Originally Posted by CalmCenter
Pregnancy seems to be a very difficult time for my marriage. Struggling with getting along and keeping the peace. We have a 2 1/2 yo and I am sick of fighting in front of her especially. We just started marriage therapy, which I am hopeful for. But, on a day to day we would just like to get separated. It is difficult logistically so we are trying to be separated in the same house. Kind of silly, but maybe it will work.
We both have a strong commitment to stay together in some form to have an intact family, but it is getting harder all the time. Ugh! I know there is no quick fix but I'd love to hear your experience, especially any success stories. :)
Calm, I hope you find therapy good for you. If you don't jive with the therapist, try another. We've been in for 3 years and it has been the absolute best thing for us. We can talk and discuss and disagree without big huge arguments. We've both had to change along the way and accept the shortcomings of each other.
Originally Posted by thentherewere4
this pregnancy has been completely unexpected, and has caused an unbelievable amount of stress.
DH is continuing to push for termination, and I am continuing to push back. Out of respect for him (and I can completely see his point of view) I/we have gone to a women's clinic for "counselling" and an ultrasound for dating....I am 'going along' with him, but letting him know every step of the way that this is wrong (for me). At some point I'm going to have to put a stop to the facade....
I don't think I have ever been so stressed in my life, nor do I think I have ever had to make a more life altering decision. Either way WE are going to lose. I'm to the point where I am thinking about a possible separation years down the road -- would I feel better about separating if we DID have the baby, or would I better be able to live with a separation due to termination....make sense?
I envy others with their joyful pregnancies.
I am so sorry TTW4, its such a hard situation to be in. I feel like you would resent him regarding this no matter what, separation or not, and better to have a sibling for your other children and a child for you, with or without him, b/c you don't know exactly how your relationship with him will play out.
We aren't fighting per se, but DH doesn't want to acknowledge or talk about what is happening. With our losses, he can't even "go there" until later, refuses to tell anyone including MIL. He's been having some severe anxiety lately and tummy trouble, on top of the fact that he's finishing his degree in the next 4 weeks and we go on our cruise vacation the day after his finals are over, he's just overwhelmed. We had such a hard time with my son with GI stuff and food allergies, we both had PTSD from his infancy. He is over the moon in love with Chase but is so fearful the next baby will be similar and rough on us. We fought a lot when C was sick, on top of new parent stuff, the no vax, no circ, breastfeeding and elim diets. We also went broke with medical bills healing him holistically instead of mainstream. He's just worried that another baby will bring up more arguments and he likes the place we're at right now.