Provocative title, eh?
My 7 year old ds is "gifted," with "borderline" ADHD, some sensory sensitivities, and anxiety. He does very well at school academically, but gets in trouble at school sometimes for not paying attention/following directions, clowning around, not obeying the teachers....
My friend's ds is the same age, and the above description applies to him as well-- except that he has just been evaluated and judged NOT having ADHD, or anything else. My son was also evaluated, by a different psychologist.
Honestly, I was shocked to hear that my friend's ds did not get an ADHD diagnosis and mine did. It's not "sour grapes" or anything-- you'll have to take my word for that!
I have known both boys well their whole lives, and my friend's ds seems practically the definition of hyper. At our last playdate, for example, he climbed onto my dining room table and tried to stick a toy into the ceiling fan, leaped from my coffee table to couch repeatedly, shot me in the face with a nerf gun (he admitted it was on purpose, with a smile!), jumped up and down on their car's roof, locked my ds out of his own room (repeatedly), climbed up my trellis (repeatedly), dumped salt and pepper onto the table, and more! This was a typical playdate. His mom and I told him to stop, but he doesn't listen, and she doesn't usually follow through.
I've seen her ds in many different situations, and he always acts like that. According to my friend, he acts like that at school too (hence the evaluation). On his worst day, my ds has never acted anywhere close to that!
Maaaaany people have insinuated, or said outright, that I am too soft on my ds, and that what he needs is a spanking/whupping/kick in the pants. This is ironic to me, because from what I see, even though I don't use corporal punishment, I seem to be stricter about behavior than a lot of parents I know! Of course, when my son is acting out, or has gotten in trouble in school, again, I question myself. I think, maybe "they" are right-- I am letting him be a "brat" by not coming down on him hard enough. It appears that that is my friend's ds' issue-- he's acting like that because he can get away with it!? What do you all think?