Hello Everybody. I've been away for what seems like many moons. I think my last post was in April. I didn't intend to be gone for so long- at first I was legitimately busy with planning my good friend's baby shower in May but then after that I've been in a ttc funk which maybe I'm gradually climbing out of.
I have to say Congratulations to Cananny!!!!!!!
How exciting! I know how long you have been trying and you and DW have gone through so much in this process. My happiness for you is beyond words. You getting pregnant is actually somewhat inspiring for me. I think we are about the same age (36).
I'm sorry to hear that RS11 has to take a few month break. I know how agonizing this could be. I will be thinking about you.
Since I've been gone for a bit there are many new "faces" here to me. Hello. Hello. A special prayer to everyone in the tww.
AFM: So lots been going on for me and DW. We found a really nice kd from Oregon. We have tried with him for three cycles now - doing home ICIs with shipped fresh swimmers. Kd is so organized and communicative..it's nice and refreshing from our last kd. Also I've started to see a naturapath. This is something I've wanted to do for some time but just couldn't afford it. The first visit was 250$ out of pocket. She has started me on Wobenzym - which is supposed to help with inflammation (i have a hx of endo). After analyzing my temp charts, she has told me that I'm estrogen dominant and wanted to change my diet to incorporate cruciferious veggies that have something called DIM in it which helps to regulate the estrogen in my body. So lucky me everyday I eat a serving of either broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, or bok choy. I have also recently gone back to acupuncture as well.
The two biggest challenges since I've been away have been the following 1) DW and I had really been arguing alot and nearly got to the point of separating. It wasn't necessarily about TTC process. After two years of ttc, it feels like we don't necessarily have to be talking about ttc to be arguing about it. It's the pink elephant in the room - and if either of us were having a bad day we would find someway to weave it into the discussion. After some focused work on connecting, we have been doing better. I think we might have had one tiny argument in the past two weeks. This is unbelievable improvement.
2) Our really good friends (lesbo couple who had been ttc for 2 1/2 years) had their baby boy at the end of June. We are really close to them. We probably see them at least once a week. They are extremely sensitive and supportive to us but recently it's been a little difficult for me to be around their son bc of how much I want a child of my own. Also, although I care about my friends and want them to have the support they need, it is a little hard to hear about them connecting with other new lesbo parents in the areas. It's a club I want to belong to so badly. To boot, my sister who is 2 yrs younger is about 6 1/2 months pregnant too and I'm planning her a shower. I really wanted to at first but now it's wearing on me. I'm finding myself a little less enthusiastic than usual for this one.
It's hard bc at this point I don't know anyone else, gay or straight, ttc. Every time I hear about someone ttc - it's not too long before I hear that they are pregnant. I feel like I'm a weird lucky charm to help other people get pregnant. I don't mind that other people are getting pregnant, it's more that that I feel so alone in the "not pregnant but want to be" category. Maybe this is the biggest reason I am back here. I needed to be among a community of women who get what I'm going through. So thank you all for being you and I'm looking forward to hearing about your lives and soaking up some of your wisdom.
Please put me on the "waiting to O" list- merci