Queer Conceptions - August 2012 - Page 12

[outdoorsy]

Mrsandmrs - I hear you, but I don't think a woman is infertile from Day 1 just cause she's a lez. She should have to try with sperm like everyone else before she gets thousands of $$$ worth of specialist treatment covered. However, in this case, I was diagnosed as anovulatory via u/s last cycle, and temps from previous cycles suggest it happens a lot. Ergo, I may have no egg maturing on a regular basis and not much hope that sperm alone will do it. This is a medical condition. It deserves coverage regardless of whether I'm a lesbian. I think the question is going to be whether the insurance company thinks I've proved my problem is chronic vs. something likely to turn around on its own. Then again, maybe I'm giving them too much credit! But they *have* covered well over a G of bloodwork and u/s for screening and diagnostic purposes.

[erinTNgirl]

Ok so I need some advice on meds please. I really don't want to have to drive an hour
yo several appts for a fertility specialist yet and miss tons of work. My doc told me that
there are other options. Would Clomid help my chances of at home IUI or shoul I just
make the trek every month?

[Cananny]

Well there is three babies three heartbeats omg

[JustAnotherJenny]

Cananny!

Holy $h!t Sticks!

Congratulations!!

omg!

Wow!

Woo hoo!

Well, butter my biscuit!

Does that cover it?

[pokeyAC]

OMG is right!  Holy crap.  I'm surprised because your betas weren't super high.  Shocking.  That's a hell of a birthday gift.  BTW, Happy Birthday! 

outdoorsy - I agree with you.  I don't think we should be considered infertile just because we're queer unless you define infertile as not having free access to sperm.  You have documented cycles where you were trying to be exposed to sperm and working with healthcare professionals.  I think those should count.  You don't know until you talk to someone.  It might not be a big deal.  I have Kaiser which is an HMO-type plan where I can only go to Kaiser for any covered services.  I love it because everything is in one place, the dr's offices, labs, pharmacy, etc.  I had to get a referral to the fertility dept and then take a class on the "Art of Fertility" before I could see the RE, but I didn't have to prove infertility.  We started with them because they could do the IUI's for us for pretty cheap.  At the first appointment the RE talked about trying Clomid and monitored cycles, and I was like Whoa!  I don't think I need that.  There's nothing wrong with me.  I just need a little help.  They were just used to dealing with infertile people.  I'm glad we started there though because when we realized I did need a little more help, we were already good to go.  I'm glad they didn't make me try a bunch of times before I could get some help.  The difference for me is that my insurance covers 50% of fertility including all the screening so I have had to pay for bloodwork and ultrasounds.  Anyway, that's my .

Erin - What options did your doctor mention?  You might be able to work with your doctor and not see a fertility specialist.  I suppose it depends on what services your Dr can offer and if they are covered by your insurance and if your insurance covers fertility services with a specialist.  Taking Clomid might help you make more eggs and you could still try at-home IUI's.  I personally feel more comfortable having someone experienced do the IUI so the swimmers get right where they are supposed to go.  We have a midwife who comes to our house and we also have them done at the RE's office.  Also, it's good to have an ultrasound with Clomid though so you can see that your lining is not getting too thin. 

[mrsandmrs]

Outdoorsy - I'm paying out of pocket for everything (although my insurance has covered a lot of bloodwork, that is a different diagnosis code than IF) because my state mandates no IF coverage, but a the reason I mention this is because I have heard through the gay grapevine of people in MA who have gotten their lesbian-induced IF covered on the basis that requiring exposure to sperm prior to coverage is expecting the patient to jump through extraordinary (homophobic) hoops. I'm sure it's a case-by-case basis and they aren't going to willingly cover anything until the state makes them, but discriminating against people for sexual orientation is illegal, and reminding them of that can open surprising doors.

[mrsandmrs]

Also, yes, they should just be covering it because you're having other issues. What a bunch of a-holes. Maybe your doc could diagnose a cause for the annovulation and your insurance company could pay for.... PCOS or hormonal imbalance, or whatever else your doctor diagnoses you with.

[wishin'&hopin']

Cananny...s*t.  Wow.  Hunker down and grow babies!!!!!!!!!! 

[redrockband]

Cananny: Wow wow wow. That's is just wow. I had a neighbor that had triplets when I was younger, what a fun surprise!! 

[sotohana]

Holy fiddlesticks Cananny!!!!!!!!!!!! That is awesome!!!

Wow...just wow! 

[SplashingPuddle]

I have a question... My partner and I are in 2ww for ivf, and our known donor is wanting to start a family and has asked us if we would consider being surrogates for him and his partner. Does anyone have any experience with "reciprocating"? We've also considered giving him any remaining embryos - has anyone else ever given someone else their embryos? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Tara

[gellybeangrl]

Cannanny~ Woooohoooo!!!!  CONGRATULATIONS...   Congratulations....   CoNGrAtUlAtIoNS...   !

Gelly

[pokeyAC]

Tara, That is a very interesting situation! It could be wonderful to reciprocate.  I would suggest also asking this question on the Queer, Pregnant and Parenting thread.  There was someone on there recently who was a surrogate, and there is someone on there who had her children through donated embryos.  Good luck in the TWW!  

[hoping2bmoms]

Omg cannany congrats stick little babies stick :joyv:joy

[invitnconceptn]

Cananny: that is absolutely amazing!! Mama + Mama + three= instant (not really since you had to wait over a year) family. I have a vision right now of you guys having your own TLC reality show about being surrounded in a sea of children as nannies and mommies of triplets.

Outdoorsy: it looks like you are getting some good advice from  folks here. Keep fighting the good fight with your doc's office. I'm sorry if this has been id'd already but do you know what medical code that your doctor has been billing. If being annovulatory has been documented thoroughly via testing, and other diagnositics, it shouldn't matter whether or not sperm is part of the an equation. It is a significant medical issue for a woman to not be ovulating regardless if they are just to get pregnant or not.

Tandy: It sounds you are starting a really nice rapport with your doc around conceiving. That is awesome.

Pokey: Thank you particularly for those kind thoughts. I haven't been in the queer conceptions loop for a while. It sounds like you have been going through a process. What is OHSS? And how is it related to the injectables?

AFM: So all week I had no idea of exactly how we were going to an IUI at my doc's with our kd shipped fresh sperm. Everything went "swimmingly" today. I got my smiley face last night, and donor was able to ship his sperm last minute yday. This morning I had an awesome acupuncture session and had the most amazing and smooth IUI experience at my Obgyn office. So I have been in this ttc process for about 2 yrs now and at this point I'm so tired of putting up with backward attitudes and veiled "homophobic" doctor office policies- I'm sure everyone here, particularly Outdoorsy, are in the same boat.

Just listen the awesome experience we had today:

So I called my obgyn's office at 9:30 to tell them I got a smiley face last night and was on my way to the FedEx kinko's office to pick up the sperm and needed to come in pronto for the IUI. The office was not only able to fit me in within 20mins of my call but also were very enthusiastic to help my DW and I and were so interested in the shipping fresh sperm concept. My doc let us look at our donor's swimmer's under the microscope (they looked like little moving specs of rice) and then offered to give up a 50% discount off the IUI procedure. Seriously I have to give a shout out to Kingsdale Gynecologic Associates in Columbus Ohio for being so kind friendly and appearing somewhat even deferential to same sex couples trying to get pregnant.

I just had a great idea: (maybe this really does exist) but what if there was a national detailed directory of gay friendly fertility resources that included recommended physicians, clinics, etc. hmmm..

Anyway..I will report back when my temps go and stay up.

[cordelia15]

cananny . triplets!!  that is amazing!  congrats. . grow babies grow!!!!

invitenconcept. . that is so great you had such an amazing experience. . 

tara.  I agree with pokey, reciprocating would be amazing but def there are lots of hard questions involved. . I'd give my opinion but really it's so personal it's probably better from people who have tried or done this. . either way good luck with your 2WW! 

[tandy401]

invitn : this is site is very NYC-oriented, but it is kind of like the resource you were imagining. Check it out--   http://itsconceivablenow.com

cananny: wow!!! that is such enormously exciting news!!! congrats!

outdoorsy: any update with insurance? 

pokey and eastwest:  any TWW updates? AFM, i'm definitely expecting AF tomorrow... 

Erin: i know nothing about Clomid, but I'll be interested in what you find out. 

[lisedea]

Cananny--WOW! all I can say is WOW! Congrats! How many mature eggs did you have?

[KnittingTigers]

Hi everyone!

Cananny, so frickin' exciting (terrifying?)! You guys are going to rock it. One of my co-workers has four under four- he and his wife had triplets via IVF, after being told they'd never conceive on their own. Then, three months after the birth, they accidentally got pregnant again! It's so cute to see them all walk around together.

rs11, this is late, but I just wanted to send you a hug and some support. I know how hard it is to feel like this process is dictated by things like money and ridiculously homophobic state laws. I don't have any great advice, just hugs.

Outdoorsy, I know many people in Mass who have gotten around the "exposure to sperm" requirement, and even a few who've gotten their insurance to pay for their sperm. Keep fighting! We're all here sending you strength.

mrsandmrs, nice to see you back! Are you poking yourself with needles yet?

Lots of people in the 2WW, huh? I'm hoping for some more BFPs soon.

AFM, I'm hanging out at 8dpo. I've been having some cramping and tender boobs, which would be exciting if I hadn't had exactly the same symptoms on my last BFN cycle. I'm trying to stay in a place emotionally that's positive enough to welcome in new life without getting overly invested in something that may or may not be happening, if that makes sense. We're actually beginning to consider moving forward with IVF on our next cycle, which seems sort of insane, but I think I have enough money put aside in my FSA to cover what our insurance won't (and it turns out that IVF is way cheaper down here than in the northeast, if anyone wants to come visit for a fertility clinic vacation...). We need to have some more conversations about it, for sure, but it's starting to feel more like a possibility. Funny how far I've come from my first TTC process, which was *very* DIY.

I also recently acquired a TTC good luck charm. When DP and I got married, DP ordered the cake, and bought three tigers to be our cake toppers- two big tigers (me and DP), and one baby tiger (DD, who was 2 then). When we were in P-town a couple weeks ago, a found another baby tiger made by the same company in a toy store, and bought it. I've been carrying it around in my purse since then, waiting to be able to complete our family of tigers. Wow I'm a dork. But there you have it.

Tiger family.

New addition?

[pokeyAC]

invitn - OHSS is ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome.  When you do injectables it hyperstimulates the ovaries and can cause bloating, blood clots and other unpleasant stuff that is rarely serious but you want to be careful with it.  My RE had me go in for an u/s a week after my trigger so they could look at my ovaries and make sure they weren't swollen.  Everything seems fine so far!  Your RE's office does sound very friendly and accommodating.  Excellent find!  I'm sure other folks would love to know about them, especially since so many queer folks out your way seem to be having babies.  I hope you have a wonderful strong O and those swimmers are ready to go when they see that egg and they do their job!