There is something so miraculous about having a baby, that makes any rational person want to do it again and again, like some kind of powerful spiritual experience, or a connection with Gd (or your word for that experience). Its the high of drugs that turn people into addicts. At the same time, having a baby, is a fundamentally irrational thing to do, no matter what the circumstances, if putting someone elses needs before your own is irrational.
Having a baby is just plain amazing, and yet completely exhausting and all consuming. Being part of the growth and development of a child, is exciting, watching them grow and discovering who they are, intoxicating.
But maybe all of that is just natures way of tricking us into reproducing. Men get the instant orgasm, women get the above (men get some of it too)
I have 3 now, and dont think i will plan for more. I longed for this third baby for over a year. I know that feeling of a sensing a lingering soul waiting to join my family-the heartbreak of accepting she may never come, and then having her join us after all.
But some part of me will probably always want another baby. I guess thats why its nice to have grandchildren.
On the other hand, its also very nice to get around with older kids and see the world through their eyes, without younger children in tow. Sooo much easier.
I am a spiritual person, and see all of this as a kind of long drawn out prayer, and direct conversation with Gd. A pregnant woman is very close to Gd int he creation of a new human being. On the other hand, i cant help thinking sometimes that we are tricked by nature into this crazy world of reproduction and child rearing. There are a whole lot of hormones at play in the pregnancy/birth/young baby/child world, and its understandable that there is a reflex to do it again when the time comes.