We just moved to Florida a few months ago. DS1 is 8, with suspected Aspergers syndrome. The only official DX so far is ADHD, ODD, and Anxiety disorder. I am trying to get him in with a ped-neuro for a full evaluation. Over the years he has been to ped neuro and mental health docs who suspected ASD, but said he was to young to be diagnosed.
He has been homeschooled mostly due to difficulties with public school.
I contacted the special ed department of the school district we live in a few weeks ago to find out how to go about getting him and IEP and in special ed classes. He is behind considerably in almost every subject despite years of one-on-one home schooling.
Last year I enrolled him in PS and was promised a quick IEP and the help we had been hoping for. At the end of the 90 day time limit I was called in for a meeting just to be told that they had not actually had the time to get to the evals they were required to do, they had not done the Phy eval, the IQ test, or any other test. I was told that his attendance was poor and that they didn't agree that he needed services. I was devastated and felt lied to and betrayed, so I pulled him out, and did my best to home school for the rest of the year.
Now I feel like I have failed him. He saw a Psychiatrist about 18 months ago that said his IQ was borderline and that I should not expect anything more from him than to need to be cared for for life.
Now for the question part, the local school district told me that it didn't matter how many DX's I brought them from a Dr, that they had to do there own test, and that they were not obligated to give him ANY services or accommodations until they had completed those.
Is that really true? Am I really expected to put him in a class room of kids in 3rd grade when he cannot read or write, or add or subtract. The rest of the class will be reading and writing proficiently and multiplying and dividing, they will be so far advance that he will surely stick out and that is were the problems start. He then gets teased, and he is super sensitive and his feelings are so very fragile. Once he feels belittled and ridiculed he will stop trying and he gets heartbroken because he does not understand peoples ability to be so cruel. And then how do I continue to force him to return everyday to such an emotionally traumatizing environment?
The alternative though seems just as bad, to keep him home and sheltered from the cruelty of the word, and do my best to prepare him to someday join it. Am I coddling him to much? would it be doing whats best for him to just throw him out there and hope he toughens to it? after all I will not be able to protect him forever.