So, hello everyone. I'm Erica. I'm 23 and I have 2 babies under age 2. One is 19 months and the other is 4 months. They are both beautiful and healthy baby girls. they have been such a blessing. But here lately.... I've not had that train of thought towards them. It seems like all they do is fuss and whine for this or that. I'm pulled in 100 directions, their father thinks that I sit at home all day doing absolutely nothing. But yet he comes home to happy babies, a clean house and dinner every night! I just started going back to work, working 11p-7a as a med tech. I thought it would be great, but it has already proven to only add to the mental stress that I'm going through right now. to add to it, my boyfriend has our only phone all day everyday, so I have practically no communication with the outside world, friends or family unless he's around. and there are just some things that i can't talk to him about. Like what I'm going through mentally right now. Today, I yelled at my oldest daughter for wanting to give her sister a kiss. And my youngest? She's breastfeeding alot! I feel like a two legged cow sometimes. I can never get away from her. i got so frustrated today that I just let her lay on the bed and cry. Not for long, but I just couldn't take it. Idk what to do. I feel like I'm the most evil person in the world and don't deserve these beautiful angels that have been given to me. someone please just tell me I'm not the only one and that it is going to get better. I started taking my 50mg of Zoloft today, so hopefully that will help me get a handle on things. But I know having someone to talk to will help to. :) Oh and I forgot to mention we have been having a lot of financial issues too. But they apparently are all my fault. Somehow I managed all by myself to get us into the biggest hole we've ever been in and we have no way out. Everyday, we have to sell something to put gas in the car just to get back and forth to work. Nothing else.
Edited by SuprWmn88 - 7/17/12 at 3:19pm