I'm struggling with feeling like it's ok to set limits. I was the scapegoat as a kid. I didn't get to have limits. It's complicated being the mom now.
Situation: my kid is four. Neighbor is five. Neighbor thinks that being older makes her the boss and my kid has to listen to her. She backs this up with physically preventing my kid from doing what I say and occasionally punching my kid in the stomach.
I tried to go talk to neighbor kid about this yesterday. Neighbor kid's mom wanted to talk to me and then said she would handle it. She didn't want me talking to the kid. This seems kind of odd to me given that this kid is at my house for 20-30 hours a week. Ostensibly she is being "watched" by grandmother. But grandmother has a variety of mental health issues and is frequently in bed with migraines or depression.
Kid lives in the house of grandmother's (very new) boyfriend because mom left an alcoholic, abusive husband. Now mom has to work and isn't interacting with her kids much. So it's all complicated.
On one hand this kid obviously needs a safe place to go. On the other hand I'm getting sick to death of the nasty looks when I ask them to do things and I'm beyond sick of the bullying.
We've only known her for a few months. Thank goodness she starts kindergarten soon. Any advice? I'm at the point where I'm going to tell the kid when she comes over next, "I am to the point where I am not very happy with your behavior. I'm not your parent, teacher, or day care provider so I have no actual authority. That means I am sending you home the first minute I don't like how you are behaving." But she's five. That seems a bit much. Only I have nothing else I can do. And if I let the first thing slide in a day she escalates quickly.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.