I feel cheated

[SM360]

Hi I new to this site and I am finding comfort in the experiences you have all shared. I had an emergency c-section just over 12 weeks ago and I feel cheated, hurt and angry about my experience. I had a challenging pregnancy with high blood pressure and twice daily insulin injections for gestational diabeties. I had significant bleeding up to 16 weeks. At 12 weeks I was told I was facing a medical termination as I had a 1:9 chance of Trisomy 13. A CVS cleared us after two agonising weeks of uncertainty. My OB made the decision to induce me at 39 weeks because I was on insulin. I had the tape, 4 lots of gel and had my waters broken. I was then put on the sentosin drip. I felt labour come on hard and fast and decided to have an epidural. However it wasn't inserted correctly and didn't work. After a few hours they took it out and inserted another. Not long after that the vomitting started. After 40 hours they told me bubs and I were in danger and I required an emergency c-section. We consented we wanted both of us to be safe. It didn't take long for her arrival and they showed us our beautiful little girl. Then they took her away to the special care nursery. I begged my partner to leave me and stay with her as I didn't want her to be alone. When they were fixing me up I started feeling intense pain and my blood pressure dropped. They gave me medications through my drip and increased the spinal block. I vomited all over myself and felt complete terror, and felt alone without my partner by my side. It was 3.5 hrs from delivery until I returned from recovery. When I returned to my room I had a nurse yell and abuse me as my partner had supposedly left the ward with our baby, when in actual fact he was on the special care nursery with her. The nurse also yelled at him when he returned to my room after she had her blood sugars stablished. The nurse then kicked my partner out of the room saying visiting hours were over. We were naive and my partner left. I feel robbed of that family time and that I couldn't confide my fears about what happened on the OR with my partner. I was intimated and should have stood up for our rights, we were also both exhausted after 40hrs. I am also dealing with the fact that my attempts to breatfeed have been unsuccessful. My head tells me to be grateful our daughter is healthy but my heart feels differently. I am trying to put it behind us but it's difficult. I too scared to discuss having another child. If you have read all of this thankyou, I feel a bit better for sharing it.

[LLQ1011]

First i am so sorry. You were def cheated. I would file a formal complaint with the hospital about the nurse. That hhrlped me find some closure.

Im so sorry. Its going to suck. Its hard to not look back and be angry. there are support groups as well as counsellors who specialize in birth trauma. Talkinga bout it helps.

[SM360]

Thankyou talking about it helps. I have filed a complaint so we are waiting for the next step. I am not normally one to complain but feel I need to in order to heal.

[LLQ1011]

Make sure too if you don;t get response that you file again. Also I wrote a letter to the head administrator just is case. I also went online and left bad reviews on every possible outlet I could.

I'm so mad for you. What hospital was it at? This makes me want to make a website where people can go to see the stories about hospitals in the area.

[fayebond]

*HUGS*

My bubs woke up but I will be back another day, in the meantime, know your feelings are 100% valid.

*EXTRA HUGS*

[fayebond]

You can be completely happy about how healthy your daughter is and completely unahppy about the way you were treated during and after the birth.  I love my DD, but I do not love my CS scar, or the lies and drama that went with it (not as obvious as yours, they took me away from DH before misbehaving so I have no one to prove what happened).  Please do complain, I complained about the one verifiable problem we had and both the hospital and my OB got back to me with an apology and said tehy were adding some new oversight rules to fix it for next time.  I probably should have told them everything that went wrong but I found it hard to admit to myself that I basically got duped (and also, its hard to articulate one's feelings while pantless, just saying).  Be loud, be honest, be nice ifyou can, and I pray it all helps the next mama who goes there.