Ok twin mommas I need a pep talk. I am a labor doula and originally was planning a homebirth until we found out we were having twins and were risked out. Now I feel like so much is out of my control. I am being forced to deliver in an OR cause that is hospital rules. I have to have an IV (not just a heplock), be on constant monitoring, deliver on my back in stirrups, because that is hospital regulations. It goes against everything I have ever been taught about labor. I know these things may be necessary for the safety of myself and the babies but I hate that I have to utilize them even if they are not needed.
I have looked everywhere in my state and there is no reasonable alternative (ie birthing center, homebirth midwives, etc) and every time we go to our centering (group centered prenatal care) group I get more and more depressed as we discuss labor, delivery, and birth since I can answer the questions yet nothing applies to me only to the other couples in the groups who are having singletons. I have come home crying from the last two visits because I am jealous that they are so "normal" and I'm not.
Please tell me that there are positive hospital birth stories and that this is not going to be the medical nightmare that I am envisioning. Please tell me that I will get past this once the babies are in my arms and that I wont continue to mourn the birth I always dreamed of (these may be our only babies - it took a lot of fertility treatments to get here).