I'm new to the group but already thankful for it! I had an unplanned c-section almost four weeks ago and am really struggling with everything that accompanies a c-section. My husband has been wonderful, but I feel like he is getting tired of me talking about my struggles with the c-section. I KNOW I should be thankful to have a healthy baby boy, but I can't help but feel really sad and angry at everything.
We went to the hospital so excited. I had preeclampsia with my first child and was induced at 35 weeks. I couldn't deliver at the hospital in my town, my son was in the NICU for 10 days, and the experience was far from what I had planned. So with this delivery I was so excited to have it be a "normal" delivery. However, just after receiving my epidural for pain it was discovered that the baby was breech. I started crying the moment I was told a c-section was necessary and didn't stop for what seemed days. After surgery I had a bad bleed and my hemoglobin levels dropped pretty low which made me feel even more exhausted. After going home I felt ever worse, ended up in the ER, and my hemoglobin levels dropped to 6.9. I've always been a strong, independent person and I feel like this csection has made me weak and needy. I'm not used to not being able to do things for myself and that has made these past few weeks difficult. On top of that, I thought I'd been feeling better by now, but nearly four weeks out and I'm still feeling a lot of pain.
I just feel so sad...like this c-section ruined what I had hoped to do during my maternity leave. I find that I'm too exhausted to play with and give the attention my first son needs. I'm aching to just hold and squeeze him like I did before but the thought of doing that terrifies me in case he were to accidentally hit my incision.
I am thankful for this group--that there is a place where I can voice my feelings to people who understand.