Today my lecturer made a very cutting and hurtful comment to me in class. This isn't the first time I felt he didn't like me, but I brushed it off as being in my head last time.
Now it doesn't feel like it anymore.
At the beginning of the lecture he turned to me and said
'I'm getting a weird vibe from you. Like you don't want to be here or something ... like I'm getting an attitude.'
and all I pathetically said was 'No'.
It was in a very singled out way he said. It was embarrassing and it was the first thing he said to me. No hello or anything and I have a class with 4 people. So all 4 heads were tuned in.
For the next 3 hours however I was in a bad mood and very upset. I had actually been really looking forward to that class. I wanted to cry but I I didn't and it was a struggle to stay composed and more so because he kept asking me for the answer to questions which all I said was I don't know because I couldn't concentrate and I felt like I'd lost my voice from fear. The whole time felt like torture. I couldn't talk to anyone and kept my mouth shut the entire lecture. At the end of the lecture my friend talked to him a little bit while I stood there waiting for him to finish. After a couple of minutes I excused myself and said I would wait in the halls. I didn't say goodbye to the lecturer. As I left I heard him say to my friend 'in a rush today?'
Anyway. The lecturer clearly has a bad impression of me, and a part of me hates him, but another part of me, blames myself and thinks I'm making a huge deal out of it and if I were a guy I would just brush it off and not care, but I can't stop thinking about it. What did i do wrong to make him hate me? As soon as I got in the car I was crying my eyes out. All my other lecturers love me apart from this one guy and its driving me insane. What to I do? I don't want to be a weepy mess next time I see him but he made me feel so incensed that I can't help but grind my teeth whenever I think about him. which is all the time.
One idea I came up with was to get him a coffee (since he likes those) during consultation time (before the lecture) and mention (ironically) that I got a bad vibe from him last lecture it made me feel uncomfortable is there something that I did
? or something bothering him about my behavior in class...
but my friend who takes the same class and is a guy thinks that's a bad idea and says I should just get over it and its not a big deal.