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This cracked me up...response about birth preferences

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

So I was searching for something else and came across this thread called "My OB said what?!" So here was what one woman's OB said to her:

“I don’t know what the problem is with you moms. You want the whole neighborhood there. You want the room to smell a certain way. You want music playing. What’s it matter HOW the kid gets here? In the end you’re alive, baby is alive, that’s all that matters.” – OB to mother while discussing the mother’s birth wishes.

 

So another clever mom wrote this as one of her responses to a doctor like that (I LOVE this):

 

 

“The biological purpose of sex is reproduction. During sex, a man’s heart rate soars, blood pressure increases, respiration increases, it puts serious strain on the body and could result in a heart attack. Therefore, you should NEVER spend your honeymoon in a hotel, oh no, you should be in a hospital.

What’s that? You want dinner, flowers, and a sexy negligee? This is a hospital, not some brothel. This isn’t the dark ages, after all. You’ll be wearing hospital gowns just like everyone else. You brought in your own CD player so you could listen to Barry White? What next, twinkle lights and rose petals?

We’ll hook you up to a heart monitor and BP cuff, and start an IV just in case. If your heart rate gets too high, I’ll have to inject something into your IV to keep you safe. Why do you care what it is, I’m a doctor!

The nurse will measure your penis regularly. You can’t have intercourse until it’s fully erect. Oh, and there will be at least 7 people in the room watching during the actual act. Just in case.

What’s that? You can’t maintain an erection under these conditions? It’s been two hours, I can’t wait all night! You’re failure to progress. I’ll just use this needle to extract the sperm from your testicles and inject it directly into your wife’s uterus. Congratulations, she’s pregnant.

What’s that? You feel like less of a man? You wanted to actually experience sex? Quit complaining! Lots of men can’t have sex. All that matters is a healthy baby.”

post #2 of 6
That is too funny!!
post #3 of 6
Ahhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Read it to my DH and he said "take that OB" haha
post #4 of 6

OMG that's too funny!  I'm going to share that one myself!  

 

OBs and modern science tries to somehow 'quantify' everything about the human experience...somethings, like birth aren't really meant to be quantified.  Birthing should be natural, instinctive and spontaneous....and if someone is going to attend a birth, and interfere with the natural progression it should be more like an art and not just a science.

 

Sure, there's some science involved, but when to utilize it--that's where the 'art' comes in.

post #5 of 6

That's awesome!!! I'm seeing a midwife but at 20 weeks she wants her patients to get checked out by an OB just to make sure they aren't high risk. Of course the appt. lasted about 5 minutes but I told him that my first was 10 days late and my second wasn't but I'm fully prepared for this one to be late. (some of baby's measurements were a bit small, nothing to be concerned about, he's just not a giant but they weren't ready to change my due date) I said that he'll just come when he's ready. And he smiled and said well yes but there is a risk of the baby getting too big the longer you wait, yadda yadda yadda. After he was done I said well my daughter was 7# 7 oz and smiled sweetly. :)

post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by smerkin View Post

 I said that he'll just come when he's ready. And he smiled and said well yes but there is a risk of the baby getting too big the longer you wait, yadda yadda yadda. After he was done I said well my daughter was 7# 7 oz and smiled sweetly. :)

I got the same blah, blah, blah last time too. 

DS was 2 weeks late and weighed 7 lb, 11 oz. rolleyes.gif

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