POTTY: wiping properly, what to do with pants, asking strangers

[dolphindance]

TMI at some points perhaps but I'm sure many of you have dealt with the same..

My 3 yr old has been potty trained for 9 months.  He is ready to be completely self sufficient and go alone but I'm perplexed on how to train these last three final steps to independent potty time. 

1) We have always taken pants totally off for him to potty since they would fall off when he straddles the toilet while sitting to pee/poop.  Or if he stands to pee he would struggle on his step stool a little and sometimes get pee dribble on pants when we left around angles.  So now when he takes pants down his self he kicks them totally off right away.  He doesn't seem to have enough balance yet to put pants on by his self while standing and i certainly don't want him to sit on the floor especially in public restrooms, just to get dressed!  Also, he definitely is in the won't-do-for-mommy-what-i-will-do-for-anyone-else stage so he always fusses that "noooo, you take them off and put them on!"  So, do I teach him to leave pants at ankles?  if so, how can he step onto step stool by his self and how does he get onto toilet and do his thing with both ankles in pants? 

2) Wiping...uh have not even tried alone yet and am having a difficult time picturing just how he can coordinate a good clean wipe on his own.  I use baby wipes to finalize the deal when I help him and I know i can teach him to do the same but maybe with flushable ones?

3) He will be attending preschool only 2 mornings starting in Sept. and he is somewhat shy, especially in a big group.  I'm sooo afraid of him being sooo embarrassed if he feels to scared to ask to go to the potty and has an accident.  Once he gets used to a situation he opens up so i know within a couple weeks he will be making friends and like the teachers and feel more comfortable.  But being with me practically 24/7, he's just not used to asking strangers...well for anything.  I know the answer will be just keep reminding him to tell the teacher when he has to go...I guess I'm looking for some success stories of other shy kids in similar scenarios.

[JudiAU]

The first two are issues of coordination and I don't think you can teach them on there own. It is normal for a three year old to need help with both. And odds are, the school will have what we refer to as a "medium sized potty" that is a lot easier to get on and off from.

As for the third, we talk about all of the people at preschool who can help us with the bathroom. Usually there is an aide of some sort who is responsible for potty help but it is helpful to include the names of all the regular teachers. We always use the toilet when we get to school and we pick up and for a bit, discuss who else could help instead of mama.