Dealing with anxiety, anyone else?

[mamanoish]

I had my third son six months ago. He's a great baby, super happy, sleeps well, barely cries...just a joy to have. I have been experiencing pretty debilitating anxiety about him passing away, or just something happening to him in general. I never had these concerns with my 6yo or 4yo. It's to the point now that i just stare at him every chance i get. I occasionally pull over to check him while I'm driving if he's not making noise. I put him down in his play pen to sleep around 8. DH and i usually watch TV or read, then when he wakes up anytime between 11-12 i bring him to bed with me. I can't even bare to think of him not being in the same room with me. I have been sleepy before he wakes up but i just can't go to sleep on the couch with him right there in the playpen. When we're watching TV i usually check him every 10 minutes. I get up and walk over (he's in the living room with us) and put my hand on him to check his breathing. I had an arms reach Co sleeper but i couldn't fall asleep with him in it. We bedshare and i feel much better like this. I still wake about every hour and check on him, but i sleep on my side so he can nurse with my hand on his tummy. Six months of this and it's not getting better, only worse the longer he sleeps. The thought of having him in the other room in a crib makes my stomach hurt. I feel crazy. All of my mom friends can't wait until their babies sleep through the night but the thought makes me nauseous.

I started talking with a counselor about my anxiety. She feels it's a result of me never dealing emotionally with miscarriages i had prior to his birth. My 4yo is autistic as well as epileptic. Between him and my new baby, i feel like i could lose my children forever any day. I know tomorrow is never promised, but i just can't handle this anxiety anymore. I'm hoping through our counseling that i can get over this and enjoy my babies.

Anyone else experience anxiety post partum?? What helps you manage it? I've tried taking walks, getting fresh air to relax but nothing helps. i just want to be able to enjoy my family without worrying that something awful is going to happen.

[heatherdeg]

Does your therapist feel like it's worth considering medication to get you through until you can process your losses?

And as the mother of a spectrum kid myself (who had seizures when he was a toddler), I say this gently and with absolute respect--but did they consider you processing the loss of having a neurotypical child, too?  This comes up in the special needs forum sometimes and I think that if the therapist is already tipped off to the losses, you might look into that one, too and examine how you've processed that reality.  We don't often consider that because we HAVE our children here.

I'm not sure if taking some extra B6 plus a B-complex would help you at all, but it may be worth a try in the meantime.

It's good that you're working with someone, though.

[Kdahlgren]

Hi everyone --

I too have struggled with anxiety. This site is a great resource for discovering ways to reduce or cure it. I hope it helps.

http://www.livingwithanxiety.com

K

[mamanoish]

thank you for the link i will definitely check it out.

Today was my second session with this counselor, I read these replies while sitting in the waiting room...she actually did bring up the feelings of loss from the diagnosis. We haven't discussed medication, but I'm starting to wonder if that may be best. As i discussed my fears further, she challenged me to not sleep with my hand on his chest and to gradually space the time I spend checking his breathing. I got emotional from the suggestion and actually felt like i was choking and started to well up with tears. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I'm starting to feel like my anxiety over SIDS is causing him to not sleep as well, too. He sleeps 4-5 hrs alone in his play pen but wakes every hr after i bring him to bed with me. This is slightly new though so he could be growth spurting.

I know challenging myself is the only way to overcome these fears but i just don't think I'm ready. I will definitely look into B6 as well!

[ChristmasLover]

Hello,

I'm just like you...  I absolutely have baby OCD, scared of everything that could possibly hurt my baby.  The two things that I can think of that have helped me are:  1.  the Snuza Halo baby breathing monitor (it attaches to the diaper and beeps if the baby's subtle breathing movements stop).  I don't think I would have gotten any sleep for 8 months if I had not had that thing!  2.  St. John's Wort-- it is a natural supplement that really does seem to help with no side effects.  Just make sure it's ok to take with any other medications you may be on...

Other than these things, I'd say that my anxiety eases as the each baby gets older.  

[heatherdeg]

You might also try meditation.  I know, I know--sounds really silly.  It's also really hard (I find it difficult to shut my brain off) but if you're actually working on it, it may help.

Chopra Center just did a 21-day meditation challenge and I know they sell the 21-day program for like $30.  It might be worth looking at...?  Actually, the link looks like you might still be able to register for it.  I know from my training that the research behind what meditation and breathing techniques can do have helped people get off of anxiety meds.  Specifically the 4-7-8 breathing technique that Dr. Weil lays out.  I don't know why I didn't think of this before.

Hugs, mama.