A Saner 2ww: Sturgeon Moon - Page 2

[pokeyAC]

Happy - Can you tell us more about the Maya Abdominal Massage?  I have heard about it, but have not been able to talk to anyone who tried it.  How was it?  Did they teach you how to do it at home?  I'm sorry about your BFN, but I'm glad you are feeling at peace about it.

[dakipode]

happy2b: sounds like you are in a good place. Funny how you mention that you feel a difference so quickly after changing routines. I do feel like increasing my vitex made a difference for me this month but the specialist sort of brushed it off as superstition...

So I saw the specialist and basically I'm waiting for AF to start actively trying to figure out my fertility issues. On the one hand of course I'd love for this to be the cycle that I get a BFP and then I won't have to mess with the doctors at all, but on the other hand I hope that having started the process of figuring things out will help me feel less down when AF comes because that will mark the beginning of a new process and renewed hope.

I'm taking it one day at a time for now, partially dreading the day my temp drops and BBs deflate (it's almost as if they get disappointed too ) and then also a bit excited about starting the medical work up so we can whip my system into shape (or is it submission?).

[ThePeacefulMama]

Happy - Wow... those parallels are really amazing!!! I'd also be really interested to hear about the Maya massage.

I'm quite okay with the BFN. Of course, I would have preferred a BFP, but It was very early to test so a bit of a longshot.

The Gluten-Free change had been VERY hard for me. I am already (overall) a pretty healthy eater, so on one level, it just further improved the quality of my diet. But on another level, I've gone through anger, grief, sadness, jealousy (that DH can still eat fresh bread and I can't), etc. I have good days and bad days. If the reaction when I ate Gluten wasn't so extreme, there is probably little likelihood that I would've stuck to it. I do feel much better off the Gluten, but I still have huge cravings for it. I have a good support network of other Gluten-free/Celiac friends online, so that helps.

I can't wait to start acupuncture treatments. First treatment is in two weeks, and even if I get a BFP between now and then, I intend to continue with the acupuncture since it is reputed to also help prevent miscarriage by creating a nourishing environment to sustain pregnancy.

[happy2bamama]

dakipode - What you describe is where I'm at too, in a sense. Not that I want AF to come, but it is gratifying to be making changes and seeing shifts (even if it isn't a BFP... yet). Vitex seems to be quick acting! I'm glad you're seeing some changes from it as well :)

thepeacefulmama - I'm sorry going GF has been tough. I find that the more I eliminate in my diet, the more I'm like, "Now what do I eat?!" It can be hard to get excited about eating if you feel like your'e having to steer away from lots (especially if you love those things). Have you tried any of the GF breads? I wasn't a huge bread eater before, so I don't miss it too much, but I am picky about GF bread and I've found that Udi's bagels (slightly toasted) are the closest to regular bread. And for pasta, there's a brand called Schar that is SO good - I can't even tell it's GF. I make it for my whole family and they all love it. I can only find it at Sunflower Market.

pokeyAC - the woman who does the Maya abdominal massage in my neck of the woods is amazing. Here is her website:

http://www.fertilebeing.com/

And, here's a link to an article she wrote for Mothering about Maya massage...

http://www.fertilebeing.com/uploads/pdf/mothering_mayan_womb_massage.pdf

I loved the massage and talking to someone knowledgable about fertility, cycles, etc. From what I understand, massaging this area helps bring fresh blood there and helps stagnation dissipate. It supposedly great for all things cycle-related and I'm using it to help a few things: fertility, short luteal phase and also change my sometimes brown bleeding to fresh, new blood. I also tend to have digestive stuff going on AND had a mild uterine prolapse after I had my DS, so it helps all of that too. She taught me the self-care and I do it every night for 5 minutes before I go to bed (you can do it anytime). You're supposed to stop doing it 5 days before you expect to bleed and hold off while on your period. That is partially why I am excited to see AF - I wanna see if my blood quality has improved. I would highly recommend it as doing the massage makes me feel more connected and in tune with that whole area. It all feels so much softer and happier now. 

As an aside, my DH went to see her for the same massage for his sperm quality. When I told her the results of his SA, she asked if he'd had hernia surgery. I said yes and she said that sometimes getting a hernia repair (in which they install mesh lining) can sort of lock everything up and the massage helps things get more blood and work better. My husband loved it too and he does the self care every night as well!

[pokeyAC]

Thank you for the info.  That sounds lovely!  That it helps digestion is also great.  I'm excited to hear how it works out for you and your DH.

[Renaissance31]

Thanks for the links Happy! I'd never heard of this either and I am definitely intrigued.

[bdavis912]

I so need this thread right now. I'm six weeks away from graduation nursing school and I am a big mess right now! Need to remind myself to take it one day at a time, breathe, and just focus on school and stay optimistic. Good luck everyone!

[keeptryst]

Hi all, and welcome to all the new ladies, this thread is really thriving!!

happy - so glad you've opened yourself up to all those good things. Regardless of the outcome it does feel good to be doing the best we can with what is in our hands.

AFM - I'm six days late today, and the last time I was this late was when I was pregnant with DS. A few days ago, I remembered I had a hpt somewhere in my closet that I'd bought in the thick of my ttc journey and never got the chance to use - so I dug it out and found that it had expired. As I turned it over in my hands, I remembered how unsettling and rushed it felt finding out with a hpt when I was pregnant with DS - of course I was shaking with happiness and over the moon - but it was rather tumultuous to be thrust suddenly into that new world "I'm pregnant!" and have all those emotions and fears and hopes swamp me all at once. I also felt a sudden distaste at the thought of buying another plastic stick to add to the expired one that will ultimately get dumped into the earth just because I wanted to find out ahead of time. There was a definite inner prompting to give hpts a miss altogether. This is rather inexplicable because I wasn't feeling like this before when I had bought the odd hpt or two over the last two years.

This time I feel called to a more mindful, unhurried, simple pace - just content take it one day at a time and let my body clue me in at its own pace, instead of being given a verdict by an external device and my mind. To be peaceful and happy knowing all is well, no matter what the outcome. If this is a random crazy cycle and AF comes tomorrow, I would welcome her. If I'm pregnant, I'd like to let the process unfold with as much lack of fuss and fever and fret as the blooming of a flower. Just being one with life.

I felt like a bit of a freak to be feeling like this, so I googled to see if there were other people who felt the same way, and found this great blog post that expresses it more eloquently than I could have ever done: http://www.firsttheegg.com/on-not-using-pregnancy-tests/  (the last comment on the blog is mine).

Of course there's a part of me that just wants to know and get it over with, but I want to honour that guidance welling up from within. So here I am in what has become a 3ww and counting

Edited by keeptryst - 7/26/12 at 12:07am

[pokeyAC]

keeptryst - What a beautiful attitude you have!  Thank you for sharing the link to that blog.  It looks really interesting.  I will be reading over it today.

bdavis- Welcome and good luck with finishing up school.  That's quite an accomplishment!  Breathing is always good.  I will be remembering to do that myself.

[SandyLoam]

My 2-3 week wait has ended happily! I tested yesterday at 14dpo (cycle day 35) with a Clearblue Digital using fmu and it said 'Pregnant 2-3 weeks'! Wow, I couldn't believe my good luck. Then I went to the doctor and had a negative urine test just before noon. They sent me for a blood test, and got a call today that it's positive!

I've had early losses in the past, so I know I'm not out of the woods yet. I thought about waiting longer to test (since I was expecting a negative anyway), but realized that because of my history I wanted to know if I did conceive and had a chemical pregnancy. But I feel really, really lucky that so far this cycle has worked out for us!

Good luck to everyone else in their two week wait!

[dakipode]

Congratulations, SandyLoam! I wish you all the best in this pregnancy!

[deborahbgkelly]

I am not yet in the 2ww but will be on vacation during that time. I wanted to say that I am also gluten-free and using acupuncture. I'm also dairy and soy free. If anyone needs tips and/or recipes, hit me up for them.

[porcelina]

Yes, keeptryst, thanks for sharing that post and your attitude. I am feeling much more calm and good about waiting for my body to give me information. I also want to know, though, if I have a pregnancy because having had an ectopic in the past, I am at risk for another (which of course could be life threatening) so I will probably test if I go a day or two late, but I really love this attitude.

[dakipode]

I am not doing a very good job at staying zen. I'm trying to distract myself and keep busy but I'm done with the waiting already. I feel like I've been waiting forever and now I need to wait a little more.

Today I'm doing laundry, knitting, reading, I already made a salad for lunch and played tennis this morning. I may have to start looking through old to do lists for neglected tasks and actually start doing them! Today definitely feels like a day to take action rather than to reflect, it'll just get my mind going too much.

Wishing everyone else a good day!

[keeptryst]

It seems quite clear that I'm pregnant, I remember those first trimester feelings well from my previous pregnancy. This time around there has been no ecstacy in realizing it, simply a quiet awareness that what was meant to be has come to pass in its own good time. Still taking it one day at a time in this delicate beautiful space.

All the very best to you wonderful ladies on your journey. Wish you peace and may each of you attain your heart's desire.

[dakipode]

Hooray, keeptryst! Congratulations! All the best to you!

[porcelina]

That is so awesome, keeptryst! I love that -- a "quiet awareness." Congratulations!!! Wishing you a peaceful and happy pregnancy!

I am beginning to wonder whether I am developing that too, as I am about 1-2 days past due. I have a feeling of fullness which I recognize from previous pregnancies (though I have felt it before and been wrong).
 

[pokeyAC]

Congratulations Sandy and keeptryst!  I hope everything goes smoothly for you for the next 8 months and that you have peaceful, healthy pregnancies.  We are having a lot of success in this thread.  It's wonderful to see.

[writinglove]

congrats, keeptryst! come join us on a peaceful pregnancy when you are ready, and if you so desire.

[writinglove]

congrats, keeptryst! come join us on a peaceful pregnancy when you are ready, and if you so desire.

congrats, sandy. best wishes for a happy and healthy 40 weeks. i'll invite you to join the peaceful pregnancy thread, too.

daki, i hope staying busy did the trick.

pokey, my fingers are crossed for try #8 in august. 8 in 08 sounds numerologically auspicious to me (i have no knowledge of numerology).

be well, all. here's to living life rather than waiting.