7/29 Weekly Thread « Back to Group Discussions

[esp831]

Giving our sweet Darkblue the day off, plus I have a minute alone with a cuppa decaf.  Let's chat!

[esp831]

Ok, I'll start.  I tried to post twice last week on the weekly thread and both times had typed quite a bit when our computer crapped out.  I just didn't have the energy to start over for a third time, but...

I wanted to say thank you for all of the lovely words and support from you all.  It really helps to have this group to bounce my thoughts and feeling off of.  For all of you who were enduring various challenges, I was thinking of you and sending love your way.  Congratulations to all who have found out the sex of their babies!  We're going to have the sweetest bunch-o-babies around, I am so excited!  Are we getting to the fun part?  Even with the normal pregnancy discomforts, I think I have finally arrived at the place where I truly feel like I am honoring this baby with the way I take care of myself (as much as I can with this busy life) and have cleared a place in my soul to dedicate to this little one.  I think it's mostly due to the fact that I'm finally feeling fairly consistent movement...

I didn't realize how conflicted and scared I was regarding bringing another life into the world until I accepted it, and now I can't wait!  Money/time/body/jobs/school be damned, we're having a baby!  

Travelmumma-I meant to answer your question as to how I'm keeping DD1 busy.  She spent a week with my parents and had a great time!  Why were they not this cool to hang out with when I was a teenager?  But together, she and I have been:  making lots of trips to the library and catching up on our summer reading, watching teeny movies, working on her blog, going to dance class, and talking.  A LOT of talking.  She can talk about her friends all day long, and I find that the more I listen, the more she opens up.  My strategy is to get myself in the know of what's going on in her social life now, so that when things get difficult later, she will be able to tell me.  My mother was chronically depressed and quite absent when I was a teenager, so of course I have vowed to be as present as possible.  It's amazing how many times per day she needs to be validated, and I know it's my job to be her best cheerleader and number one fan.

Our ultrasound is tomorrow, yay!  We are going to find out the sex of the baby, but make our families wait until next weekend, and we'll have a small get together with a cake.  I know that there are more creative ideas out there than cake, but I'm really excited to be able to eat it :)  I've been trying to back off of the sweets lately since I've been spiraling a bit out of control.

We had a great appointment with our MW this week since our OB was delivering a baby.  We had a long talk about ways to increase our chances of a successful VBAC.  She mentioned hiring a doula, and I'm so glad she did in front of DH, so he can get his butt on board.  Poor guy is worried he's not going to be doing his labor partner job if we have a doula, but I think he's starting to see it otherwise.  Our OB also printed off some nice scientific articles on the safety of VBACs for us to show to any skeptical family members.  

I've been home alone with DD2 since Thursday and we're going a little stir crazy.  That teensy little girl is exhausting!  We're off for a nap.  Sorry to ramble, just so excited to have 5 minutes alone without complete chaos.

How is everyone?  Hope all is well!

[Mamabeakley]

I like rambles!  I'm doing lot of sitting around and waiting because my job bought me a new laptop and I have to transfer all my data.  My kids are SO EXCITED because once I do that they get my old laptop to wipe clean and use for games and watching on Netflix.  So I can be really chatty . . . !

Esp, I'm happy to hear that you're feeling connected to the baby and excited!  I'm not quite there yet - I just feel so stressed so much of the time - but I do love feeling the movement, I do love the baby, we will get there eventually.  You know what I tell partners who say "I'm afraid you'll take my place" when I'm interviewing as a doula?  I say that actually, I see a BIG part of my role as being to support the partner.  While I bring love and compassion to every birth, I can't be the person who loves the mama and the baby the most - that's something only the partner can do, and no matter what else he/she does, that's the MOST important thing the mama needs.  And especially in a hospital setting, it is SO HELPFUL to have someone there to fetch/carry/relay messages/spell for bathroom breaks, etc.  I am also always happy to 'coach the coach' so to speak - give suggestions about things that might help to the partner rather than directly to the mama, if that's what the couple prefer.  I've never actually had a doula at any of my births (all at home, midwives and assistants present, didn't feel need for one more person) - and DH happens to be FANTASTIC labor support - so I'm all about helping partners do that, too.  And I think a LOT of doulas are.

We are just back from about 10 days away with DH's family.  It was fun (except for the me not being able to breathe for 2 days, throwing my back out, and getting stung by a bee parts) - 15 adults and 14 kids under the age of 8, total, and most of them were there at the same time for about 5 days.  My goal now that we are back is to have a family meeting to figure out a weekly schedule, because as we homeschool and DH is mostly self-employed, there isn't much of an organic one and the lack of one is driving me crazy (even if nobody else cares - this is my biggest self-care initiative right now!)  But I've got work at work to catch up on before I can do that, and I also need to find us all a doctor since we finally got approved for insurance.

Okay, got to go concentrate since my email files transfered and I have to make sure they all work!

[darkblue0729]

Esp-Thank you mama for starting the thread mama! And I am cautiously feeling like I, too, am getting to the proverbial sweet spot where I am just excited about this baby; so it is super neat to be getting to start to feeli great alongside of you!  You sound like you are doing a fantastic job of staying in tune to what your eldest daughter needs, not that there is really any time that is not crucial during a child's development, but the teenage years are just so dang hard to live through (I always think of the chick on the cover of Hole's Live Through This,lol) and she is so incredibly lucky to have a mom who is hanging in there with her and being present (spoken as person who totally did NOT have that!)

Mamabeakley-It sounds like your getaway was crazy but fun! I hear you about the homeschooling schedule, we desperately need to revamp ours, we used to have a dedicated little room but now that room is DS's so it feels a little crazy at the moment. Hope you figure out something that works great for you!

AFM-I feel so settled now that I know that there is a sweet little boy coming to join our brood! I cannot wait for fall, something about round bellies, apple picking, the trees looking electric with color, is calling to me. I have been a bit (well more than a bit, A LOT) homesick for the northeast; DH and I are really considering making this our last here in Utah, we have been dreaming about buying a little farm for eons and our finances are finally gelling so that we can afford a fixer-upper; so we are thinking that we might move back to the Northeast next year. It's weird but it feels like certain places seep into your bones and it is hard to get them out...so that has been exciting. Mostly just a lot of crocheting and sewing and baking and cooking (and more baking, lol) I hope all is well with you mamas!!

[segolilymama]

Chica - I LOVE the silly string idea! So cute - if I was going to find out, I would copy that idea, for SURE!!!

esp - thank you for your ramble ;) sometimes I worry about burdening everyone here too much, I get those rants in my mind and don't post them b/c they seem like too much (like right now DH has a suspended license, was driving & got pulled over - I don't even want to know how much this is going to cost us, and I'm PISSED!!!). I love how you are connecting with your DD - my DS turned 13, and it's amazing that even as close as he is with his dad, he needs that mama time still, too :)

mamabeakley - I love your doula description - I had a doula with my first, and found her role to be just what you described. I have also acted as a doula for several births, and wanted to be in that exact position, unfortunately the DH's in those cases were absent or useless, so I ended up being more of a labor partner.

I have been spending the last week compiling a grant request for our school - somehow, people think I am enough of a superwoman that I can do a 125 pg grant in 4 days.... fortunately everyone except DP & I went camping, so I had the whole day Friday & Saturday to work on it. Took some breaks to hang with DP, saw the new Batman (so-so), etc. I'm almost complete, will be sending it off tomorrow, and crossing fingers - if I get the grant, I will actually be able to pay myself for the first time in 10 years, which is much needed at the moment! So wish us luck!@

[Eandko]

Travelmum - I'm cheering so loud for you!!!! I love that you found the Mama Bear instinct to stand up to your mom! Birth choices are just the beginning, so you can expect to need to pull that out again many times after the baby comes. Also I'm so thrilled that you found the perfect midwife!!!! Sego - Good on you for taking care of yourself! We had our anatomy scan a few days ago. We chose not to find out the baby's sex, but were thrilled to see our little wiggly bean. Everything looks great! Baby, placenta and cord are all awesome and there was a 1 cm cyst on my ovary. They said it may or may not even be the original cyst that was operated on. Since they couldn't remove it, only drain it, there was a concern that it wouldn't go away and/or it would fill up again, so I'm very relieved. :) At the follow up scan to my surgery the cyst was 2-3 cm with a mass inside (probably clotting) so the fact that it's still shrinking, or has disappeared completely is welcome news.

[Jackies]

esp831, how marvelous to have such a supportive OB!

Mamabeakley, I'm with you on thinking about the homeschool schedule. I freelance, so it's definitely not 9 to 5 for me or anything to anything for DH and DD.

darkblue0729, we moved to the northeast US 2 years ago and absolutely love it. PM me if you come! DD just said she wanted to go apple picking. We went last fall with out homeschool group. It was my first time, and it was definitely a bone-seeping experience :)

segolilymama, good luck with your grant!

Eandko, great to hear about your healing.

Travelmumma, that's so reassuring that your midwife situation has worked out.

I realized the other day that our babies are going to be born over a 2-month + span. Whoa!

[phatchristy]

Sego--hey, I think it's good to let it out.  God knows that you ladies understand a lot more of what we're mutually going through than most!  

From the other thread, I am just going to mention...the papaya is working!  I know it will work for now, but later on nope!  Of course, I am a big fan of tomatoes and spicy foods (of course, huh!) which gives me heartburn.

I am glad to hear so many are excited.  I will say as far as baby goes, yes, the whole concept of another baby is exciting.  Though I'll say I'm worried about what it's going to do to my body, how much time it's going to take to prepare and the fact that DH has a very intense, busy job with long hours and travelling.  Not ideal exactly for having a houseful of kids and a baby.  My mother who traditionally has helped us out the first month or so after baby now is having her own health issues which is likely going to make it more difficult to help much if at all, and my inlaws are no help at all.  They're not kid or baby people really, fairly high maintenance personalities who don't really get 'down and dirty' with real life kind of stuff.

I just have so much to do before the kid is coming, don't know how I'm going to get it done.  And, most people around me are so high deep in their endeavors I don't think they notice things.

I also have a friend coming over this week (my best friend from college who I keep up with on the phone/email).  It's SOOOO different around here than what she's likely expecting.  She's unmarried and single, and she's going to be here with the general controlled chaos of having a larger family which is nothing she's going to be used to.  I hope that having this huge difference in our lifestyle isn't going to affect her enjoyment of her trip down here to spend time with me.  I just have so many obligations and things that have to be done.  

[cieloazul]

Esp -- I love what you said about finding the place to honor this new baby and starting to feel excitement. Me too. It's nice.

Mamabeakley -- Sunds like a fun reunion. Hope your back feels better and that you find a rythm that works for your family moving into the fall.

Darkblue -- A farm in the northeast sounds spectacular. Espcially since I'm picturing your kitchen table plied with warm baked treats :P

Segolily -- Hope you get the grant. Writing a propsal in a weekend is amazing. Go you.

Eandko -- Yay for happy cyst news!

Jackies -- It's going to be crazy when we all start popping. Can't wait to read all the birth stories!

Phatchristy -- I want to bring yuo a cup of tea and sit with you with our feet up for a minute. That's a lot buzzing around you. I hope you can find moments of stillness this week.

AFM, it's a girl!!! I am so thrilled. Funny because in last week's chat thread I said I wanted a boy, which I did, but when the U/S tech said "labia" I couldn't stop smiling. I'm surprised how much I feel like a first-timer with this second preganncy...it's been 6 years so I'm a little rusty on baby stuff, we're in a different country with a different health system, and now we're having a girl and I'm thinking about all the ways that seems like it will be different than having a boy from wiping poopy diapers to braiding hair.

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by cieloazul 

AFM, it's a girl!!! I am so thrilled. Funny because in last week's chat thread I said I wanted a boy, which I did, but when the U/S tech said "labia" I couldn't stop smiling. I'm surprised how much I feel like a first-timer with this second preganncy...it's been 6 years so I'm a little rusty on baby stuff, we're in a different country with a different health system, and now we're having a girl and I'm thinking about all the ways that seems like it will be different than having a boy from wiping poopy diapers to braiding hair.

Congratulations!!!  Super exciting :)

[darkblue0729]

Sego- Good luck mama!

phatchristy- I hope you have a nice visit with your friend, I always feel like I am letting an untrained person into a cage of nutty baboons with my brood. My friend from NY came over for a couple weeks this past holiday season and I think it may have been traumatizing, lol

Jackies- Yessss! Apple picking is so amazing, having grown up in upstate NY, I got so spoiled!

cielo-CONGRATS on a sweet baby girl!

eandko-So incredibly glad to hear that you are mending well mama!

Our rabbit Mr. Kitty has been a mischeivous little fool this morning, lol, hopping around like a mad man! Perhaps it has to do with the carrot cake I'm making? Hope all is well mamas!!

[tropicana74]

Originally Posted by cieloazul 

AFM, it's a girl!!! I am so thrilled. Funny because in last week's chat thread I said I wanted a boy, which I did, but when the U/S tech said "labia" I couldn't stop smiling. I'm surprised how much I feel like a first-timer with this second preganncy...it's been 6 years so I'm a little rusty on baby stuff, we're in a different country with a different health system, and now we're having a girl and I'm thinking about all the ways that seems like it will be different than having a boy from wiping poopy diapers to braiding hair.

Congratulations! That's wonderful. And as far as poopy diapers, yep, the boys are easier....just so many more creases and folds to have to clean out with girls! But dressing a girl is about 100x more fun! 

[AlaskAnne]

esp - so exciting that you get to find out the sex today!  

sego - way to go on your grant application!  I work in fundraising for a non profit and grants are a lot of work (but fun to write when you really believe in the cause).

ceilo - congrats on the girl!!

Like many of you I'm getting lots of movement.  It has taken my excitement for this babe to a whole new level.  I can't wait until we can feel him/her from the outside so my husband can get some of the warm fuzzies.  I even have a SLIGHT bump.  I'm hoping that by this weekend I can take a picture to share with ya'll.  :)

The past few days have been a rollercoaster for us.  Wednesday was our 3rd anniversary and my husband threw his back out at 8am.  Ugh.  It's not the first time it has happened (old HS/college football injury) but it's been about 4 years since the last time, and usually the "episodes" only last for a day or two.  We ended up having to cancel our trip to WA/OR (we were supposed to leave Friday evening) which we were SO looking forward to because there was just no way he could get on a plane.  On Friday he couldn't even stand up and was literally crawling on his hands and knees to get to the bathroom.  It was so hard to see him hurting like that.  He was being really tough about it and I was the one bawling like crazy because I was so worried!  Luckily, he has been improving since then.  After acupucture from his brother and massages from his sister (we have a healing family LOL) he now can hobble around a little bit (although he can't fully stand up).  Hopefully in the next few days we can get him outside of the house.  

As for our vacation, we'll probably postpone it until early October, which isn't too bad because work will have way slowed down for me and the weather here will have turned crappy but will be nice nearly everywhere else.  It was really hard to cancel though because I was so looking forward to seeing my parents and extended family and sharing this pregnancy with them.  :(   Oh well, that's life!!

[travelmumma]

AlaskAnne I'm sorry things didn't go to plan. I hope you still get to do something a bit special anyway??
Ceilo A BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!' I'm so excited for you!!! You lucky duck!!!
Dark Blue- how is the tribe going? You seem busy lately??

AFM yesterday was my first day back at Uni after about a 2 month break..... Urgh. I am exhausted and have an early class this morning. Last night I was so tired that I came home, sat on the couch and cried. I think it's the shock of having to use energy on something other than home and baby making, or as DH calls it "baking" lol
Anyone else having a hard time with sleeping?? I know we are 'meant' to lay on our left side but I just can't hold that position all night, so I wake up freaking out that I am suffocating the baby if I sleep on my right side..... Results in lots of sleepy panic and not a lot of sleep. Stupid, I know but it's so real when half asleep!!
Not much else here,just slogging along!!!

[Mamabeakley]

It's okay to lie on your right side!  As you get larger it will get less safe and WAY less comfortable to lie flat on your back - but I have to put a pillow behind my butt to keep myself from assuming a flat position in my sleep.  Because when I do I wake up with one limb or another most of the way 'asleep' which can't be good!  But either side is really okay, and on your back is okay, too, if you can tilt up one hip a bit (this is what they do with mamas in the hospital with an epidural to keep circulation flowing properly) with a wedge or a cushion.

I just had a massage!  I bartered a childbirth class for it, and it is a huge thing for me to take an hour and a half to just relax and do something nice for myself.  It felt really good. :-)

AlaskAnne, sorry about your cancelled trip!  Here's hoping for an even better one in the fall.

Congrats, Cielo!

[segolilymama]

Cielo - congrats on your girl! I am even more tempted to check tomorrow... but I know I won't.

Alaska - unlike re: your DH's back! I hope he is doing better now!

MamaB - YAY for massage!!!! It really does set the world right, doesn't it?

Darkblue - I am now making carrot cake tomorrow. Thank you ;)

Christy - relax :) it will all get done, or it won't. And you know as well as any of us, that if it doesn't get done, at some point it really just won't matter :)

The grant application is IN. Now we wait (I hate that part). I will say that the idea of getting a paycheck soon is SO nice - and I am already dreaming about spending some $$$ on this baby ;)

[cieloazul]

Thanks everyone for the congratulations on our daughter. I'm tickled pink :)

AlaskaAnne - I'm so sorry your husband hurt his back and that you had to postpone your trip. That's awesome though that you have so many healers in the family. Hope he's on the mend.

Travelmumma - A full day back would be exhausting, especially with sleep trouble complicating things. You know I wouldn't worry about how you sleep. Maybe try to set yourself up in a position that feels safe but after you drift off, you'll wake up if you've moved in a way that squishes you or the baby. I just added two more pillows to my set-up this week and it makes a big difference to feel more supported on my side.

[Millie Ivy]

Subbing!

we are doing well, here.  20.5 weeks, found out it's a boy, finally starting to feel something (anterior placenta kept me from feeling movement) but still not a ton.

Been very tired, but this summer I've been insanely busy.  Finally having some times to rest, and in a couple weeks it's back to school!  (which should help and hinder, in some ways.  Ill have to be back on someone elses schedules, crazy school times, getting up early. But all three will be in school for the first time ever and I'm sort of in awe at the thought)

Nearly done with yoga teacher training.  My graduation is at the end of August, but most of my work is done.  I need to assist a couple more classes (that will be done this week ), take one more class (this week), and finish a meditation series that's on monday nights (3 more classes, really enjoying these!)

With all the work this summer getting school done, I've not taken much time to knit, and I'm finally doing some again.  finishing up a little pair of longies out of handspun.  SO cute. I'll post pics when I get some. 

Also making some plans to keep us organized in the fall.  Chores, menu, schedules, etc.  I'm going to try doing the same breakfast menu every week (5 different breakfasts though) to keep me in the habit of homecooked breakfasts. 

And, that's sort of it for us right now!

[kel]

Ditto on the sleeping in less than ideal positions thoughts.  If you do a search on Mothering (which I've done in the past when I've worried) - you'll find that lots of people end up on their back or even partly on their stomachs! throughout the night.  When you wake up in a position that you would prefer not to be in, just switch back to your right side again.  Sleeping on your right side is said to be the best, but I'd guess your left side would be second best - so I wouldn't worry in the least.  I wake up on my back all the time - not normally - just when I'm pregnant for some reason!  It's said that you would wake up because of discomfort and switch position before anything worrisome would be likely to happen.  xox

Well, my pregnancy is going great and I'm getting more and stronger movement now - last night right before sleep, after a pretty horrible stressful night - I put my hand firmly on my lower belly and said I love you and got the best kick yet in response - so that was really sweet.  I'm still having a very hard time with my now 13-yr-old - she is seriously depressed about being in day treatment and has been having periodic meltdowns/tantrums that involve nonstop crying, thumping her head on the wall, refusing to go to bed, asking why I hate her so much that I've put her in this clinic, repeatedly saying that she would rather just die - it's all "normal" and a lot of the kids/parents with starved kids go through it during the re-feeding process before things get better, but I can't say I'm not concerned about how it could be affecting the baby.  I ordered some flower essences last night for each of us (http://www.anandaapothecary.com/fes-north-american-flower-essences.html) and got some Rescue Remedy from the health food store for me and the 6-yr-old to take during these episodes (my 13-yr-old says they're gross) - and I feel like I'm eating really well and drinking water and have hours of quiet, healthy time during the day where I'm peaceful, and that I'm doing the best I can and hopefully everything should be okay. 

On a lighter note, we started making some handmade baby toys last night.  We've started out with the little rattles shown in the top left corner on my blog page - but I might work on a bunny today, too.  I'll post again when we have finished products to share.  http://prudencepouts.typepad.com/art_paper_and_wearable/2012/07/what-should-we-make-today.html

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by kel 

 When you wake up in a position that you would prefer not to be in, just switch back to your right side again.  Sleeping on your right side is said to be the best, but I'd guess your left side would be second best - so I wouldn't worry in the least.  

I hope that you can find something that helps with DD...that sounds so stressful for you and the whole family!

I have read that sleeping on the left is best, and that's what the midwives have said the last four pregnancies as well.  It's supposed to be for max blood flow.  However, the main issue is that as your belly expands that you're not on your back.  Which at that point won't be comfy anyhow LOL.

Originally Posted by travelmumma 

Anyone else having a hard time with sleeping?? I know we are 'meant' to lay on our left side but I just can't hold that position all night, so I wake up freaking out that I am suffocating the baby if I sleep on my right side..... Results in lots of sleepy panic and not a lot of sleep. Stupid, I know but it's so real when half asleep!!
Not much else here,just slogging along!!!

At this point things are still relatively small, there will be a point where you really won't have a choice but to lay on the side.  Then you'll find yourself sleeping with multiple pillows LOL.  I usually put one between my legs, under my neck and behind my back (that helped to keep me from staying on my back as well, also if I flip sides overnight I have a ready made pillow there for positioning as well LOL.  It's just all about figuring out how to be comfortable at the end and get some good quality sleep.  I slept the best with my third pregnancy.  At this point now I am actually sleeping pretty lousy.  I can't sleep with anyone else in the room or I'm up all night.  So, basically I'm sleeping alone on the couch in the great room.  Not ideal, and DH is not happy, but I need to sleep.  Everyone else wakes me up and I already get up occasionally to go to the bathroom!

Thanks for the encouragement about getting things done...well, so far I've gotten practically NOTHING done this week it feels like.  It feels like one step forward, two steps back.  Just so busy with the kids, and the 3 year old is a handful.  So, it's hard to tackle any projects and just keep with the daily dishes/activities.  My DDs do help about halfway with the dishes at least.