Not sure where else to post this.
My daughters are 7.5, 6 and 2.5 y.o. My Husband and I separated almost a year ago. I filed for divorce about 1.5 months ago and about 2 weeks ago I finally got through to my husband that I actually mean it. He flew off the handle calling me all sorts of names (I'm a whore, and gold digger etc...) all of that was in front of the 2.5 year old who wouldn't leave my side that evening. He then stormed into the house to inform the girls that he'd be moving back to Japan soon--at bed time and right before he was about to leave. They start wailing. No answers to any of their questions prepared... After he left and I finally got them settled down and in bed he comes back in (I'd forgotten to lock the door) and tells the girls that when he's at the airport going back to Japan he's going to tell them the truth... I kicked him out, and locked the door at that point.
Last week my 7 year old started having emotional break downs at the smallest provocation. Anytime she gets upset she immediately starts screaming. Says she hates me, her sisters, my mother (we're living with my parents right now) and that no one appreciates her... I finally got her talking about what was wrong yesterday, put 2 and 2 together and realized that the break downs are divorce related.
My 2.5 year old won't go anywhere near her dad.
Does anyone have any book or helpful resource recommendations for how to deal with children's divorce trauma? I'd been doing a pretty good job of protecting them from it up till now, but I couldn't get him to stop and listen to me about how it would hurt the girls going in and telling them like that. He was too interested in making me feel bad about how I'm hurting the girls... . He feels bad about it now (only because his youngest won't let him hold her).
Anyway thanks for any advice anyone may have.