Weekly Chat 7/30-8/4 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[teegan db]

Pain: I just started to experience some lower back pain tonight and today. Last night, doing a modified child's pose in bed helped a lot, and today I've been trying to do some cat/cow poses just to stretch everything out. I'm hoping the discomfort is the result of sitting around all (rainy) weekend, watching the Olympics and not the beginning of permanent-for-the-next-eight-weeks pain.

Patience: I've learned that on the days that I work, the only option is to come home, take a nap, do some yoga, and THEN continue my day. If I try to run errands or avoid my nap, there will be anger or tears. I'm still very good at telling my husband (mid rant/sob) that I'm not angry with him and I appreciate him and I'm probably just tired/cranky/hormonal, but I'd rather avoid it in the first place than have to explain it to him.

Other than that, I had my shower on Saturday! Which was fun (new stuff! lots of books!) and now a little intimidating (okay, everything else I need is my responsibility. Wow.) We also had our 32 week midwife appointment, at which she told us that we have four weeks to find a pediatrician and tour the hospitals (one for emergencies that's closer, one that's farther but nicer if we know ahead of time we can't do the home birth). All of the stuff I knew had to happen by The End is now stuff I need to be actively working on. Also, my fundal height is right on target even though my weight gain seems to have plateaued at 23 pounds, which hopefully means I'm dropping some of the non-baby weight I gained during my very hungry caterpillar first trimester. Everything else at the check up looked awesome, AND my mother and mil got to meet one of my midwives, so everyone seems to feel a little more comfortable about the situation. Phew!

[13pumpkins]

Ava's Mom  (((hugs)))

calpurnia  what pregnancy tea are you drinking?  The girls are giving me such wicked heartburn this time around!  I'm jealous of your watermelon.  I keep forgetting to get one and even today, I was behind someone checking out at the grocery store with a gorgeous watermelon and I realized yet again I forgot one!!!

On pain, discomfort, and lack of patience  I feel so lucky to be up and around but a big part of it is I'm really terrified to stop moving sometimes.  I'm getting more tired and worn than I ever have with previous pregnancies but then when I go to sleep, I do not recuperate as much as I would like.  Pretty much, the heartburn and other discomforts keep me awake until I pass out...then, I wake up completely dehydrated!  Still, this is all minimal for the rewards I am getting.  The only thing I really would like to curtail is the heartburn.

curiosity what does it feel like for your belly button to invert?  While I could force it inside out with my previous two pregnancies, this one looks like it might actually pop it out.   It's pretty much gone now...

and because I posted this in last week's thread right when it closed down:

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadiMamacita 


wow!
this may be a dumb question, but HOW do you tell who is doing what??

At first, it felt like a rave party and really wild that I could feel them SO early.  Then, they moved into a region I could not feel but once they were big enough and high enough, it was pretty distinct.  Sometimes, it is as easy as two are kicking at one time and it just is impossible for it to be the movements of one baby...for example if Baby A head butting my lower left bit of my cervix and then Baby B is kicking on the right side (side note:  the weeks she played with my round ligament were totally uncool LOL) it is very easy.  Other times, it started as a situation where I could see the movements of Baby C, for example head grinding up under my ribs, and then feel kicks from Baby A or B in a place that would be impossible for Baby C to reach at the same time.  After awhile, I just started recognizing who wiggles where.  When they are all together, it is really wild.  Often, much to my dismay, they play this horrible game of worrying me.  One will have a "slow" period for a few days where she must be kicking her sisters more than me.  And then I fret.  However, now they are big enough that I can nudge them gently or play music if I am really worried.

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by 13pumpkins 

The only thing I really would like to curtail is the heartburn.

Apple Cider Vinegar. Intuitively it seems like the last thing you would like to ingest- I have read a bit on why it works and I'm not sure I could recap that for you, but it is a miracle cure. I don't really mind the taste of it- I just dilute it with some water and take a swig, some people mix it with hot water and honey.. I have found that you need to use a good quality one, like Braggs or something. I get the unfiltered organic kind from Trader Joes. I'm not sure the cheapy Heinz or store brand kinds work the same way.

Originally Posted by 13pumpkins 

At first, it felt like a rave party and really wild that I could feel them SO early.  Then, they moved into a region I could not feel but once they were big enough and high enough, it was pretty distinct.  Sometimes, it is as easy as two are kicking at one time and it just is impossible for it to be the movements of one baby...for example if Baby A head butting my lower left bit of my cervix and then Baby B is kicking on the right side (side note:  the weeks she played with my round ligament were totally uncool LOL) it is very easy.  Other times, it started as a situation where I could see the movements of Baby C, for example head grinding up under my ribs, and then feel kicks from Baby A or B in a place that would be impossible for Baby C to reach at the same time.  After awhile, I just started recognizing who wiggles where.  When they are all together, it is really wild.  Often, much to my dismay, they play this horrible game of worrying me.  One will have a "slow" period for a few days where she must be kicking her sisters more than me.  And then I fret.  However, now they are big enough that I can nudge them gently or play music if I am really worried.

that is wild!

[wendipauline]

Love reading everyone's updates, but I'm on my phone on the couch, so this will be brief.

I've hit a whole new level of pregnant over the past few days. My body seems to be adjusting to the new heaviness finally, but it was a tough weekend of that horrid tearing abdominal pain and severe backaches. I think I'm done leaving the house except for midwife and OB appointments. I can't even walk to the kitchen without buckling from the pain, so errands like grocery shopping are definitely out. My BH at night are insane- especially when I need to pee. The whole belly, everything below it, all of those ligaments and my bladder and everything get SO tight. It's excruciating to get out of bed or turn over.

A is still footling breech, and my cervix is taking a serious pummeling from those little feet.

Sleep has basically ceased to exist for me. I stared at the TV until 5:30 am this morning. Maybe got two hours, after I finally went to bed. and that's just how it goes these days. Thank goodness for the olympics- not that i care about them, but its comforting that i have something to stare mindlessly at for hours on end. I've tried Benadryl and Tylenol pm out of desperation but they can't overcome the discomfort and pain. Honestly I feel the most comfy and supported on the couch, but I can't sleep there because we still have house guests and will until the 6th. Also, my SO is working like a madman and will not take a day off despite my repeated requests. So I am really lonely.

Sigh. This is, by FAR, the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so glad to be 34 weeks. I don't think I can take much more of this.

[katt]

I feel almost bad for posting that while i have more aches and a few more pains from my first pregnancy, nothing like what you ladies have posted.  I bow down to you for making it work.

I have that dumb crotch pain going on.  I just want to hold myself sometimes when I get up.  But, it goes away after I walk around for a bit.

I don't have to pee in the middle of the night, THANK GOD!  I sleep on the inside and have to crawl out the end of the bed.  That is going to have to change before baby gets here.  Not helpful for baby-care.

Patience - same as always, I think.  I might have a bit less, mostly when I don't get enough sleep.  

DH - well, for this story it stands for DUMB.  He asked my 5.5 year old if he wanted to be there when the baby was born.  But, it wasn't a neutral question. It was slightly biased toward NO.  I could slap him.  up until now ds has WANTED to be there.  we've talked about it, we've watched videos for homebirths etc... he's FINE with it.  DH had to go and try and impose his weird hang-ups about childbirth being yucky on my kid.  WTF.  Comeon!  we want our kids to be better then us, NOT with your puritanical attitude toward a natural NORMAL thing.  (no i didn't say all that to him, cause that would have not been cool.)  I did tell him that DS and I had talked about it and DS has the choice to be there or not.  And, NO it wouldn't 'scar him for life' (dh's words) HOPEFULLY it would teach him that birth might be messy, might be loud (although i'm not loud), but it is NORMAL and NATURAL.

Also, he thinks he found out what's wrong with him.  (DH) He has these symptoms and we haven't the funds for him to visit a medical dr.  He looked up all his symptoms online and they are almost tit for tat Meniere's Disease.  Not anything that's really fixable, just something he has to live with.  Which REALLY sucks cause when he gets an attack he's out for the count.  I REALLY hope he doesn't get an attack when I'm in Labor.  I need someone to fill the birth pool.  lol

I need to buy my birth kit, pool liner, new hose and adapter, borrow an air pump of some sort.  Make sure I have everything on the list.  Pay for the birth attendant.

I have another wedding to shoot on Sunday.  (YAY!  cell phone and birth attendant I think)  

That's it really.

Hugs to everyone!!!

[MotoMom]

*Disclaimer* I just started writing and all of this came pouring out. I didn't realize I had so much to vent. Feel free to skip the novel. I think it just helped to write it out.

I'm lonely I guess. Maybe verging on depressed. Definitely irritable. I've taken to moping on the couch all day these last few days, bingeing on carbs, sleeping during the day and staying awake all night. DH works six days a week, comes home at night, works until bedtime and then goes to sleep. So last Saturday I was so excited when he got off early and looked forward to spending an evening with him where he didn't have to worry about work the next day. I asked him if we could possibly splurge on some Indian food (which I've been craving) for dinner. First he makes me feel guilty about wanting to spend money on frivolous stuff. Then once he finally agrees - at which point I don't particularly feel excited about going to eat food I feel guilty about - he invites our two friends out to dinner. I tell him that I would much rather enjoy his company one-on-one since, these days, he's more like a roommate I hardly ever see. He says he wants to see his friend and that we'll hang out together after dinner and watch a movie together or something.

So we go to dinner and as we're getting ready to leave, he invites them out to our house, which is NOT in any shape for having guests due to my erratic nesting habits - i.e. random items strewn about the living room floor, sewing machine mess on the kitchen counter, etc. I've had an achy day already, and he KNOWS this - I just did way too much the day before - but I just kind of suck it up for as long as I can and hang out outside and socialize. Later, after our guests leave, I remind him of the fact that he said we'd spend time together and tell him that I'm disappointed at the way he directed the evening without my input. He apologizes and promises he'll make it up to me and asks me how I'd like him to do that. I ask him to wash the dog for me. My sense of smell has been in overdrive for the last week or so and she's really offensive to me. 

Guess who still hasn't had a bath? Ugh. I'm just overwhelmed. It seems like I can't talk to him about it, because he's so incredibly stressed out with work, he has no patience to deal with anything else. We made up our last birthing class on Sunday, and he just wasn't doing what I needed him to do. He lacked his usual intuition about the kind of touch that's supportive and relaxing for me and I had to specifically direct him on everything. Then, because all of this is important in his role as my birthing partner, I brought it up to him and his feelings got hurt and he went off on this "I can't give you what you need" spiel. So I spent the next hour reassuring and consoling him about that. Then it turned into a discussion about his insecurities, fears, doubts and anxieties about work so we talked those through. Later, he drops the bomb that he has to spend 5 days in the field after our son is born - something he's known about but forgot to tell me. I get angry about the whole thing and he takes it personally and then we spend another hour with me consoling/supporting/reassuring him about that and all of the pressure he's under to provide for our family.

And all of my fears and doubts and hurts are just here quietly simmering on the back burner. I don't know if my husband will even be able to make it to the birth. If he misses more than six hours of work, he likely won't have a job. I don't know if he'll have what it takes to give me the kind of labor support I'll need. I have no help whatsoever to get the house in order before the baby gets here and I just have to shut my mouth and suffer in silence about all of it.

[Monkey Keeper]

Wow, we have lots of mamas needing some support in here.  Ava's, wendipauline, katt, MotoMom (and I hope I'm not forgetting anyone), some seriously love and hugs coming your way. The end of pregnancy is so incredibly difficult for so many reasons, not least of all the emotional toll it takes on us. 

I haven't got much else to say, but I couldn't read about all of the emotional turmoil going on without sending some support.

[beans]

Awww MotoMom. How kind of you to have the patience to take the time and console him about his insecurities. You need a pal to bitch to (here we are!) and so does he. Then you can turn to each other and support one another through this upcoming time of unknowns. You definitely have needs that should be met! If he can't do it b/c he has his own shit to deal with, I hope you have someone else you can chat up and who can do things like wash the dog for you.

Also- do you have a doula lined up? Even just in case he's unable to make it to the birth and you can have a stand in person to support you?

Wendipauline- I can't wait for August 6 for you!

[Ava's Mama]

motomom - sending HUGE hugs your way!  I second Beans suggestion on having a doula set up...it may ease (some of) both you and DH's worries.

I am feeling a little more emotionally stable today.  still insecure on the relationship stuff, but at least I can interact with people.  Last night I was so uncomfortable (pregnancy wise)..  My mom made a very yummy dinner and I ate too much.  Then it was almost like my stomach was so full that it was pushing on my uterus and causing BH contractions.  It seemed like they were every 5 minutes from after dinner until early morning.  I also got up every 1-2 hours to pee (so I am pretty sure the BH contractions were not because of dehydration).  Then I got all paranoid that my body is getting ready and I am going to have the baby at 37 weeks!  I would like him to stay in there 40-41 weeks!  I am more comfortable today, but I just can't get over how fast this pregnancy is going!

[ascher21]

I'm feeling all the ladies who need emotional support! *sending positive vibes*

Something odd happened this morning, my pee was orange. It had me a little worried. I'll tell my midwife tomorrow and I go in for my usual pee test at that point so if I have an infection, they'll tell me. I've been drinking cranberry juice today anyway. Maybe I was just dehydrated. I hope it isn't anything besides that. :(

I got to go swimming yesterday in a friend's pool (it's so much better than going to the public pool alone) and it lightly rained a little while I was in. It was actually nice and refreshing and I didn't overheat from direct sun. I never thought I'd be seeking overcast days, but they are a godsend!

[Jend1002]

I need all the positive energy I can get. We put our 12 year old dog to sleep today and I feel like my heart has been ripped right out. The sadness is overwhelming me.

[ascher21]

Originally Posted by Jend1002 

I need all the positive energy I can get. We put our 12 year old dog to sleep today and I feel like my heart has been ripped right out. The sadness is overwhelming me.

I'm so sorry, Jend. 

[Lazurite]

Jend, I'm so sorry. I'm crying after reading your post. We had to put our dog to sleep at the beginning of July. It's still hard. I miss him a lot but it is getting easier as the weeks go by. 

[MotoMom]

Oh, man. This has just been a tough week all around! Jend, I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss. Two years ago, I went through that and it's one of the hardest things to have to make the decision to say goodbye to your loyal friend of so many years. It's just not fair that they can't live as long as we do. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.

Thank you everyone for the helpful and supportive comments. I feel better about things this morning and I do have a doula for labor support, so that's definitely going to make things easier. 

[mole]

Jend I am so sorry for your loss. Sweet rememberings of your dog.

[2sweetsparrows]

Hugs to all the mamas having a hard time... 

[judybean]

Oh, mamas... it's entering a rough season for sure with all that is going on physically with our bodies (growing, huge bellies getting in the way, difficulties sleeping, heartburn/acid reflux from babies pushing up guts, bladders going nuts with babies pushing down, hips spreading/relaxing/getting uncomfortable, etc), and then the continued influx of crazy hormones, and then the reality that a BABY will soon be here FOREVER and... gah!  Life suddenly starts exploding as the Final Countdown begins (it begins for everybody at their own unique time, I think... some feel the crunch when the weeks remaining in pregnancy hit single digits, for some it's six weeks, for some it's a month, etc).  I really think spouses/SOs begin to feel this too even if they don't always articulate it quite as well or the same. 

I wish all those really struggling that peace will fall upon you.  Peace for sleeping through aches and pains, peace with spouses/SOs, peace with children, peace with short tempers.  Just peace, radiance, and joy for the lives we've been nurturing all this time.

...

After all that zen-ness, it's back to reality with heat here.  It was only supposed to be 95* yesterday, but of course it was 101*... today was supposed to be 97*, but of course it was 102*... and even now at 10p.m. it's 84* :(  I can't sleep when it's that hot.  dd4 can't either (which is why she's running around while I"m typing on here... sometimes playing with her train set on a stellar Melissa & Dough train table MIL got us! or climbing on stuff she's not supposed to... ugh... oh well... I can't lay beside her in her bed right now anyway).  We'll have to get up early tomorrow for an appointment with the midwife.  It should be a good trip.  We don't need to spend the money on gas, but it will be good to hit CostCo anyway (I love my small town, but sometimes the grocery store prices are ri.dic.u.lous. ... cereal is something I dont' keep on hand much, and only for a treat... but... a small box of any name brand cereal is well over $5.. peanut butter -- especially the natural kind -- is also ridiculous).  We buy in bulk anyway for our soon-to-be family of SEVEN *gasp*... so.. it works out good.  ... And along the veins of money talk, I'm hoping to see if my midwife will make a bit of a bend for our payments.  I hate even asking, but we have a LOT this month to get to (dh's ordination five hours to the south, travel costs, two nights in hotels, food costs, etc) ... we still owe $800 and it's supposed to be paid by 36 weeks for her to be on call for us.  I'm 34w3d today.  I'll see if she'll take $400 tomorrow and see if even we can just write a post-dated check (for Sept 1st... dh just gets paid once per month) for the reamaining $400.  It would just give a bit of wiggle room that we'll desperately need I think.  I guess I'll just ask and see :/  (I hate money... I hate money issues... and I hate asking somebody to break their own contract... the worst she can say is "no" and then we'll just have to figure something out... ... we'll get insurance money, but only *after* the birth... but of course we have to pay in full, out-of-pocket *before* the birth... ughhhh).

My biggest goal right now is making it to Friday and Saturday.  Friday's high temperature is supposed to be 85* and Saturday is supposed to be just 83*!!  Oh, bliss!  Oh sweetness!!  Of course I have to travel with all four girls 1.5 hours to the south for a baby shower for a cousin on Saturday.. but.. at least it should be nice and cool those nights.  ... I've never hoped for cool temperatures like this in my life, but my house NEEDS IT.

[katt]

Jend- Hugs hugs hugs  I'm SO sorry.  I hope to 'insert deity here' that we never have to make that decision.

[katt]

I hear you on the money issues.  I'm sorry I can't relate to the heat, at the moment, i'm LOVING the PNW.

I found out that I had 75$ in my paypal!  SCORE!  I was able to pay for the yarn co-op i joined, PureWool is coming my way!  Soft squishy dyable purewool.  yummy yummy yummy   -now just to make things people would like to buy.  :)

That leaves about 1/2 of the 75 left.  Sweet! AND, I got a reminder e-mail that I have a wedding on Sunday, I get a check on that day for that wedding.  THANK Goodness!  can afford our cell phones and such.  makes me happy

I'm going to a baby shower next month, not mine.  Trying to come up with good gift items.  She's a first time young mom, having a boy.  I made her a sweet baby cardigan.  I think I'd like to give her my "So That's What They're For" book, LLL contact info, a step stool, and try and find a baby bjorn potty (you know the molded kind?)  Maybe a quick soaker/shorties, she wants to CD.  The items are SO random, but the step stool - cheap plastic thing- my mom got us as a x-mas gift for the boy is a bathroom standard!  The bjorn potty works great for the car and I seriously think everyone needs multiple potties.  What do you think?  I'd like to spend next to nothing is possible.  So things I can make (sew or knit) give her from my stuff (books I dont' use anymore) or find on CL.

[Monkey Keeper]

Oh, jend, I am so sorry for the loss of your furry friend. I can't think about it too long or I get all emotional! My guys are 7 and 6, and they're starting to seem "old" which makes me think about a few years from now, and I hate it. May you feel peace and remember the warm, furry love of your companion fondly.