A Saner 2ww: Sturgeon Moon

[zenquaker]

This moon cycle is named after the sturgeon, a large freshwater fish.

Let's think of water and fluidity, of life as a continuous cycle, and of letting ourselves join the stream of life with the sturgeon.

My best wishes for peaceful, contemplative, and supported 2wws for everyone!

[happy2bamama]

Thanks for helping us make the switch, zenquaker 

[SandyLoam]

Congratulations, Zenquaker! Wishing you a very healthy, happy pregnancy. And thank you for the new thread.

[Megmoira]

Congratulations, Zenquaker! 

And thank you, yet again, for the place to put my mind in a calm place to be!

[BeagleSmuggler]

Just took the HPT, day 32 of my cycle BfP! (Well it's a positive, one line is really faint but the HPT - Clear Blue - said it's still a positive). Planning to re-test Day 34 and see my doctor and ask for a blood test. 

I'm so excited I can barely breathe!

[happy2bamama]

Seriously, the amount of baby dust on these threads is AMAZING!!! Keep it comin'! Congrats 

[zenquaker]

Just to give a little love to those mamas who don't have their positives yet--remember there's NOTHING wrong with you. Sure, there may be some physical issues to work out, but you are all worthy of motherhood.

I know everybody KNOWS that, but it can be hard to FEEL it (it was for me).

Hugs to happy, Sandy, and Meg, and all other ladies reading the thread!

And congrats of course to Beagle!

[keeptryst]

Beagle, congrats! How exciting for you.

Originally Posted by happy2bamama 

Seriously, the amount of baby dust on these threads is AMAZING!!! Keep it comin'! Congrats 

Seriously! Want to get pregnant? Come post in the "Saner 2ww" thread

[nearlyelated]

Thunder moon was good to me to, and at 20 dpo I'm comfortable admitting that I'm pregnant.  Now I need to start the "saner 2 month wait" to the stable second trimester.

It's strange how different I feel compared to my first, at least mentally and emotionally.  With my first I was pregnant first try, took one test and that was it, I didn't really worry about miscarriage, or anything like that, I mean not really.  We didn't tell most people until 12 weeks, but that was mostly because we were following guidelines.  This time around, both DP and I are afraid to be hopeful.  I asked him the other night when we were allowed to be excited and it sort of hung there in the air.   After a miscarriage at 8 weeks last April, followed by a diagnoses of severe cervical dysplasia and surgery, and hen 3 months of really trying and 1 chemical pregnancy, I think we're both still surprised that something has actually stuck.  I find myself resisting the urge to put (for now) at then end of every sentence.

Yesterday some friends came over with their one month old and I think DP came around a little, and after everyone had left we were just chatting about something and he paused and said, "peter, I like that name, if it's another boy".  I think we're both coming around.

These saner 2ww threads have been a blessing, and think the calm I enjoyed because of everyone here helped a great deal.  Thank you, and I hope to see more good news stories.

[happy2bamama]

Hi gals - 

Zenquaker - thank you for your thoughtful check in :)

AFM: My mindfulness, meditation and acupuncture has been doing wonders. This 2WW hasn't been nearly as difficult. I am able to see the big picture rather than getting hung up on this cycle. Until today. I think I am somewhere around day 26 and I have been buzzing along without many crazy symptoms (aside from tiny pink spotting at 19DPO - implantation ). I have been a peace with feeling happy if we are pregnant and also happy to see what kind of period I have, if it comes, since I've been doing so much good stuff for it. Then late last night, I had bright red spotting once. And now it's gone - even after some intense BM's this morning (sorry, TMI!). I am trying to stay in the moment and accept that my cycle could be any which way this month and to not attach any sort of story to what any of it means, but these "mixed signals" (or so they seem to me - to the universe they aren't mixed at all!) are what really get to me and throw me for a loop. My mind wants to figure out what each thing means and that is what I am working on letting go of today. I don't really need to know what any of it means because in a short time, my "muddy waters" will settle and it will be clear. Not always so easy though. Hoping I can let go and/or just be with wherever the next few days take me - even if that's not being able to let go. 

[keeptryst]

nearlyelated: Good to hear you and your DP are getting comfortable around the thought of your pregnancy. Wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby.

happy: yay for a peaceful cycle! I hear you on the muddy waters though, because it hasn't come clear yet for me too - still waiting and seeing. 3 days late today. The latest my period has ever appeared is 5 days late. I've been having AF cramps but no AF. I guess my body will let me know soon enough. In the meantime, trying to relax into the not-knowing and embrace the uncertainty.

[Renaissance31]

I have one week down, one week to go. Sigh. Trying to find ways to keep my mind busy and not think about it.

[dakipode]

beaglesmuggle: how exciting! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that your doctor will confirm things are going well.

AFM: The specialist appt is tomorrow and I'll be 6DPO. I wonder if the timing of that is weird, oh well. It's interesting: I have a hard time relating to other women's experiences of "I'm never late" etc. since my cycles are so much all over the place. In a sense it helps me stay zen in the 2ww because I don't really know what to consider "late"... My LP length tends to vary as well so maybe past CD45 would be late for me.

happy: I feel the same way. I find myself tempted to read into symptoms this time around (more so than the past cycle, that was a pretty zen one for me) and I have to keep reminding myself that the only way I'll know is when AF shows up or not.

Wishing everyone a good week.

[pokeyAC]

Congratulations Beaglesmuggler and nearlyelated!  So happy for both of you!  I hope everything progresses smoothly and peacefully and that you have some beautiful bouncing babies next year!

[writinglove]

hi all,

i second what zenq said. we are all worthy of motherhood on this thread!

happy, i've seen such an amazing tranformation in your over the last month. i'm inspired.

as for the recent BFPs, congrats!, and come join us on the peaceful pregnancy thread during your 40ww.

[Renaissance31]

My temp dropped today, 8dpo. Soooo hard to be peaceful and patient when my head is exploding with what-ifs! Such a mix of excited hyperventilating thoughts of "Oooo! Maybe it's an implantation dip" with disappointed "sigh, not this time" thoughts..... Extra anxious today because I found out DH may end up being out in the field during my next two fertile times, depending when they decide to fall. Ugh!
Calm Happy thoughts to all .... And baby dust too!

[happy2bamama]

Originally Posted by Renaissance31 

My temp dropped today, 8dpo. Soooo hard to be peaceful and patient when my head is exploding with what-ifs! Such a mix of excited hyperventilating thoughts of "Oooo! Maybe it's an implantation dip" with disappointed "sigh, not this time" thoughts..... Extra anxious today because I found out DH may end up being out in the field during my next two fertile times, depending when they decide to fall. Ugh!
Calm Happy thoughts to all .... And baby dust too!

I feel ya - those what-ifs are what make it hard - constantly being on that hopeful/hopeless edge. Hugs to you 

[porcelina]

I love the idea of this thread! I am in 2ww and spend a lot of time being cool and not thinking about it, but then keep coming back to contemplate my chart! We are trying for number 3. It took us 2 miscarriages, an ectopic, and 2.5 years to begin the first successful pregnancy, so we have to take it all in with great calm and appreciation for what we do have! Thanks for being inspiring, ladies!

[ThePeacefulMama]

I am so grateful for this thread and to have found it. It is just the tone of wisdom and peace that I would like to infuse into my 2ww. 

Congratulations to all the BFP's and also Congratulations to all of those who are still waiting for your BFP's but are exploring how to do it in the spirit of mindfulness. I hope you don't mind if I join you. I have been reading the last several moon's worth of posts, but I hadn't posted in this forum in a few long time. So long ago, in fact, that I had to start a new account (it's been a few years! since my DS was just born, I believe). 

AFM: I am 40. DH is 49. We have one son who was conceived after two years of TTC (and the month in which he was conceived, I was able to have an attitude that is very reminiscent of the spirit of this thread so it feels very good to have found this now). That son, Dylan, was born in October 2009 and will be three in October of this year. We have been TTC again since PPAF returned 12 months after birth. That makes 22 months of TTC with no BFP yet. Some months we tried more actively than other months. Initially after PPAF returned, my cycles were excellent with sufficient LP and everything and then the LP started to shorten. I have only had three cycles where the LP was over 10 days in that time, and most cycles it is 5-7 days (clearly insufficient) with ovulation delayed to day 18-20. So I started making some changes. One of the most significant has been to go Gluten-Free. I have been Gluten-Free (with one relapse over a weekend) for 6 weeks now, and this cycle I am on now is my first completely gluten-free cycle. I do think it has paid off, as my ovulation was on day 12 this time and I am on 14dpo right this very moment. One of the other changes I was making was to incorporate TCM into my quest, and this led me to seek out a practitioner in my area. After a long wait to get in to see her, I had my first appointment with her last night, but she did not do any work on me, we just discussed my health history, etc. She is also a medical doctor, who specializes in Nutrition and TCM (I live in Germany where this sort of specialization is not that uncommon at all!). My first accupuncture treatment won't be for two more weeks, and I will, no doubt, no whether this cycle was a hit or miss by that point.

So, today, I am in the final few days countdown, and I am trying to remain peaceful and mindful about it all. I did succumb to temptation and tested with a cheapo test two days ago and it was a BFN, but I am waiting until the weekend (at least) to test again if no AF shows up. I think staying in this uncomfortable place of NOT-KNOWING is part of mindful practice, and being OKAY with being uncomfortable in that place, Making peace with that feeling of discomfort and letting it be, because that is what it is. 

So that is me and that is where I am right now, and I (again) just want to say how pleased I am to have stumbled onto this thread right now and how grateful to have found others who wish to embrace such an approach towards TTC. 

[happy2bamama]

Hi ThePeacefulMama! It sounds like you are doing wonderful things for your cycle. You and I are quite aligned in that I am also gluten-free (most of the time), tend to have short luteal phases, TTC my second child (my DS took us 18 months) AND we are both at the same place in our cycle AND we both got BFNs a few days ago AND we are both interested in TCM and acupuncture!!!

This is my first cycle since doing acupuncture and TCM (and a bunch of vitamins and other herbs too, as well as Maya abdominal massage) and I have already seen my luteal phase lengthen (like you). It's amazing how fast our bodies can respond. Something surprising that happened to me this cycle is that when I tested a few days ago and got a BFN, I actually believed it for the first time ever. I didn't go to the "but what if..." place - I took what I got for face value and it didn't really crush me or send me into a downward spiral like it normally does. In this moment, I feel very patient and calm about waiting for AF. Although I have no period symptoms (or any other for that matter), but I am expecting that she will arrive and I don't know why, but it's okay! I think I am just happy to be seeing my body change and so it makes me hopeful in the big picture rather than being tied to this cycle right here. How are you doing with the BFN? And how has it been going gluten-free? It can be a big change in itself :)

Welcome!