Weekly chat 7/16-7/22 - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[ascher21]

Oh Calpurnia! I'm so sorry he's making you feel that way!! No one wants to feel bad for being the shape they are during pregnancy, people are supposed to celebrate you and tell you how beautiful you are! I can't believe he's not supportive. Perhaps he just doesn't know how to process the fact that you're pregnant (Like who doesn't understand that women get big when they're pregnant??). I'm glad you've realized how important it is to release yourself from that negativity. I'd distance yourself for a bit (if you can). If anyone in my family made me feel that bad, even my mom, I'd restrict my time with them (and I have in the past).

My yoga teacher told us all that we need to be forgiving of our bodies during this time. They may not be able to run or bend or do what they once could, but they're creating life inside! That's a monumental task! That totally trumps being able to do x number of sit-ups in my book, or ride a bike x number of miles a day. You are a mama! And that's one thing he'll never be able to do!

[calpurnia7]

Originally Posted by dmpkmom 

 Can you build some distance for a short time?

Fortunately, I can build distance.  On Thursday, my father and his wife leave for Colorado for several months.  It's hard, because he means well and I know he loves me, he just has no clue.  But I've decided that's not a reason to put up with his behavior.  Regardless of his intention, it's not supportive or loving.  It undoes all the hard work DH and I have done with relaxation exercises and building a harmonious home for our family.
 

I have so many supportive people in my life, it's time to focus on them!  Like my DH, who has started going to the pool with me on our days off and we swim laps together.  He does chores around the house before I have to ask and tells me how beautiful I look and thanks me for carrying our child.  My cousin who brought over the crib she's giving us, and extra linens and receiving blankets.  She doesn't get natural birth at all but she thinks it's awesome that I'm going to do that and she's going to kitty sit when the baby comes.  My boss, who tells me not to worry about work and focus on becoming a mom, which he says is more important than anything I've ever done before.  And my buddy at my office gym, an older gentleman who uses the elliptical machine next to me during lunchtime workouts and always says hi and asks me how I'm feeling.

[dmpkmom]

oh calpurina, I'm so glad you do have some positive people around you! you are about to embark on such a life chaning event and the changes are hard in some ways and so worth it in every other way.

Another funny thing I found was that w/ bfeeding, especially w/ my first, I actually "looked" thinner obsurdly fast after birth (as in I never want my pic in a swimsuit but would have been somewhat happy with it about 1-2 months after birth). This is not true for all body types of course but I bet if you are fit, you may just have trouble keeping on weight in the early months of bfeeding. I'm not even that terribly fit but that's my story. W my third I think my body will figure out not to let go of the bit of baby fat it wants to keep but for my first...all the bfeeding and rocking/walking all night long was apparently was a work out!

[MamanFrancaise]

calpurina, so sorry to hear of your past few days! I would have a melt down, too! 

The people around me are mostly supportive. My BFF does talk about my "crazy homebirth" often. But most people know not to say anything to my face or I'll likely bite it off and blame the hormones. 

And yes, nursing really helped those pounds come off fast after birth! That was a nice little mother nature gift after the cracked and bleeding nipples. LOL

Had my midwife appointment today. Doing pretty good. 34+2 today. BP normal, uterus measuring 35. Gained 14 lbs so far. Got my homebirth kit.. not much else.

However, I am really not liking this 3 midwife rotation. I feel really connected to one of them. I like the second one a lot but don't really care for the 3rd. It sucks I don't know who I'm going to get. And it sucks that I feel like I can't plan things with them because they seem not to remember everything I say at my appointments anyway.  Whatever, hopefully my super secret UC fantasy will come true. Hehe.

[calpurnia7]

Originally Posted by MamanFrancaise 

The people around me are mostly supportive. My BFF does talk about my "crazy homebirth" often. But most people know not to say anything to my face or I'll likely bite it off and blame the hormones. 

Had my midwife appointment today. Doing pretty good. 34+2 today. BP normal, uterus measuring 35. Gained 14 lbs so far. Got my homebirth kit.. not much else.

Most folks I know thought I was crazy for wanting a natural birth at first, but my friends have been asking me questions about it, and the more explain about the process, the more they think it makes sense.  It's intimidating to a lot of people, but I'm used to that, I guess, after years of explaining why I run marathons.  Not too different!

Your weight gain is amazing, great job mama!  I wish I had only gained 14lbs at this point, I would probably feel much more comfortable.

[MadiMamacita]

ETA: oops! moving to this week's chat thread!