I'm looking for some inspiring stories about positive divorce/separation relationships. I know that it can be done, I really want this for myself. So often things turn bitter and angry, it seems.
DH wants to separate. I don't think things are so bad. I posted earlier looking for advice on what to expect. DH has asperger's syndrome, so his thinking is really black and white. He has made up his mind on this and I don't think it will change. We are good friends, although there is really a lack of any marital aspect of the relationship or deep emotional intimacy. We do argue on discipline and parenting stuff, but are basically on the same page. His parents divorced so I think he just has that as a pattern. Mine are still together (and have come through some really really rough times) so it just seems strange to me that he would throw in the towel without trying more. But basically, he doesn't want a marriage. He wants to be alone to focus on work. Relationships are extra hard for him.
So, my question is, given that we really are friends and have good communication and feel a lot of warmth for each other, can I expect that we can go through this in a positive way? We want to stay friends and be good parenting partners. I am very stressed about financial things since that is one area that we don't see the same. I hope that we can avoid hard feeling there, but once you get a lawyer and start the process of who gets what, how is it avoided?
I'm most concerned about our 4 year old daughter. She will not expect this at all since our home life is basically harmonious with just the occasional blow up. In her eyes her world is secure and stable. How can I make this as positive for her as possible? I imagined that we might even go help him move into his new place, have him over for dinners and bedtime a lot, etc. (If I can keep a smiling face and not cry through the whole thing).
Has anyone walked through this and felt really good about it in terms of their relationship with ex and in terms of minimizing the impact on children? I'd love to hear that it is possible and how to do it!