When did you have people visit? - Page 2

[Tizzy]

We tend to keep to ourselves, I had visitors right away with my first and it was very exhausting. Now we let everyone know that we'll tell them when we're ready for visitors. My latest was born a week ago and we have yet to have anyone (aside from the midwife) over, mind you we've had a crazy busy week with other stuff and haven't really had the chance to invite anyone!

MIL will be coming in another couple days, I might take him over to meet the neighbors tomorrow.

[sapientia]

I don't anticipate any visitors. We have only lived here a year and a half and the friends we have made are not hugely baby oriented or anything. My family will never travel to visit anyone. They won't see this baby til I drive the 800 miles back to FL and if I don't do it 'quick' enough they will blame me for not 'letting them see the baby'.  (epic eyeroll, haha!)

After each of my births it's just been my mom or grandmother coming by a few days later-(no real help at all, no meals or anything). My in laws came to visit after two of our births-but that was after a month. My sis-in-law may visit a few months later. 

However, If I lived in a 'normal' world and people actually did visit, I wouldn't want visitors for a few days edging towards a week.

[purplerose]

with my last two homebirths, we called everyone an hour or two after the birth when we were cleaned and settled. some came over and some waited. i like having family over. i don't at all feel it interferes with bonding or breastfeeding, plus grandparents are thrilled to be able to bond with a fresh new grandbaby! we do not have pushy, rude, loud parents like some others do, though.

[alaskanmomma]

With DD my MIL stayed all day every day during the hospital stay and felt like she came over daily when we went home... talk about WAY too much of her... same thing with DS at the birth center... though she didn't come over too much when we had him home.. Needless to say, she stresses me out and annoys me, so I want her nowhere near my labor and she can come over a few hours after birth :P

We had visitors early on with both kids, but everyone(minus MIL) realized how long an appropriate stay was. I don't plan on having anyone come see this new baby until a few days after birth.

[Mommel]

I'm a solo mama, so I needed help and visits despite being an introvert and not very social... I had one guest every day for an hour or so (everyone brought a meal and helped with a chore or two - dishes, garbage, etc)... for the first two weeks starting with my best friend staying overnight on the first night to keep an eye on us.

[fayebond]

Originally Posted by thursday2 

This would be more than I could take EVER.  

 ditto, she must be really nice the rest of the time or something.  That one, I'd be too sick to let in for awhile.

.

[dannic]

IT has varied to some degree, but we have allowed our parents and my sister first day access (my mom is super baout helping and we all live close by eachother--she takes my kids for a few days...).  Friends and church members (just a few) tend to come by wit h a gift or meal with in the first week.  I always mean to delay visits til after the first week, but then change my mind once baby is here.  Although the last time, I really did not want to pass him around to anyone--"you can look, but not touch" feelings were high, lol.

I'll probably do the same thing with our parents, but try to push back the visits from others to the next week. 

[EcoConsciousMom]

I had my first and only (so far) at home 20 months ago. It was a planned water birth at home in the middle of winter up in a mountain cabin. It was my parents' house, so they were already there. However, I was in the downstairs and they were upstairs. You have to walk outside to go between the two. I didn't even tell them I was in labor, but I think my husband did. Plus the midwife and doula showing up probably gave it away. 

The cabin was at least 2 hours away from all our other family and friends with two closed roads up the mountain. There was a snow storm coming our way so we wanted to give them a good amount of warning to get here, but didn't want them waiting around for hours. We only invited our parents, my brothers and our two best friends (godmother and godfather). Total invited was 9 and 8 showed up (1 of my brothers didn't come).

Since it was our first pregnancy we were trusting the midwife to tell us when a good time was to call everyone. Around Noon my husband called everyone as I was in more active labor, but not yet pushing. I started pushing at 2:20 and she was out at 2:45 pm. My parents heard her cry through the floor, but didn't come down. They are very respectful of my space.

The first visitors were my FIL and his wife to show, quickly followed by the rest. Everyone was surprised that she was already born by the time they arrived. They all headed upstairs and hung out waiting for us to invite them down. Thankfully our families get along well.

Immediately after her birth my husband and I climbed into bed. I got her attached within the first 15 minutes. We relaxed and waited another 15-30 minutes before cutting the umbilical cord, then about 15 minutes later pushed out the placenta. My midwife started a bath for me so I could get cleaned up. Once dressed and in bed again my hubby got everyone from upstairs. It was probably an hour or two from her birth before they were invited down. Then we all guessed how much she weighed and everyone got to hold her.

We had plans and they went smoothly. I think it helped that it was in the middle of the day for everyone to show up. I really enjoyed it and didn't feel tired or stressed with everyone there. Everyone was supportive and calm. Actually many stayed all night and slept over as the snow storm hit. However, they didn't really overstay their welcome as they slept upstairs in my parents section of the house. It made it easier for each person to spend a few hours with us and the new baby. Many of them wouldn't be seeing her for a few weeks or months later so we were more open to them staying longer.

It was actually a very peaceful day. 

(Sorry for the novel. Thought some back story was needed to understand the situation.)

[fayebond]

ecmom, aww, that's so sweet!    If we had out of town family coming, I could see doing that.  Our house could work exactly like your parents except reverse the floors and not host quite so many people.  I too feel anti holding for the most part but don't mind a visit and short time away from cutie if need be.  No one can be grumpy when they hold a baby....

[EcoConsciousMom]

Originally Posted by fayebond 

ecmom, aww, that's so sweet!    If we had out of town family coming, I could see doing that.  Our house could work exactly like your parents except reverse the floors and not host quite so many people.  I too feel anti holding for the most part but don't mind a visit and short time away from cutie if need be.  No one can be grumpy when they hold a baby....

Thanks. My husband and I are actually very private people. We tend to like being just us most of the time. Even though we planned on doing this to accommodate visitors I didn't really want to at the same time. My MIL can be very draining. She is so sweet and kind, but just drains your energy if you know what I mean... Plus my hubby has a great relationship with her so if it's draining me he'll flat out tell her to leave for a bit (without secretly holding it against him). That REALLY helped. :)

So I was surprised that I was so okay with passing her around and having people stay. I wouldn't have changed a thing though. It was a great experience for everyone. 

[Clarasmama]

Our families are all across country, and we just have a few friends where we live now.  DD was born on Friday evening, we got home late Saturday night, and DH had to go to symphony rehearsals for 9 hours on Sunday :(  Our best friends came over Sunday evening with everything they needed to cook me dinner, it was wonderful!  They hung out with me for a couple of hours, since DD and I had stayed upstairs in our room all day long. 

She came at 42 weeks on the nose, and against my better judgement I had finally caved 6 weeks before and let the in-laws buy plane tickets for what "should have been" 2 1/2 weeks after the birth...ya, they ended up being there when DD was 4 days old.  DH was home with me Monday, we cleaned the house on Tuesday (I had to do it...because I was crazy apparently...won't ever clean that soon again EVER), and they came on Wednesday.  I was a wreck.  They stayed for like 8 days and were not helpful.  I cried almost every day. 

My mom came a week after they left and did my laundry, brought me snacks and water every time I was nursing, went up to the guest room and read when she felt like DH and I just wanted "family time"...it was 180 degrees different than the in-law visit.  I had wanted her to come first when DD was 2 weeks old, but letting the others book the flights "because there are black out dates and we have to be able to use the flyer miles" BS finally wore me down.  Not this time. 

Baby #2 is due in early January, but I'll be surprised if he's born before January 21st!  I don't know if my mom will be able to come right away (she's in school then), but hopefully she can.  Then in-laws are planning to come in March for DD's 2nd birthday and to meet the new baby.  That works much better for me.  We'll have our best friends over in the first couple of days, but other than that it'll be peaceful and quiet with NO cleaning this time :)