feeling you're dealing with and probably would be enough to result in a hospital transfer even just out of fear.

Asher-- I get that way often. It's miserably hot here and jot cooling down and when it's so hot I have trouble eating which leads to crashes and other icky feelings. I try to keep bananas around at all times (they always sound good to me) and other quick-to-eat things. It's no fun at all.... I'm glad everything turned out okay for you!

Ever since my phone's OS updated, it hates loading MDC properly and now I can't see any posts i wanted to comment on. I'll just have to come back later.
post #14 of 66
Thanks for everyone's input! I normally avoid ultrasounds when there isn't a clear indication one is needed, but I have not, yet, successfully visualized a 'normal' birth- everything is either far too easy (like a water balloon slipping through wet hands) or involves serious interventions. That is, of course, what engineers are trained to do- look at extremes- but this is unlike my other births where I had complete trust in everything. Before I make an US appt, I want to discuss what we could learn from it with my midwives.

Regarding the heat/dizziness, when I am around any warm/hot and still air, I get very claustrophobic feeling- like I can't breathe or think clearly, but it isn't quite dizziness. I do know that dizziness is one of the symptoms my midwives ask every visit. My only dizziness has happened under normal temps when I go from sitting or laying and the standing up and moving quickly.
post #15 of 66

mirandam: omg, if my husband came up to me with a list of additional things "to do" 3 or 4 weeks after I pushed a whole child out of my vj, bled like I'd been shot, barely slept, dealt with raging hormones, and all the other stuff that happens postpartum, he would get the stare down of death. I can't believe he's thinking you can just entertain your in-laws! That would make my blood boil. Please enlighten this man! Perhaps he ought to read that chapter again. Until he memorizes it. :) I mean, it's fine if you feel up to it, but he shouldn't expect you to. 

post #16 of 66

Ascher, HA - maybe I will fwd your response to him :)  I'm convinced he just needs to be enlightened a bit further, he is generally really great and usually when I'm mad about something it turns out to be a misunderstanding.  omg do i hope this has just been a misunderstanding! hahah. 

post #17 of 66
Miranda, is this your first? If so, I promise you that the first week will make things real for him that are already real for you. Just keep reminding him that those first six weeks are about survival and learning. If anyone else is holding the baby, mama will be sleeping, eating, and showering, and that is pretty much it.
post #18 of 66

I'm starting to get my kit together. Do you have a particular flavor/brand of coconut water you recommend for labor? I bought one recently i didn't love.

post #19 of 66

I just bought my birth kit and a birth tub (in the mean time it will be a kiddy pool for DD and I in the back yard)!!  I have been a total wimp with the heat the past two days!  I am sure it is nothing compared to those of you down south , but this mama is HOT!

post #20 of 66

On the subject of dads breastfeeding, if anyone would like some entertainment for the evening as well as enough information to freak out most any man, check out these links on "milk men".





  -The video clip at the bottom of this one is esp entertaining. Why is she in a bathtub?!

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