I don't know if this is PPD or not....maybe I am just selfish. But either way, I am having a hard time. We have a 6 year old son and a month old daughter. We are practicing attached parenting; breastfeeding, co-sleeping, wearing our baby, etc. (A little back story - my son is from a previous relationship and our daughter is my husband's first child). But lately I just want my freedom, I want to sleep all night without interruption, I want to be able to leave the house without having to pump for days to make sure I have enough milk stored up. I want my husband's life. He works early in the morning, so I don't wake him to help with the baby in the middle of the night and he gets to go out and leave the house without a second thought. I bartend 2 nights/week for no more than 4 hours per shift. My husband takes care of the kids while I am gone. It seems like this is my only "adult" time. My MIL comes over during this time to be an extra set of hands for my husband. I was just told by her that he seems pretty "stressed out" and he really should be able to have some "me time" to destress from it all. I just about lost it!!! I get almost ZERO "me time" and am with the kids all of the time.
I am at the point where I want to bottle feed so I can get a break, and am feeling deeply guilty about this as I am well-versed on the benefits of breastfeeding (my son was breastfed for 18 months). I don't know what to do!!