bedtime battles

[MrsBone]

I really hope someone can tell me that this is just a phase and he'll get through it, but my DS is 3 1/2 and has been battling bedtime for months now..not only that but he wakes up in the middle of the night and tries to come get in bed with us. Now, he coslept for the first 2 1/2 years of his life and before baby sister came a long, we transitioned him to his own bed...even then he still got up in the middle of the night and crawled in bed with us..we didn't mind for awhile..but as he's gotten older, he's become more restless(crawls all over us, sleeps on DH's head, kicks, etc) DH was getting the brunt of the bedtime abuse, and initiated a change. So, we figured out a new routine for bed, and he did good for awhile, but now it's just awful. He just cannot settle down before bed..we've tried everything, quiet relaxing bedtime routine, letting him stay up until he falls asleep(this could be as late as midnight!), bribing, letting him play with his v-reader and etch-a-sketch, and those things will work for a little while but then after a week or so, he's back to the habit of fighting bedtime and getting up in the middle of the night. He doesn't even have a good reason for waking up..he tells me he's hungry and thirsty, but he rarely truly ever is..it's just an excuse to get in bed with us..Well the past 2 nights, I gave in and let him get in bed with us, and instead of crawling all over DH, he started doing it to me. Now I'm not sleeping, and I still have to get up with our 15 month old to nurse her when she wakes. I just don't know what to do. I feel like we've tried everything, and nothing works. I did start giving him a small dose of melatonin to try and get his sleep patterns back on track, and that's helping with him actually going to bed..he's still waking though..I'm just really getting tired of it.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Grr...I feel you, mama! I really can't imagine the sleep issues having a 3 1/2 year old (I found that age really demanding) and a newborn. I know you said you tried everything, which is usually where I feel I am when I come to MDC for help. I had two ideas when reading that maybe you haven't tried. Have you tried/considered letting him sleep in the floor in your room? I thought maybe you could continue with the sleeping in his room but let him quietly come into a little nook on the floor in your room. Also, books on tape were a big, big help for our DC to transition her into her own room. We had different issues though so I'm not sure how that will work for you -- just thought I'd mention it. Good luck getting some sleep!  Oh, and also maybe post in Nightime Parenting for more ideas. 

[MrsBone]

i'll suggest the nook on the floor to DH..he's still pretty adamant about getting DS back in his room. I really would prefer it too, but at this point, I'm willing to do what ever it takes!

[RJones1204]

My daughter is a night waker too! She turned 3 last month. DH and I are all for a good nights sleep (our 2 week old even loves her sleep!). So at this point in life, DD just comes to sleep on the floor. It has been wonderful. It comes down to her feeling safe and secure. She has just developed a vivid imagination and has begun to be afraid of the dark. She might be 3 and seem like more of a "big kid" but she still really really needs both DH and I. Keeping that in mind has made it much less annoying and bothersome to have her in our room.

[WannabeaFarmer]

Our DD is 6 now and has had night waking for almost three years.  The longest stretch she has gone is about a month with no waking.  We still havent figured out how to get her to sleep through the night.  Weird because as an infant(up to age 2.5) she slept like a log.

If I figure it out I will be sure to let everyone know....